


Bridge Between Worlds

by WhiteInkPenpal



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: AU Avatar World, Action/Adventure, Bending (Avatar), Character Development, Dragon Age Lore, Eventual Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Main OC doesn't know anything, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, New Avatar, Plot, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, The Dark Spirit (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2018-08-19 07:15:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 56,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8195552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteInkPenpal/pseuds/WhiteInkPenpal
Summary: The world is dying, and Avatar Jin has been charged with exploring a new one for both spirits and humans to inhabit. Their only chance for survival is a place called Thedas, a land plagued by fear and threats older than what history remembers, and a naive Avatar who believes she can fix it all on time.





	1. Prologue: First Interplanetary Travel

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this particular plot bunny jumping around in my head for so long it was actually distracting me from my day to day life. 
> 
> BBW is lore-heavy, drawing a lot of inspiration from u/eravas and other users from Reddit for my world-building. Of course, there are some things that are completely changed to fit my Avatar-Thedas plot and other things probably will have nothing to do with the actual plot of DA, but by then hopefully I'm either done writing this story or writing. Also, this is an AU Avatar World starting from Book 2: Spirits.
> 
> I'm horrible at writing OCs learning to defend themselves, so I purposely made Jin very powerful from the get-go to get rid of all the pesky damsel-in-distress/unlock-awesome-new-power-in-middle-of-fight scenarios. If she comes off as Mary-Sueish I apologize, but with what I'm planning on doing with the story, Jin will need that sweet power. Also, I have started enjoying Mary-Sue characters in certain stories, so this one might be one of them.
> 
> This is Solas/OC, but writing romance as plot has never been my MO. I do want to write a very meaningful relationship between these two characters, but I want it to come about slowly. And I want to give plenty of screen-time to all the characters, so if you see their name listed on the tags it's because they're given the time and care they deserve.

She trudged along in the emptiness, probably looking far more confident than what she truly felt. The last week had felt more like a dream than reality, but there was nothing fantastic about their predicament.

This whole place felt wrong, a bit concerning since this was supposed to be equivalent of her planet's Spirit Realm. She had always been at peace in there, but there was nothing that wasn’t unnerving about this place.

Maybe she hadn’t arrived to the other world yet? Who knows? Right now she was the leading expert in interplanetary travel, but only by ten minutes. At least now she could say she knew more than Aruk, and that would’ve been intensely satisfying had she not been on her way to a completely different world.

A completely _unknown_  world.

The only certainty was that this place had a Spirit World, or else she wouldn’t be on her way to either a heroic adventure or an embarrassing failure.

She really didn’t want to care about last part, but when the fate of her world rested on her rather adorable hands, it was hard to be apathetic towards failure.

Perhaps she should start taking this more seriously, then.

Jin retracted her metal shoes into her metal bending armor and tried to sense the seismic energy of the ground but, yet again, surprise! No ground! No earthbending!

She groaned and stomped her foot. This wasn’t the time for things to get worse! They were supposed to start getting better! Didn’t that saying go that after hitting rock bottom things can only go up?

Well, she reasoned, unless things hadn’t truly gotten as bad as they should. Then they could get worse.

Jin shook her head, dispelling the thoughts that all too easily occupied her brain, and breathed in deeply and tried to sense for chi again. Last time she tried she had felt nothing (which had convinced her she was in some empty limbo between worlds), but now she felt something to the east, only that it was corrupted and made all of her instincts tell her to get away.

Which meant she definitely had to go that way. She would take corrupted over nothingness any day.

She ran towards the source, freedom that had been restricted for so many years bubbling inside of her, and stopped dead when she got to the source of the chi.

A crystal.

A red crystal.

“Is a crystal alive?” she wondered aloud, if only to hear something, even if it was herself. At least her voice was nice.

“I would not touch that if I were you.”

She screamed, her voice suddenly becoming not as nice, and jumped to the source of the voice, only to find nothing there.

Jin was getting annoyed at that whole nothing business. She should ban the word for the rest of her little trip.

“Is anyone there?”

“Define is.”

Jin narrowed her eyes. “Do you think?”

“I believe so.”

“Then you is.”

The being chuckled. “Fine, fine, so you are made of flesh. Only a mortal would stoop to such low levels of wittiness.”

“I’m not the one who laughed,” she muttered, a bit more bitter than she should have.

“To answer your question, I am but only in the barest sense. Here, in the Void, nothing can truly exist, not flesh nor Fade nor spirit, except for the lyrium you see and His body. You are an impossibility.”

“You’re not the first to say that, but usually people just call me impossible. What is lyrium? Who is He? What is the Void?”

She vaguely remembered some lesson warning against having conversations with disembodied voices. Luckily her instructors weren’t around to say anything, and she hadn’t been taught anything about talking to disembodied voices in another world.

“I have never been called charitable and I would rather hush false rumors before they start. Answer a question of mine and I will answer one of yours.”

She huffed. For some sort of being who doubted their existence, they were very arrogant. “Fine. Ask away.”

“Earlier you spoke a curious language, never before heard in this world. Where are you from?”

“If you want to get specific, I was born in Shu Jing in Zuo, though I was raised in the ancient Eastern Air Temple. Wait, if you’ve never heard my language, how do you understand what I’m speaking?”

“I cast a spell on you before I approached you, adding the language of my people in your head and the replacing the old one for the time being. Yours is still accessible, so do not fear I have tampered with your memories.  I am surprised you remain untainted, considering my magic came from the lyrium.” 

The voice sounded far too amused at discovering she was untainted. What is that? But, better yet, they brought back a word she had previously forgotten. And introduced a new word she would surely never forget. “Ah, that’s my original question! What is lyrium? And did you say magic?”

“That was not what we agreed, mortal. A question for a question.”

She didn’t even have a face to be annoyed at! What a cruelty. “Fine.”

“You are from another world. How did you travel here?”

“There is a metaphorical bridge that connects our worlds. I crossed it.”

“Neither mortal nor spirit can travel across that bridge,” the being pointed out accusingly. Had they tried? Is that how they knew?

“Then it must be a good thing I’m neither,” she pointed out smugly. Being the Avatar brought a lot of unpleasant responsibilities, but the perks were just great sometimes.

“A being made of flesh given a spirit. If only I had known this earlier, I would have stopped my earlier quests immediately to pursue your world."

Well, it wasn’t just any spirit that could allow a human to cross, or else all the Sprumans of her world could have gone instead of her. But they didn’t need to know that. “You mentioned earlier being surprised that I was untainted. What does that mean?”

“The taint is a sickness that affects all that are tied to the Waking World, regardless of race or age, that turns them into wretched beings. It is almost a fluke that you do not have the taint, standing in such close proximity to all the tainted lyrium in here.”

Well, she couldn’t have that. Her task was very simple (with extremely complicated solutions, unfortunately), and if this taint could infect people by not even touching it, then there was no point to their plan.

Especially since this place was filled with tainted lyrium.

“How are you maintaining your existence?” the voice asked.

Jin shrugged, though she wasn’t sure if the being could see because, well, seeing required eyes. But, then again, hearing required ears and speaking a mouth so maybe they could see? “I’m not sure. This place is completely new to me. I just am.” She had an inkling it had something to do with being the Avatar of Raava, but she wasn’t about to divulge that information to a stranger.

“Or perhaps there is something more to you,” the voice said, not fully trusting her words.

“If there is, then I don’t know. Anyway, do you know how I can leave?”

“Leave the Void? Nobody has ever left the Void. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that nobody has left the Void for a lack of trying. We are Forgotten, and would like to remain that way.”

“We? Why have you been forgotten?”

The being was silent, as if trying to prove a point. Oh, seriously! 

“I have no more questions for you, so you receive no more answers.”

“You’re not interested in finding out why I’m here?”

“No,” the being replied simply. “Mortals always find purpose in mortal affairs, and such things are beneath my notice. To answer your original question, yes, there is a way to leave the Void, just as there is a way to enter it. Lyrium is connected to all spheres of existence and the Void. Simply touch the lyrium and will yourself to existence, and the magic will do the rest.”

Jin stared at the red lyrium in front of her with her arms crossed and a deep frown on her face. The being kept using the word magic, but everyone knew there was no such thing as magic. Nobody could will things into being. She could will things into moving with her mind, yes, but that required things to exist as a prerequisite. Even the Spirit of the Sun, the Giver of Life, was constrained in what it could and could not do.

But there was something more pressing than magic at the moment.

“And if I want to come back, I have to touch lyrium and will myself into nonexistence,” Jin continued, not allowing a single ounce of uncertainty in her voice. She had noticed the being divulged more information through conversation than by answering questions. That she had realized late in the game was a bit embarrassing.

“Except that you do not know what it means to not exist, just like I do not remember what it means to exist. Whether you can come back or not remains a mystery.”

Jin shifted her body, uncomfortable with the idea of not being able to access the bridge between worlds. The “door” to her side of the bridge wasn’t sealed off with a riddle of metaphysical realities. Maybe this was because of the taint that plagued their world?

Or was there more about this place that the being hadn’t mentioned?

“Thanks for answering my questions, but I think I should go. This place is really getting to me.” And she had a mission with limited time and no room for hesitation.

Before either the being or herself could change her mind, she touched the lyrium and didn’t even have to “will herself into existence” to feel a strange power invading her body. She did not feel as if she was being teleported or moving; rather, the environment around her changed instantly, as if her surroundings had adapted to the “magic.”

She was now standing in front of a piece of red lyrium in a desolate land. The sky had a green tint, but while she associated green with nature and life, this tint was ominous and almost sickly looking. Stone and buildings floated in the sky as if held by magic, which made her realize that there was such a thing as magic in this place. Staircases rose to no place in particular,  abandoned castles stood scattered around, and an island floated in the distance, a black castle looming ominously on it.

The air also tingled her skin rather painfully, and something inside of her resonated with all of her surroundings, as if her body was at home in here.  

What in the name of the Sun and Moon was this place?

Jin took one tentative step forward, half expecting the world to shift, and it sure did. Gravity decided to stop working on the normal direction and started working in another one. Except that now she just stood floating sideways, not really falling. 

With the little sense this place was making, she had to guess this place was the Spirit World. The gravity not working properly was something her own Spirit World exhibited in certain places. Though while Earth’s Spirit World was full of bright colors and many different spirits and human tourists, this place was just sad and dark and lonely.

She tapped into her chi and extended it, looking for any sources of life, but found none. That clinched her theory that she was in the Spirit World. Though Spirits seemed alive by many standards, they possessed no living body, thus no chi.

Jin, like any Avatar before her, felt at peace in the Spirit World, and thus went about to exploring it, initially walking perpendicular to the ground, but then manipulating her expectations so she was walking on top of it. The more she explored this Spirit World, the more anxious she got. This place wasn’t beautiful; like the Void, this place was empty. 

The ugliness of this world didn’t bode well for the future of her people and spirits.

Still, she hadn’t seen the Living World yet. She would withhold her judgements till then, but she didn’t have any high expectations. From what she saw around her, this world was primitive and didn’t have much to offer. 

Speaking of Living World, how was she supposed to get to it? She had been walking for a while and she hadn’t encountered any portals. There had to be portals, right? Else, how did the living beings and spirits live with each other?

She saw in the distance a humanoid figure made out of yellow light and almost hopped towards it. The figure must’ve sensed her presence because it also floated towards her, meeting her halfway.

Unlike her world's spirits who took on forms that looked physical, the spirits here looked like a projection. The spirit that approached her wore a cloak that covered their entire body and had its hood up, covering half of its face.  The tingling on her skin increased yet again, and Jin had to resist the urge to twitch. 

The spirit said something in a language she couldn’t understand. That was understandable; in fact, that was what she had been expecting when Aruk told her the world she would travel to was similar but very different at the same time. She had assumed different would include different cultures and languages, not magic that could inject an entire language in your brain in a matter of minutes.

“I don’t understand you,” Jin replied, motioning to her ears with a bare hand. 

“A human in her physical form in the Fade who only speaks the language of Arlathan,” the spirit said in wonder. “I have never seen such a combination.”

“So I’ve been told,” Jin said, not bothering to hide her amusement.  In her mind she was speaking the Common Tongue of Earth, but the words that came out of her mouth did not match what she said. It would definitely take some time getting used to this.  “I take it you’re a spirit.”

“A Spirit of Duty, yes, and it seems you carry a heavy one. Whatever could trouble a young human like you?"

Jin stared at the spirit curiously. "How do you know?" Was she sporting a nervous look? She had always done a good job at keeping her expression calm, even if her heart was a completely different story. 

"I wouldn't have been attracted to your presence otherwise. Even if you are here in the flesh, strong emotions still shape the Fade. And with the amount of magic you can channel, the effect you have is far greater than you can understand."

"Please don't tell me I have magic," Jin wanted to say, but instead whined. 

The spirit cocked its head to the side. "You didn't know."

"There is much I don't know, Spirit of Duty."

"Then perhaps we should see someone more equipped to handle this lack of knowledge."

"Who?"

"A Spirit of Knowledge, of course."

Duty started to move, but Jin didn't follow it. The spirit sensed this immediately and turned around, beckoning her to follow with an arm. 

"Why do you want to help me?" Jin asked suspiciously. It grated her heart to be suspicious of spirits, but she didn't know if spirits here were similar to the ones in her world, and she couldn't take any chances.  

If she died, her world died with her. 

"You have a heavy burden, and my greatest wish has always been being a part of it. Please, come with me."

Jin nodded, satisfied, and followed Duty. She wasn't sure how long they traveled through the rugged earth before they came across an inconvenience that stopped Duty on its tracks. 

A small chasm stood between their destination. This wasn't a problem for the levitating Fade resident, but it sure was for the person who relied on walking in the ground. Duty looked around, as if trying to find a bridge, and Jin tried to manipulate her gravity again so that she would be perpendicular to the ground. 

Except that wasn't necessary. Unlike in the Void, there was ground here. And the Avatar was at her strongest in the Spirit World. Screw this magic business when she has her reliable bending.

Jin extender her legs and crouched slightly, getting in touch with both her chi and the earth beneath her. She fisted her hands and willed pieces of rock to form a discontinuous bridge, going along with the movements of picking up the earth and levitating it on top of the chasm. She dropped the stance but the rocks didn't fall, her chi willing the rocks to remind exactly where she left them. 

She looked at Duty and smirked. "Shall we?"

Jin could've also powered a jump with airbending but her teachers always complained that she favored that element too much and she needed more balance with its opposite element. 

Duty floated across the chasm meanwhile Jin jumped from rock to rock, letting the rocks fall as soon as she stopped standing on them.

"That wasn't magic," Duty mentioned.

"No, it wasn't," Jin confirmed happily.

She looked around, taking in the new mountain structures and puddles of water before looking up to a very recognizable floating island with a black castle. They were getting farther away from it, but it was still very prominent.

"What is that place?" Jin asked, pointing at the rather ominous place. 

"Some mortals call it the Black City. I admit I don't know much about it, only that nobody should go inside."

"Why not?"

"I wish I knew, but it seems the knowledge has been lost to even the oldest of us."

As soon as Duty finished talking, they entered a rather run down stone structure with broken walls reaching ten times her height. A robed, violet spirit stood in an empty room, observing the boring-looking wall.

The tingling got stronger and even more uncomfortable. 

"My skin feels very weird," Jin said, no longer able to keep her discomfort a secret. 

"You're hypersensitive to magic," the violet spirit said in the language she spoke. "You possess a great amount of mana and your body hasn't gotten used to feeling magic, yet." The more she learned about this magic, the more she hated it. Chi never did weird things to her body; it was a part of her body. Magic was like a rude intruder. "You found an interesting one, Duty. She speaks Elvhen perfectly, something not even the elves of the Dales could say."

"I was hoping you could help us, Knowledge. This is... Well, it seems I didn't ask her name."

"I'm Jin. I'm from another world."

Duty took a step back, but Knowledge took in the piece of information in stride. "I didn't know other worlds existed."

"I didn't know either until a couple of months ago."

The yellow spirit shone a little brighter, as if flustered. "I do hope you don't tell any mortal you're from another world."

"Why not? It's not like it's a dark secret or a crime. Unless you have really strict immigration laws. In that case I'm sure an exception can be made, yes?"

"That should be the case, yes, but take it from a spirit that has studied the nature of the sentient beings of Thedas that this is the age of fear. Everything that isn't understood is destroyed. Anything that could be dangerous is destroyed."

"A human who speaks Elvhen isn't exactly someone to be understood from what I gathered," Jin pointed out calmly, but inwardly feeling daunted. The worst case scenario Aruk, the Parliament, and she had planned for, the one where she might need to defend herself, was quickly becoming a reality. 

"Spells that could transfer the understanding of language have been lost, unfortunately. You will be an oddity to everyone you come across, misunderstood, and perhaps hunted because of your magical aptitude."

Before Jin could ask Knowledge to expand on the "hunted because of magic" part, Duty pointed out, "Even I cannot understand you. I had never seen such a power before."

"What power?" Knowledge asked. 

Jin spread out her legs again and circled her hands in an almost wave-like motion, bending the water in the water gourd strapped on her back to move with her body. After her little stunt, she put the water back where it was as if nothing had happened. 

"You didn't use magic," the purple spirit almost breathed. "I have never seen anything like that. Then again, you are from another world. Everything about you is something I have never seen besides you being a human."

"So there are humans here!" Jin exclaimed, relieved.

"And elves, dwarves, and Qunari," Duty added. "Though dwarves are a bit of a myth for me."

"They exist, I assure you," Knowledge said, amused. "Anyway, Jin, even if we all have questions that need answering, you remaining here in the Fade must be painful, especially to someone as sensitive as you."

Jin's body had started numbing out the magic of the Fade, but Knowledge's words brought her attention back to the really uncomfortable feeling. “Yes, if you could take me to the nearest spirit portal, that would be great.”

“Spirit portal?” Knowledge asked.

Jin felt dread creeping in. “Yes, spirit portals… You know, the pillars of spiritual or physical energy that connects the two worlds? Do you not have those here?”

“No, in here, the Veil keeps the Fade hidden away. The only way to cross to the Waking World is through tears in the Veil, and such journeys often turn us into our negative forms because of the shock.”

“Negative forms?”

“Demons,” Duty replied. “Every one of us has a negative counterpart.”

Jin nodded. That was similar to her own world. Spirits had negative and positive jing, and though they couldn’t be classified as good or evil, most people were naturally attracted to spirits of positive jing. “I’m sure people can turn you back to your positive forms, right?”

“Is that a power you possess?” Knowledge asked. “Such a thing is unheard of here."

“Of course. Though it is very rude in my world to just change a spirit’s jing without permission. Usually they won’t mind. Spirits are very malleable compared to mortals. They don’t care about changing. But what concerns me is the Veil. Does that mean that humans and spirits don’t regularly interact?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Like I said before, this is the age of fear. Much has been lost, and everyone in the Waking World stumbles in the darkness, afraid of any source of light. Spirits are feared, and demons are the reason for it.“

Jin grunted and narrowed her eyes. Could she imagine a world without spirits? Could anyone alive imagine a world without spirits? Almost ten thousand years had passed since Avatar Korra and Host Unalaq had opened the spirit portals and ushered an age of balance unto the world. The idea of living separately was inconceivable to Jin, and more than slightly abhorrent. How could the people and spirits of this world feel when they led stunted lives?

Regardless of what they felt, her own people would rather die than adapt to such a different world. Well, if they even arrived to the world, considering the taint would just corrupt them and kill them.

And the spirits of her world that had vowed to follow humans wherever the Avatar led them would live a most miserable life.

She would lose half of her friends.

Duty interjected, “Knowledge, please. You’re distressing Jin. She will attract demons.”

Jin snapped out of her dark turn of thoughts and used one of the oldest Air Nomad techniques to empty her mind of both positive and negative emotions. A positive jing could turn into negative jing and vice versa, but a neutral jing brought balance that wasn’t easily broken.

“You calmed yourself down,” Duty said. “You have a firm control over your emotions.”

“Took almost thirty years to master this,” Jin said tonelessly, “but the benefits were worth it.” 

“You barely look as if you’ve survived twenty winters,” Duty pointed out.

Ah, yes, they would surely not have genetical engineering if they were so primitive they still kept their Spirit World locked away. Perhaps her age was something else she should just keep quiet about.

“Duty, you said you sensed the weight of my burdens.”

“I do.”

“Would you help me if I told you what it is that I wished to do?”

“I would do my best.”

Jin stared straight at the cloaked, yellow spirit. Though she couldn’t see its face or her own reflection , she knew her green eyes were intense. “I must save my people from terrible destruction, and the only way to do that is to get a new home for them to live in.”

“And this world is the place you have chosen?”

“No, I didn’t choose this world. This is the only world that is connected with a Bridge, and thus our only chance for survival. Initially, my purpose was to act as an ambassador, exchanging land for my own world’s technological advancement and secrets, but with what I’ve heard from this world so far, some things need to change before my people come through.

“I have to cure the taint and tear down the Veil.”

“You want to cure a disease that has plagued the Waking World for millennia? And you want to tear down a construct that has existed for as long all beings of Thedas can remember?” Knowledge asked incredulously. “Even I don’t fully understand where the taint comes from, or when the Veil was created."

“I don’t want to; I have to,” Jin corrected. “It’s not a choice. Will you help me?”

Duty flickered slightly. “Your burden is great, but your intentions noble. You would scorch this earth to plant the seeds of the next?”

She whipped her head at Duty, horrified. “What? No! Why would I do that?” she exclaimed.

“Tearing the Veil would bring no small amount of chaos, that is a certainty,” Knowledge said. “The Fade and the Waking World have not been one in many millennia. The lives of many beings depend on the Veil to exist as they are.”

Jin frowned heavily. “That is unacceptable. I will not kill a world to save mine. All life is sacred.” No matter how primitive, she added inwardly. 

The philosophy that had once belonged to the ancient Air Nomads had spread throughout the world, becoming very popular, and she was a strict adherent to it. Life was a choice, and to take that very choice away from someone was the antithesis of freedom.

“Then what will you do?” Duty asked.

“I’ll find another way, that’s the only thing I can do.”

“We can theorize about many things, but until we find a way for a mortal being to leave the Fade, our planning would amount to nothing.”

“Our planning?” Jin asked, arching a black eyebrow.

“I’m not a Spirit of Purpose or Duty, but nothing good has ever been accomplished without knowledge and wisdom.”

Jin smiled and nodded. “The more help I can get, the better. I have a feeling I won’t find such helpful people in the Waking World.”

“Perhaps, you might be surprised. Regardless, we must find a way to get you to the other side of the Veil.”

“Why don’t we find a tear in the Veil? It’s how every spirit gets through, right?” Duty questioned.

“A spirit, yes, but a mortal? Such a journey might kill them immediately. The last humans who tried to cross the Fade physically brought more misery than anything.”

Well, that put a stop to her plans. She thought about finding a piece of lyrium and willing herself to cross the Fade, but Knowledge told her that magic didn’t work like that, even in the Fade. Knowledge mentioned waiting until the moment presented itself, but both Duty and Jin reminded it that they were working on limited time.

“Wait, you said that spirits could cross the Veil through a tear, right?” Jin asked Knowledge. The purple spirit nodded. “Well, what about a spirit in a mortal body. Could they pass through?”

“A spirit inhabiting a mortal body? Such beings have existed but only on the other side. I haven’t heard of them crossing the Veil to the Fade, however. I don’t see a reason why you could.” 

Jin inwardly sighed. Of course they wouldn’t understand; they had never seen a being such as the Spirit of Order, Light, and Preservation. Then again, maybe there was a counterpart to Raava and Vaatu in this world, and they had chosen to remain hidden instead of real forces initially battling for dominance over the other.

“Take me to a tear. I want to see something.”

Knowledge and Duty did as they were told without any questions. Though the Fade still tingled her skin, she was starting to get more used to the feeling, and had to admit it wasn’t as painfully uncomfortable as before. Still, her own Spirit World had never had such an adverse reaction to anyone, so she had to theorize how her world’s spirits and humans would adapt to the magic of this world.

It sure wouldn’t be easy.

“There might be some demons around the tear, and we’re not combat spirits,” Knowledge warned.

Jin smiled in a slightly condescending manner. “Don’t worry, you’ll be protected.”

Knowledge and Duty led her through the Fade wordlessly, leaving Jin to her thoughts. From what she had gleaned in her conversation with the two spirits, her two tasks seemed short of impossible. She didn’t know much about medicine or biology (she was the Avatar, not a scientist), but she knew the basics of the body and spirit, and the taint didn’t sound like something wholly biological in nature. Curing the taint was the most important issue, and the one she knew less about.

Tearing down the Veil was something that was more up in her alley. Avatar Korra had joined the Spiritual and Living Worlds during Harmonic Convergence almost ten thousand years ago, so of course it would turn out that Jin would join another Spiritual and Living World. Albeit, she would be changing the lifestyle of another world. The part that would be more problematic was the whole harbinger of chaos part. From what she remembered, when Avatar Korra joined both worlds, spiritual energy poured from the portals, but no one was physically harmed from this. In fact, this made certain people airbenders, and eventually led to everyone in the world becoming a bender in the next centuries. If she tore down the Veil, would everyone be able to manipulate this so called magic?

Knowledge and Duty suddenly came to a halt. Jin crept behind them to see what had made them stop and observed the four creatures around a greenish looking hole in the air. They looked like globs made out of lava, leaving a line of fire wherever they went.

“That’s a tear?” 

“The Veil is thin here. You can feel the sudden drop of magic around, correct?” Knowledge said.

Jin laughed in excitement, pumping a fist. She was finally starting to feel normal again. “Yes! This feels great!”

“We can go no further than this,” Duty said. “We have no interest in crossing over to the other side, and the further we go the weaker the magic is going to get.”

“Magic affects you?” Jin asked.

“We are made out of magic,” Knowledge informed. “We draw magic from our connection with the Fade, and in here it is weaker than what I feel comfortable with. It is because magic that spirits can travel across the Veil, albeit not easily.”

Jin filed that information for future use. “And those are the so called demons you were talking about.”

“Yes, they’re rage demons. You must defeat them to cross to the other side,” Duty replied.

Jin scrunched up her nose. No, that wouldn’t do. She had never killed anyone in her life, whether it be an animal, spirit, or human, and she wasn’t about to start doing that now.

“Spirits don’t die like mortals do,” Knowledge clarified as if sensing her discomfort. “When one of us perishes our energy becomes one with the Fade and we can reincarnate under different circumstances. Some might even have the same memories.”

“That sounds a lot to me like dying,” Jin pointed out. “Don’t worry, I’ll just break social etiquette to save them.”

Jin jumped high into the air with the help of her airbending and sliced her hands downwards to throw powerful air slashes. The rage demons roared  in anger and aimed fireballs at her, which she tried to firebend, but their fire refused to submit to the will of her chi.

Her eyes widened and she hastily sent a metal bending wire to the ground at her side and sped towards it, barely missing the fireballs. What was that? She had never been unable to bend anything in her life, and the first time it ever happened was as shocking as frustrating.

She punched twice, sending short streams of fire towards the rage demons, but they seemed to not be affected the fire. She knew water doused fire, but she couldn’t waste the precious water she had. 

Jin anchored herself on the ground and pushed pillars of rock towards the nearest rage demon with her palm, knocking it out on impact, and sent wide sweeping kicks and air slashes at the other three.

She bended the water out of her gourd sent streams of water that encircled the four rage demons. The movements of the water followed a positive jing and eventually golden light enveloped them. The rage demons dematerialized in golden light, leaving behind little red balls of light that floated away from the tear, no longer threatening.

Jin bended what little water she had left to the plastic gourd she had strapped on her back. She was now halfway out, but she could make that water last for a long time. 

The Avatar looked behind her to see if Knowledge and Duty were still there. They hadn’t moved, and though emotions didn't work the same way for spirits, she could tell they were assessing her in a different manner. They probably thought she was joking when she vowed to cure this world of the Blight and tear down the Veil, but nothing could be further from the truth.

She walked towards the tear in the Veil and tried to feel for its power. It was magical in nature, and she didn't know how to use magic. Even if she entered the Avatar State, it's possible the trip might separate her and Raava from each other, or she might not be able to cross at all. 

Except, the spirits had implied that magic was energy that came from the Fade. The Fade was the Spirit World. Magic was energy from the Spirit World, and that energy could be bended in the Avatar State. 

Jin was giddy for five seconds until she realized how particularly useless that power was. Energybending was only possible in the Avatar State, something she should not use. Aruk and the Parliament had begged her from using the Avatar State continuously, and, if she used it, the situation had to be life-or-death. If she died in this world, spiritual researchers had theorized that Raava might be able to make her way back to her own world and reincarnate into the next Avatar, but if both Raava and her died in Thedas, the outlook was uncertain and not very positive.

Still, this was one of those life-or-death situations in her book, and she needed the Avatar State to get her body out of the Spirit World. 

She frowned. Her body. To cross, she should energybend her own body's life energy and the energy of the tear to safely go through, but she couldn't bend the physical objects she carried because they carried no life energy. Tears in the Veil apparently only let spirits pass because spirits were beings made out of magic, and she was positive her armor and equipment weren't part of it.

Ugh, there went her nice airbending staff, her water gourd, her metal bender armor, her diagnostics machine, her miniature backpack full of clothes, her other miniature bag with three months worth of food and water, and various holo-pics of her and her friends to remind her of what her reward was if she succeeded. And her most prized possession: a red feather from her firejay spirit guide, Feni.

That also meant her underwear. She was fine with being nude around very close friends, but parading naked across a land she had no knowledge of didn't sit well with her.

Jin slapped her cheeks slightly, snapping herself out of her problems. She would have to learn how to live a different life. She had been warned about this. She had been warned about many things, and she had accepted all of these dangers because she was the Avatar, and it was her duty as defender of her world to protect all of its inhabitants.

She unstrapped her water gourd and staff from her back, placing her precious weapons on the ground. She bended her metal armor away, slowly levitating the pieces down next to her staff and weapons, leaving her only in her underwear. She untied her hair from its top bun, letting the black locks fall to her mid-back, and realized she might have to cut it if she doesn't find . Jin unstrapped her bra and pulled down her underwear and shivered, feeling such an intimate connection with the Fade that left her with goosebumps and her nipples hardened. 

Jin cleared her mind and tapped into the power of a thousand lifetimes leading all the way back to Avatar Korra. She bended the energy within herself and the tear in the Veil so that she could safely traverse to the other side with Raava still inside of her, and entered the tear, not once looking backwards.

The Avatar had been called once again to save the world, and now was not the time for doubt.


	2. Naked and Annoyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avatar managed to physically leave the Fade, but the world that awaits her on the other side is much different than what she expects.

Rough landing didn’t even begin to cover her entry to the Living World. The Veil didn’t make it easy for spirits to cross, and had she not been able to bend, she would’ve been… Well, she didn’t know what would’ve happened, only that if didn’t sound good.

But she was happy to have left the Fade. She was now surrounded by endless trees, all towering over her and extending as far as she could see. Shrubs grew around the base of the trunks, and the grass was soft underneath her bare feet. Her seismic sense was working perfectly, allowing her to sense the vast wildlife in the forest her eyes couldn't see.

Though she was happy to see that this world had beauty in it, she was even more relieved that there was no one around to witness her nakedness. Decades of training in the bending arts had left her with a very athletic and toned body, but no amount of pride in her hard work would shadow over the shame she felt at strangers seeing her naked body. It made no logical sense but she couldn’t change how she felt.

Unfortunately for her, the next step in her plan was the one she dreaded the most: finding another person. Not only did she not have any clothes, but she spoke a language humans didn't speak. And she might look weird depending on the population’s genetics. And she would definitely offend a person at least once within five minutes of talking to them.

But that was predicted. Nobody just showed up to a new world and understood all of the customs from the beginning. She only hoped her own culture did not clash too horribly with this one. She knew her people, and though they could be easily dissuaded from conquering, they would do it without hesitation should they see no other choice.

Jin looked behind her at the small green tear that had helped her travel through to this world. It looked slightly bigger than the one on the other side, and something told her that made it easier for spirits to cross to this side. In her book, that was a nice plus, but Knowledge had mentioned that spirits turned into demons when crossing. Oh, well, how dangerous could they be?

Besides, that wasn’t her biggest problem. She looked around again, analyzing her surroundings. She was in the middle of a forest, naked, probably didn’t know the language, didn’t have food, couldn’t find shelter. She wasn’t lost because technically she didn't belonged anywhere anymore. That was a depressing thought, an _unproductive_ one, so she pushed it to the back of her head. There was no room in her head to be sad, or mopey. She had time, but she didn’t have _all_ the time in the world.

She needed to find food, and soon. Jin knew that her implant required more energy than the normal human being needed, but she wasn’t sure how long she could go without eating before she starved. She never had to think about starving to death because no one had ever died of hunger in the last two thousand years.

She wasn’t about to be the first one, either.

The Order of the White Lotus had a small survival course while she prepared to to travel to another world. Since she was the Avatar, she didn’t need to learn how to build a fire or clean water or regulate her body temperature or make shelter, but she did need to know how to find food. The biggest part was finding a source of water, like a river or lake. Animals would go there to drink water, and from there she hunt them for food.

Jin shivered at the thought of eating meat, and she almost gagged at the realization she would have to kill an animal. On most occasions she was fine with just taking a food pill, but when she was feeling like treating herself or went to some important dinner, she would eat rice with eggs and some fruits and vegetables. Never, ever meat or fish, though.

The monks of the Eastern Air Temple had always assured her that there was no evil in eating meat when the circumstances were absolutely necessary, but she still felt bad about it.

The Avatar slapped her cheeks lightly, snapping herself out of her pitiful thoughts, and headed where she thought was east. Her feet are getting very dirty, but it was reassuring that she can sense far more than what she could see or hear. And, she had to admit it, walking so far removed from any source of civilization was refreshing. As the Avatar, she had never been more than five minutes away from _someone_ , be it a Parliament member or a White Lotus guard or a person clamoring to meet her. Being alone was… Was better than what she had previously thought. The monks had always told her there was freedom in solitude, and she had thought she _knew_ what it meant to be alone, but that was nothing compared to this feeling.

Sure, there was the constant reminder that her world was going to die looming over her head, but other than that, she was _free_.

Jin had to stop the bubbling laughter that wanted to escape her throat. Now was not the time to feel happy. She should feel sad. Very sad. And worried. After all, she didn’t even know what the Blight truly was, and had no idea how to go about ripping down the Veil, and was even more clueless as to how to do it without killing anyone.

The leaves of the tall trees shielded her from sunlight, but a quick look to the sky confirmed that dusk was approaching, and she still hadn’t found the river in the hours she had walked. Maybe she had been in the edge of the forest? She could continue searching for the river during the night, but her body was screaming at her for rest. Intergalactic travel really took it out of her body, so she would indulge it with sleep.

She looked up and chose a tree with a thick branch a good twenty meters up. That would be tall enough to protect her from the forest’s predators. Jin used her airbending to power her jump and gently landed on the branch. The branch could support her body weight, but it wasn’t wide enough to allow for movement. She was a rather messy sleeper, so how long would she be able to sleep before she woke up free falling to the ground?

A gust of wind blew in the night, and she would’ve shivered has she not mastered regulating her body temperature with airbending. It did move her body a little bit, and she hoped this was as strong as the wind ever got or else she would also wake up in the air, but this time not because it was her fault.

Jin tried to make herself comfortable by leaning against the tree trunk, but the hard bark was poking her naked body almost everywhere. She had always amazed everyone with how easily she fell asleep _anywhere_ , yet this place was making it hard to uphold her reputation.

But she wanted to sleep, _dammit_ , so she was going to!

A couple of hours later, and she finally managed to do it.

Jin closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, she no longer was in the tree branch, but rather in her old room from the Eastern Air Temple.

A perfect recreation.

The Eastern Air Temple was old, older than the era of the Avatar and the Host. History taught that it was rebuilt by Tenzin, son of Avatar Aang, in the time of Avatar Korra and Host Unalaq. At that time, the whole world was advancing to modernity rapidly, but the airbenders saw the danger of unchecked technological advancements, and prohibited all forms that clashed with the airbender lifestyle.

Time would prove the airbenders were right to be wary, and though by the time she was born, all airbenders scoffed at the idea of technology getting in the way of spirituality, sometimes even criticizing their predecessors for being so close-minded for so long, the Air Temples remained stubbornly unchanged, and as a relic of the Old World, nobody dared try to impose change.

Thus, her quarters had an old-fashioned bed made out of wood with a water mattress. Her small desk and chair was directly opposite to her bed. She had a closet to her right, which had always been empty since no one had physically stored anything in their rooms for many centuries. Without the addition of the virtual reality mod that could add decoration skins, her room looked incredibly old. She had forgotten her room looked like this.

The best part of her room was to the left, where a glass door led to a terrace that overlooked the mountains surrounding the Air Temple, all of it so high up that they all mingled with the clouds. In her youth, she had thought true freedom was found in the clouds. She was incorrect, but being wrong did not make the loss of this splendid view any less painful.

She felt the Spirit of Knowledge and Duty materialize next to her, so she wasn’t surprised when they spoke. She was still confused as to why they were here.

“This is an interesting place, Jin,” Duty said in that disembodied voice.

Jin frowned. “Where am I?"

“This is the Fade,” Knowledge replied.

Her eyes narrowed further. “The Fade didn’t look like this before.”

“That’s because you were there physically. Right now your dreaming mind is visiting the Fade, and when that happens, spirits and dreaming mages can shape their surroundings. But, you might notice inconsistencies. I was unable to recreate this environment completely.”

Jin walked around the room, scanning for these inconsistencies Knowledge had revealed. The mountains were blurry and shifted between being there and being in another place.

“Amazing,” she breathed. She willed the mountains to copy her memory of the place and they slowly did, as if trying to resist her power. “That’s more like it.”

“You’re quite proficient at this,” Duty noted. “It takes some time for almost all mages to start learning how to shape their environment.”

“You call it the Fade, but I call it the Spirit Realm, and I was always more in tune with the Spirit Realm. I guess it doesn’t matter that I’m another world; some things never change.”

“Willing your environment to change, being hyperaware of the Fade, crossing the Veil, coming from another world… You’re not a normal, mortal human, are you?”

“No,” Jin said, her tone leaving no room for more prodding. Her identity as the Avatar was the only thing Aruk had begged her to keep secret, and she had already danced far too close to that line with the being in the Void.

“You asked for our help,” Duty pointed out. “Most spirits wouldn’t even consider the offer, yet we gave it freely. Answering some of our questions would benefit you.”

Knowledge’s purple projection form inched closer to her. “You have no idea how to control your magic, no clue about the world you are in, and want to cure the Blight and tear down the Veil without fully comprehending what they are. I only ask for knowledge in exchange for knowledge. I may not have the answers to the questions you seek, but I can give you the opportunity to find out.”

Jin scrunched up her nose and her eyes widened when she felt the wind on her skin, except there was no wind in the Fade at the moment. No, this was her actual body feeling it. She snapped herself awake and swayed a bit. She clutched the branch from underneath her, careful to not move even more.

She groaned out loud when she looked up to the sky and saw the sun was still not out. This must be the shortest and most uncomfortable sleep she’d ever had. Jin had half a mind to go back to sleep, but her desire of avoiding her spirit “friends” and her need to relieve herself ultimately convinced her not to go back to the Fade. Not that it would be hard to go back if she only needed to sleep. All those years perfecting meditation to access the Spirit Realm and here she only needed to do what she loved best and she was there.

If she meditated, would she go to the Spirit Realm? Or was she only able to astral project herself?

Jin resisted the urge to slap her cheeks and jumped from the tree branch, manipulating the air around her so that she fell like a leaf at moment before impact.

She crouched down and tried to think really hard of other things while her urine flowed out. She knew she was being childish by avoiding Knowledge and Duty, but she knew she wouldn’t resist their offer. Knowledge was right; she knew absolutely nothing about this world, only that its name was Thedas and people were scared of magic. Oh, and she had magic, which she had to learn how to control, thanks for that. She knew uncontrolled power was dangerous, but she thought by now she was done learning how to control her powers and she could focus more on mastering them.

Jin finished her business and swayed her hips like a turtle duck. She would leave this part out when she was retelling her heroic story to Aruk.

She considered foregoing her daily physical and mental routine, but quickly decided against it. Worse than hunger and thirst was the unimaginable pain her Universal Implant caused her if she didn’t keep her body and mind in top shape. This was the first time in her life where she regretted getting it.

Then again, it’s hard to regret something that hadn’t been her choice.

Jin went over the katas for earth, fire, air, and water, making sure they were a perfect match to what her instructors had taught her years ago. Though her bending now almost never incorporated the katas as they were, they were the foundation to the movement of chi through her body, and the amount of physical prowess required to complete them made them an excellent choice to keep her physical body strong, flexible, and dynamic.

Keeping her mind sharp was easier, but more abstract. Usually she read for fifty minutes, sometimes she solved math problems or puzzles, and other times she meditated. Considering her situation, math problems would have to do.

As she continued her journey in search of a river, she added, subtracted, multiplied, and divided anything she could think about. The harder the number, the more she got out of the training. She couldn’t check if she was right or wrong, but the process of getting to an answer outweighed the correctness of the answer in this case.

She was getting the twenty percent of eighty-one when she sensed the source of nearby water. Jin leapt in joy and created an airbending wheel that sped her through the rest of the way. Now that she knew where to go, it didn’t matter how fast she traveled.

The river was wide, and she could feel it was a bit shallow. The green of the forest gave away to the gray of rocks that littered the river bank and the stream. Jin observed the river and felt elated when she watched fish freely swimming by. She waterbended a sphere around the fish and took it out of the river and into her hands.

She waterbended the water back to the river and let the fish flop rather pitifully in her hands. “I’m so sorry,” Jin muttered at it. “But you must understand I have no other choice. I mean, I have no other choice, right?”

The quickest way of death was the most humane. Usually destroying any organism’s brain was an instant, painless death. She walked away from the river, placed the fish on the soft grass, and airbended a slash that cut deep into the earth, decapitating the poor fish. Staring at its immobile form made Jin want to cry. She had taken a life that no amount of power would bring back. Had she not arrived to this world, this fish might’ve served as food for some animal who truly needed it.

Jin roasted the fish in a low flame she firebended and ate it slowly, methodically, mechanically, trying not to think that she was eating the flesh of a being who had once breathed like she was doing right now. And, to add to her shame, she found herself liking the fish. All these years she had convinced herself the taste of flesh would disgust her, but her own biology disagreed with her.

She finished the fish and her stomach gave an audible growl, as if asking for more. She flushed and resisted the urge to hit her abdomen. Why was she still hungry? Was this not enough?

Jin groaned and walked towards the river. She hadn’t been rolling around in the mud, but she felt dirty, especially after eating the fish. The strength of the stream was not to her liking, so she waterbended it to go slower until the area around her almost resembled a pool. Much to her surprise, the amount of chi it took to manipulate the water was less, almost as if there was a force making it easier to waterbend.

She cleaned up some water to drink then washed herself slowly, staring at the fish that swam around her self-made lake. They still did not fear her, even after what she had done. Did that mean that they didn’t mind? That they were used to the cruel reality of the Old World? Now she really wished she had taken the Order of the White Lotus’s offer in teaching her mind to accept the possibility of eating meat and fish. At the time, she had truly thought she wouldn’t need to give up that part of herself, but she had sure given up at the first sign of trouble.

No, not exactly. She had done it for her survival. And her world’s survival, too. Her life wasn’t the only one on the line.

She took a deep breath and went underwater, getting her entire body wet. The water truly was beautiful. It was untouched by anything or anyone, pure and simple, never before bended. If this world didn’t have bending, then the very elements of the planet had never been subjugated to the will of another human. If this water had never known another master, would it respond to her more readily?

Silly her, the water already had a master, and it wasn’t her, nor would it ever be.

Jin rose back to the surface, her wet black hair covering the entirety of her face. She was in the process of taking taking it out when she heard a tree branch snap. She whirled around to the source of the commotion only to find four men staring at her, their eyes wide. They were in a simple white shirt with a vest over it and brown trousers, a fashion she had never seen before. Once the shock wore off, their agape mouths closed and they all reached for something attached to their hips and brandished it silently. The strange thing glinted in the sunlight and they crept towards her, a strange smile on their faces and an even stranger look on their eyes that made Jin instinctively want to cover herself.

A quick search of the silver things they carried made her realize they were made out of easily bendable metal. She was in the water, which meant it was harder to earthbend, but the perks of being a fully realized Avatar couldn't be understated. She quickly disarmed the men of their swords (they were carrying _swords!_ ) with a wave of her hand, letting them fall to the ground. The men shouted in alarm, but she didn’t give them enough time to try another weapon. She waterbended a giant wave towards them and as soon as they were encased in the water she froze them from the neck down.

They shouted in anger and fear, but Jin paid them no mind. Had they tried to steal from her? What kind of world did they live in where stealing was necessary? She looked down at her naked body and realized that _she_ needed to steal their clothes.

Aruk had said she needed to try to assimilate to the culture.

Jin covered her breasts and her privates and got out of the water. The men snarled and shouted at her in a foreign language, but she simply observed them. The smallest man was about her height, and though her build was lither, the differences were not that noticeable. She pressed on a delicate chi point and the man passed out, his head falling forward. His friends started shouting louder and had Jin been in a less forgiving mood she might’ve knocked all of them out.

She unfroze the area of water surrounding the knocked out man and grabbed him when he fell forward. She laid him down gently on the floor and started undressing him. She took his knee-high boots, long-sleeved shirt, gloves that reached his elbows, pants, belt, a bag with what looked like coins, and his short vest. She left him in his underwear because there was no way she was going to take that off.

Jin was about to put on the shirt when she got a whiff of the smell and almost gagged. Had this man not showered in the last five days? It smelled horrible! And she had no soap! She shot the unconscious man and his friend a dark look and gathered all the clothes in her two hands, then headed towards the river.

Washing clothes had never been her strong point, but she managed with the help of her waterbending. Once she was happy with her work, she bended the water out of the wet clothes to dry them fully, then put them back on. They still smelled bad, but the stench was not as pungent. She also was not naked anymore, so that was a nice plus. She opened the bag and saw a couple of gold coins inside. Gei, did they still use physical currency? She tied the bag around her belt, feeling only slightly guilty at stealing from them considering they wanted to steal from her.

The men had stopped yelling at her and had settled for simple glares. “ _Stop looking at me like that_ ,” Jin said. They cocked their heads to the side, confused. So they didn’t know the language, just like Knowledge had said. “ _The ice will melt after a while, but you better not try to steal from anyone again_.”

She airbended a wheel and sped away to the east, not sparing the men a second glance.

But they dominated her thoughts.

They had tried to intimidate her with odd-looking swords. The last time someone had used a sword in her world was in the Fire Nation era. After the creation of metalbending, swords were very susceptible to the Earth Kingdom, and arming every soldier with platinum swords was counterintuitive. Swords were phased out for ranged spirit weapons and the odd spirit sword, but that was in the Warring Era. Now, there was no need for weapons besides keeping them as decoration. On the rare occasion self-defense was needed, everyone resorted to bending.

Those men would’ve hurt her had she given them the chance. She had tried to erase their appearance from her mind, but their narrowed dark eyes and their dangerous smiles kept coming back in her mind. If she hadn’t known how to defend herself, would she have seen them up close? Would she have experienced what they wanted to do with her?

What _did_ they want to do to her?

She felt something tickle her fingertips and almost lost her balance when she saw sparks of electricity dancing at the edges. Jin panicked and shook her hands to get rid of the sparks, but this only made the electricity grow stronger. She dispelled the air wheel, the abruptness making her lose her balance and fall on her knees. Her hands were killing the grass underneath them with her magic, and the more she panicked the worse it got.

Magic! Magic is strongly influenced by emotions!

Jin breathed in deeply and emptied herself of the negative feelings towards the men. They did not _want_ to hurt her, but rather felt compelled to by a million tiny decisions, both in and out of their influence. They were partially to blame for feeling the need to hurt another human being to survive.

The words sounded rather hollow in her mind, but she did manage to calm down. The sparks went away.

Her disdain of magic did not.

But she couldn’t deny that she would need to learn how to control it. Uncontrolled power was a theme her history was too acquainted with, and the story didn’t always have a happy ending. Perhaps the emotion-emptying exercises the monks had taught her would help with her predicament. Fen had taught her emotion was the root of all good and evil in the world, and such things were always under their control.

The bright light made her squint her eyes. From the position of the sun, she guessed it was midday by the time she exited the forest. Her stomach growled again, a reminder that she was still hungry, forcing her to continue on her way east.

Knowledge and Duty had asked her to refrain from bending or using magic, but there was no way she was going to travel anywhere by foot. She created another air wheel and propelled herself forward, leaving a line of dead grass on the ground she passed on.

If those men had seriously used swords as a weapon, what kind of transportation did the people of this age have? Definitely not teleportation or hovo-cars. Engine cars? No, too advanced, maybe. Ostrich-horses? Oh Gei, she hoped not. She had never learned how to ride ostrich-horses.

A small town appeared in the distance and she quickly dissolved her airbending wheel to avoid any accidental onlookers. She walked he rest of the way and finally arrived some thirty minutes later, more tired, thirst, and hungry than before.

Jin observed the town with wide eyes. The houses were made out of wood and almost never more than one floor. Some windows were broken and had never been fixed, while others were dirty. The ground below her wasn’t paved, but made out of flattened dirt. The town had many tiny roads that lead to the various various houses, but only one main road that led to the market square.

Everyone stared at her warily. Jin noticed some mothers cling to their children more tightly when she passed them. Some men stepped aside and shot her nasty looks. Did she look threateningly? Jin hoped not; until a few hours ago, she had never killed anything in her life. Ugh, that stung.

Was it perhaps her clothing? She had stolen it from less than exemplary people. Maybe everyone around her recognized something about that group in her.

A man stepped in front of her, causing her to run into him.

“Ooof!” she breathed out. Jin massaged her nose and looked up. “ _I’m sorry sir, I didn’t_ …” she trailed off when she saw the murderous look on his face.

He started yelling at her, but she couldn’t understand a word he said. She took a couple of step backs and raised her hands in what she hoped was a universal sign of passiveness. The man with the impressive beard just prowled towards her, his blue eyes menacing.

The people of the town just stared at the spectacle and made no move to offer help, to either the man or her.

“ _I’m sure we can talk about this without resorting to fists,_ ” she babbled. “ _Not that you understand me. But we could still try! I’m not who you think I am!_ ”

She felt the air movements of his arm before she saw his fist swing and she easily evaded it. Even though her black hair covered her ears, decreasing her sensitivity to air, she was still a master airbender. The bearded man was surprised to see her easily evade his punch and must’ve decided it had been a fluke, because he tried again, only to fail once more.

Jin huffed. “ _Look, if it didn’t work the first time, it probably won’t work the second time. I_ really _don’t want to fight, sir, please._ ”

He growled, whether at her or in frustration she didn’t know. He spit at her feet, then turned around and walked away. As if a spell had been broken, the people that had gathered around them started dispersing, but not before shooting her nasty looks.

Well, that did rank in the top five of warmest welcomes she’s ever had. Probably next to the time she had unknowingly insulted the Parliament Elder’s son and then met with said Elder in the same night.

Leaving the town was easier than entering it, but no less awkward. Once she was far away enough she airbended a scooter and sped away. So, she was wearing the clothes of well-known bandits. That was bad. This world seemed far less advanced than hers, so news probably traveled slower. That was good. If she went far away enough, she would eventually hit a place where nobody recognized these clothes.

Jin saw another town in the distance but passed by, not wanting to risk a violent show. The sun was now at the top of the sky and though she could regulate her body temperature, the sunlight made it unbearably hot. After a couple of hours her thirst became more prominent, and her hunger harder to ignore. She was starting to push the limits of what her Universal Implant could handle, and she wasn’t looking forward to finding out the side effects.

A city was a site for sore eyes. She knew it was a city because the buildings were tall enough to be seen from the distance. They seemed to be made out of stone, but it had been so long since Jin had seen a stone building that she was unsure what they looked like. Walls surrounded the city with the only entrance being large metal gates that were letting a sizable stream of people in.

There were two guards stationed at the entrance, a woman and a man, wearing suits of metal armor that didn’t seem well-suited for fast-paced fights. A sword was emblazoned in the chest plate with lines coming out of it. Nobody paid any attention to the sigil when crossing by, so Jin didn’t either when she entered the gates.

This city’s marketplace was right at the entrance. It was a giant square that converged from three giant roads. Various stands were selling all kinds of vegetables and raw meats and armor and weapons and jewelry and Jin had never seen anything like it. Most of her shopping was done virtually from the comfort of her home. The concept of going to a different place to buy her necessities was as foreign to her as she was to this place.

She ambled, observing all of the trinkets the merchants were selling with amazement. She didn’t quite understand the language, but she managed to exchange ten of her gold coins for some vegetables and weird fruits that went from whole to chewed pieces in her stomach in the span of five minutes. Common survival sense dictated that she had to wash them before eating them since the bacteria of this world was different than hers, but her Universal Implant made her immune system almost impenetrable. Unless she had a gaping wound and injected millions of bacteria into her blood, she would be fine.

She continued to the less crowded areas of the city. While the town she had visited before favored wood heavily, this one relied on stones and cement. The architecture was more ornate in certain places, but nothing too gaudy.As she entered the more residential area, the houses reverted to being made out of wood, still more sophisticated than their counterparts. Her leisurely walk was interrupted when a small girl slammed into her thighs. Jin didn’t feel much, but the girl bounced back and fell on her butt. She wanted to say she looked around forty, but ages in Thedas didn’t match ages on Earth.

The girl stared up at her with watery brown eyes. Jin put on her most charming smile and crouched in front of her. “ _Hello_!”

She was dressed in a ragged white dress that was closer to brown than white. She tugged on the hem of the dress and looked down shyly. She replied in a small voice something incomprehensible.

“ _My name is Jin_.” The girl continued looking at her with terrified eyes. Jin exhaled heavily through her nose and tried looking even less intimidating. She pointed her index finger at her chest, staring at the little girl meaningfully. “Jin.” The brown-haired girl cocked her head to the side, her eyes now confused. “Jin,” she said again, then pointed the finger to the girl’s chest.

“Lily,” the girl, Lily, replied in a high-pitched voice.

Jin dropped her finger and grinned brightly at her.

“Jean,” Lilly repeated, pointing a finger at her chest.

She frowned. “Jin.”

“Jean?”

“Jin.”

“Jeeen?”

She stuck out her tongue in annoyance. Her pronunciation was going the opposite way. Maybe it was too hard for her? Or was her name too foreign.

The pitter-platter of approaching children interrupted what was going to be Jin’s last attempt to correct Lily. The girl stiffened, her eyes widening in horror, and she quickly ran behind Jin, using her body as a shield. The Avatar beamed at the girl, standing up to face whatever was chasing her, and offered Lily her hand, which she snatched without hesitation.

Two boys appeared down the end of the road, looking no older than… Well, she wasn’t sure, but they couldn’t be taller than her stomach. The taller one was pudgy and wore a dirty white shirt with brown pants, while the shorter one wore a yellow tunic that reached his knees. The three children had brown-hair and brown-eyes and were dirty, but none of them smelled bad.

Jin had hoped that her presence would deescalate whatever trouble Lily had gotten herself in, but the two boys crept towards them, their eyes mischievous.

“ _I know you can’t understand me, but I hope my voice sounds stern enough to dissuade you from doing what I think you want to do,_ ” she said. The boys stared up at her, confused, but continued getting closer. Had these boys no sense of survival? Lily shivered behind her, compelling Jin to cover her fully and making her stance more threatening. “ _I don’t want to embarrass either of you!”_

The boys looked at each other, then simultaneously blew raspberries at her, running away before Jin could even process what they had done.

Wow, blowing raspberries was the universal sign of childish dissent in authority.

Lily laughed, jumping up and down. Jin smirked and looked into the distance, wishing there was some wind blowing so she could look like those heroes in movers after they did something grand.

The girl giggled even more and tugged her arm meaningfully, then tramped in the opposite direction the boys had left. Jin allowed herself to be led down the streets, wondering what exactly Lily wanted to show her. 

They passed through what Jin had dubbed the nice part of the city into a more rundown area. The smell increasingly worsened with every step they took. Jin’s eyes unwillingly watered at the stench, her sensitive nose picking up the smells of human waste. The road wasn’t as well kept and went from stone to dirt to muddy. The houses were smaller, usually with only one room, and made out of wood. Some houses had clean, pristine windows while others were dirty and broken. The sun was setting, adding a rather somber, dark look to the place.

Jin wasn’t surprised Lily lived around these parts. Her clothes spoke of little care in hygiene and not enough money to buy new clothes. She herself didn’t wear clothes more than once in her lifetime, but Jin wouldn’t be surprised if Lily had been born with her ragged dress.

Lily stopped in front of a house that was bigger than the other ones. Jin’s sensitive ears could hear the laughter of children inside and the creaking of floorboards under the children’s light footsteps. Lily opened the door, revealing a mess hall with fifteen kids eating on a wooden table. They immediately quieted down when they saw her and Lily, bewildered. The only adult in the house, a woman with yellow hair wearing a beige dress, abruptly stood up from her seat on the table, glaring at Jin.

Lily started talking animatedly, moving her hands and making what Jin thought was an impression of her. She kept mispronouncing her name, but she didn’t have the energy to correct her.

Once she finished her story, the children cheered and gathered around Lily and Jin, dancing happily. The woman visibly calmed down and even smiled at her. She spoke to her in a rather high-pitched voice in that weird language of hers.

“ _Sorry,”_ Jin replied with a sheepish smile. “ _I don’t know what you’re saying_.”

All of the kids cooed in amazement at her and started tugging her shirt. Jin panicked slightly, clueless as to what they wanted, and tried to gently pry their fingers from the hem of her shirt. “ _Please, don’t do that,_ ” she said with a nervous chuckle.

Lily yelled something, snapping the kids out of their stupor. They took a couple of steps back, but their faces still had the barely restrained excitement.

The woman made her way from the head of the table, stopping a short distance away from Jin. She pointed at Jin and said, “Jean,” then pointed at herself at said, “Valerie.”

Jin considered correcting her pronunciation but thought better of it. If her name was too weird for the general populace to pronounce then perhaps she should tweak it slightly to fit in better. She already was weird to all of them.

“Valerie,” Jin repeated in what she hoped was an acceptable pronunciation.

Valerie grinned and nodded excitedly. It must not be often that they met a foreigner. Her face morphed into an apologetic look and she beckoned towards the table. The kids stared at her with hopeful eyes, intensifying the confusion Jin felt.

A small boy with pointed ears ––why were his ears pointed?–– tugged her arm and made motions of putting something in his mouth. Were they inviting her to eat with them?

She grinned, nodding at them enthusiastically. She had eaten before, but she was still very hungry. The kids cheered and sped towards the table. Lily reserved a spot for Jin right next to her, and the boy with pointed ears took the seat on her other side. Valerie disappeared into another room and brought back with her a bowl filled with vegetable broth along with a water cup.

Everyone started chattering as soon as Jin started eating. She didn’t have a clue what they were saying, but Jin didn’t mind. They were feeding her a free meal, something that judging by the look of the area, wasn’t easy to do. What was this place, anyway? None of the children looked like Valerie, so she couldn’t possibly be their mother. At least not without some extensive genetic changes.

So where were the children’s parents? Maybe Valerie took care of the kids while the parents were away? But it was already past dinnertime, and most parents she knew picked up their children before that.

No use in worrying too much about it. Without knowing the language, she was far from getting her answers. Duty had mentioned she spoke Elvhen, the language of Arlathan. Was that a people or a place? Where could she find them? It was weird for a human to speak Elvhen, but why?

Jin didn’t know how to tactfully ask these questions. The children seemed enchanted by her, and whatever doubts Valerie initially had for Jin had seemingly disappeared at seeing how much they were taken by her. This was the first positive contact she’d had with someone from Thedas, and it could easily get ugly if she wasn’t careful enough.

“Valerie,” Jin spoke once she finished eating. The entire table quieted down immediately, with every member frozen, waiting for her to finish. “ _Arlathan?”_ The name just made them more confused at her. Jin pointed at her mouth. “ _Elvhen.”_

The boy with pointed ears perked up, his blue eyes widening and his mouth breaking into a radiant smile. He pointed at his ears and said, “Elf!”

Jin cocked her head to the side. Elf? Was that what he was, an elf? Did he think she was an elf? Jin pulled her black hair behind her ear and touched the tips of her ears. No, still rounded, thankfully.

The elf boy’s face fell, and Jin felt a stab of guilt at causing the poor child pain. “ _Wait!”_ she said. She wiggled her index finger between them and with a conspiratory smile she whispered, _“Elvhen.”_

It was then that a huge yawn ripped itself out her. She belatedly covered her mouth, blushing slightly when the children laughed at her expense. Valerie took pity on her and chastised the kids, though a couple snickers still escaped some of them.

The woman with yellow hair stood, the kids following suit. They picked up their individual bowls (Lily picked up her bowl and the elf boy her cup) and marched to where Valerie had first gotten her food, which Jin guessed was the kitchen. She followed them, observing the kitchen and their dynamic of cleaning the dishes on a bucket of water. Did they not have sinks? They had no food storage system, either. Her food was printed, so she had never seen with her own eyes someone store food, but she knew in the olden times there was a refrigerator system that kept food from spoiling immediately.

The kitchen was just a small room with a table, cutlery, and an oven made out of bricks and a coal stove.

Oh, no this world was so behind. Judging by the various oil lamps scattered around the house, this place didn’t have electricity either.

And yet, all of these kids were doing this she had never done with expertise. They were probably more self-sufficient than she was, and she was a little over two hundred years old. They were primitive, yes, but Jin had to admire how resilient they were.

Once they were done cleaning up, the kids retired to the last room the house had. It was larger than the dining room, but not by much, and it was lined with small beds, sixteen in total. Jin counted all the people in the room and came to seventeen, including herself. Tui La! She had been hoping to pay Valerie some coins to let her stay, but the fates weren’t being kind to her. Where would she sleep? She had slept in the wilderness before as part of her Avatar training, but it had never been truly uncomfortable, just a minor inconvenience. Here, though, everything was real, including the dangers.

Lily spoke to Valerie and another girl a bit taller than Lily in a whiny voice. The yellow-haired woman alternated from looking at her and the girl, as if considering something. Finally, she relented, saying something in a slightly annoyed voice, but Lily was elated. She grabbed Jin’s small finger and pointed at one of the beds, her eyes excited.

Jin frowned. “ _What about you?”_ she asked, pointing at Lily and making what she hoped was a confused gesture.

The taller girl whom Lily had spoken with grabbed Lily’s hand and pointed at another bed. Ah, so they were sharing a bed so Jin could have one. Jin felt overwhelmed with gratitude and bowed her head at all of them. She hoped they understood what it meant, and she had an inkling they did because their faces became somber.

All the children and Valerie went to the end of the room, where a wardrobe was located. The opened one of the drawers and started getting out matching white tunics, taking off their clothes and putting the new ones on. Valerie took out her own nightclothes and handed Jin a spare. She felt like refusing, knowing that this was probably the only other tunic Valerie owned, but one look from the woman shut down any protest she could make.

Jin was about to start undressing when she remembered she was not wearing underwear. It was odd for children to be okay in each other’s nudity, but it was more acceptable than her changing in front of them. She awkwardly retired to the dining room and changed into Valerie’s white tunic. She resisted the urge to squirm at the airiness below, but decided she would have to get used to being out of her comfort zone in Thedas.

Aruk didn’t know how lucky he was that he sent her here instead of him.

Everyone was already in bed by the time she came back. Jin slipped into her bed and curled into a ball. The bed wasn’t nearly as soft as her own, the pillows not comfortable, the size not big enough, the sheets too unclean for her. Everything was not enough to her standards, which seemed like a common theme so far in this world.

But the day had been incredibly tiring. Jin didn’t have much energy left to complain in her head before she slipped into a deep sleep.

And she appeared in her airbending training grounds. For a second she had forgotten that here people didn’t dream normally. Or at least mages didn’t. The training grounds where she had practiced her airbending was a large terrace overlooking the tall mountains. The Air Nomads of old practiced with the same view she had. The view had been useful to teach the young airbenders how to glide with their staves. Except now airbending masters flew in and out of the temple by simple skill of their airbending.

Jin had never been able to unlock flight. Being untethered to the ground was almost an impossibility for her considering just how much everyone relied on her. It wasn’t a problem isolated to her either; only a few amount of Air Avatars had been able to achieve flight.

She felt a presence materialize behind her. “Took you a while to…” Jin trailed off when she turned around, expecting to see Knowledge or Duty, but instead being greeted by a rather normal looking woman. She had airbending tattoos poking from her full set of hair and wore the traditional acolyte clothing. However, Jin didn’t recognize her, and that was hard to believe because she knew everyone in the Eastern Air Temple. Jin didn’t need her chi to realize this spirit or person didn’t have normal jing.

“Who are you?”

She smiled widely, her grey eyes crinkling. “I am a friend, and I thought as a gift I would give you a place you are most relaxed in.”

“Friends usually introduce themselves fully,” she pointed out. “For example, I’m Jin. And you are?”

“Not important.”

Jin giggled, and it apparently wasn’t the right response because the woman frowned. “All right, your refusal to introduce yourself fully and mysterious attitude put you in the negative jing category. What was it that they called you? Demon?”

The woman narrowed her eyes at her. “How did you know?”

Jin clapped her hands together and inched closer to the “demon.” “It doesn’t matter where I go, I’m a bit of a spirit specialist. Now, I’m really new on demons, so what’s your name? Or, actually, what do you represent?”

“If you don’t know, then I won’t tell you.”

“But where’s the fun in that! Fine, fine, if you won’t answer that question, here’s a couple more: how did you become a demon? Do you remember not being a demon? How long have you been roaming? What do you want to do? Why are you here?”

The woman barked a laugh. “Oh, how did I miss such a naive and stupid child before? The amount of magic you have is _criminal_ , and your resistance to me rather pitiful. Didn’t anyone teach you how to deal with us, girl?”

“No. Should I learn?”

“Please, don’t. I rather hate it when mages cower at my sight and start hurling outdated insults at me. I rather be welcomed with open arms.”

“Well, I’m not sure about welcoming, but considering I don’t know how to get rid of you, my choices are rather limited.”

The spirit growled at her. “Enough of this. Your mental fortitude is weak. I would’ve been content with feeding off your sloth, but now I can’t resist the idea of using your body.”

It lunged at Jin, but she quickly dodged it. The spirit lunged again, and Jin considered continuing their dance, but she was really curious as to what it meant by using her body, so she purposely stayed still.

The spirit collided with her body and Jin felt the beginning of an intrusion, only for Raava to easily reject the spirit, as if swatting a fly. The woman flew a couple of feet and landed on her side, sliding even further back from the impact.

Jin stared at the spirit with wide eyes. “You tried to possess me?” Jin asked. “Why?”

The spirit stood up and morphed into a brown gooey being with a hood and single bright eye. “I tire of feeding off mortals’ sloth. Your body is the only ticket to going past this accursed Veil, but I couldn’t even attempt to possess you. What… What are you?”

Why would spirits go these lengths to go back to the Living Word? Were they not content with living in the Spirit Realm? Even before Korra and Unalaq opened the spirit portals, no rogue spirits had tried to cross to their side, though that had a lot to do with the Avatar being the bridge between the two realms. But could this be because her world's spirits had been uninterested or because they had found no way to do it?

“I can’t be possessed,” Jin explained, but said no more. She was already intimately bonded with a great spirit. She was Raava, and Raava was her. When she died, her spirit would join the spirits of past Avatars living within Raava and reincarnate into the next Avatar. No spirit could get in the way of their bond, here or in her own world.

Jin observed her surroundings, a wave of nostalgia hitting her in the chest. She didn’t want to remember what she lost. Not right now, anyway. How did she get out of the Fade the last time? By waking up? How could she will herself to wake up?

Ah, there it was. Simple as that. Just will it so, and it shall be done.

“Hard work isn’t something you or anyone should be afraid of, Sloth. May we meet again in better circumstances.”

She left Sloth in the Fade, hoping it got its positive jing back, and woke to a new day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could translate Jin's speech into Elvhen with the help of Project Elvhen, but it has always been jarring to me as a reader to read in a foreign language only to see everything translated at the end or beginning, since it breaks my flow. However, if it's something that's requested, learning a made-up language has always been interesting to me.


	3. The Nanny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin tries to get used to living in Thedas, but life is a bit harder when she is the crazy lady nobody understands.
> 
> Now featuring Codex Entries of the Avatar World in Chapter Notes!

Jin huffed in annoyance when Tom refused yet again to go with her to the baths, evading her hands as she launched himself at him one more time. “Tom!”

The boy giggled and ran out of the house to play outside with the rest of the children, no doubt relishing in getting dirtier. Jin let out a growl. What was it with kids and bad smells? Did they enjoy it or did they enjoy annoying their elders? Had she been like that in her youth? She may or may not have delighted in worm hunting, but she always took a shower afterwards! Plus, everyone told her it was normal behavior from an Avatar born in the spring.

Flora approached Jin with amused eyes brown eyes. She wore an apron dirtied by both wear and flour over the simple white tunic and brown leggings all the children owed. Flora was the oldest, almost reaching Jin’s shoulder, and was seen as another authority figure amongst the children. Her duties usually involved cooking for the day along with Valerie, but most of the time she helped Jin out when the kids were a bit too much.

“Tom?” she asked with a sympathetic smile.

Jin sighed deeply. “Tom,” she answered in confirmation.

Flora put on her best authoritative face, stormed outside the house, and started yelling at Tom. The dark-skinned boy trudged back inside, blowing a raspberry at Jin as soon as he saw her. She smirked at him and pointed at the end of the line, where the rest of the children were lined up for their weekly trip to the Ansburg baths.

Jin turned back and counted all the children before heading out for their little field trip. There were fourteen of them, not counting Flora. Tom and Ron were the youngest, and every day they competed at least once a day over who was tallest. Ron always won but Jin didn’t have the heart to not say it was a tie. Lily was the next one, and she was still enchanted with Jin, calling for her whenever she wasn’t around. Victor was only elf boy in the house, and still a bit of an oddity to Jin. Carol liked to braid Jin’s hair whenever she wasn’t paying attention (really, she always was aware, but Carol liked to see how long she could go before Jin “found out”). Mandy had a lasting rivalry with Pierre about who was the fastest (Pierre cheated by starting earlier). Arthur liked to keep to himself, but he would light up whenever they started a tickle war. Felicia was a bit of a clean freak, but Jin never complained since it made her job of cleaning the room much easier. Benny was Tom and Ron’s ringleader, and whenever Jin was called to solve an issue with the kids, Benny was in one way or another involved. Robin enjoyed stealing books from… Well, she didn’t know where, but since she also pointed out words and associated them with things Jin quietly encouraged her little thief. Percy was a mean little shit who liked to cause trouble with the neighbors, which got her into trouble. Alex was a shy boy who had a penchant for squeaking or stammering whenever Jin spoke to him. Anna was Flora’s apprentice and followed her word like if it was law (not so much Jin, unfortunately).

All of these kids lived together in this house, and, before Jin had come along, had been taken care of by Valerie only. Jin had never seen an orphanage, much less lived in one. Orphanages in her world were a thing of a forgotten past, only mentioned in history books about life before the advent of life technology. Jin had never met her parents, as was customary of all Avatars and Hosts, but she never lacked attention or someone to play with. Valerie, as gracious and wonderful as she was, didn’t have enough time to spend with the children, and more often than not they yelled at each other, with the kid more often than not getting slapped in the butt. 

Jin filled that void. She took the children on little field trips around the city, or at least the part of the city ragged children could run around without being shooed. She played with them, took care of them, learned with them, ate with them, sang with them, fought with them, taught them tricks. There was little Jin didn’t do for any of them, and it showed in how jealously they watched over her. 

Once Tom was in position at the end of the line, Jin ambled out of the house and towards the bathhouses of lower Ansburg. Though she still didn’t know many things about this world, she knew she was in the Free Marches, in a city called Ansburg, or at least that’s what Robin had told her. As much as she loved the children, she was a bit skeptic about what they told her, but considering everybody she came in contact with was wary of her, she didn’t complain about her sources. 

Every time she walked past the streets, whether alone or with her gaggle of ducklings, she caught the stares of people. Her skin wasn’t weathered under hard work like many of them. Her teeth were white and straight, while many of theirs had already fallen off. She took care of her appearance, keeping her hair and body clean, a sharp contrast to the stench many people had.  Not only did she look different, she acted differently. She had been completely clueless in how to use the latrine. She smiled and tried to be friendly with everyone she met, but seldom did someone return her attention favorably. Everyone woke up before dawn; Jin had trouble waking up by noon. 

The children and Valerie also knew something about her was very off, but they appreciated her help so much that they overlooked all of her quirks. Jin stilled remembered fondly the time Valerie had attempted to teach her how to cook. Jin had never seen someone not 3D print their food, much less know how cooking worked. To say it was a disaster was putting it mildly. Luckily Jin did know how to clean and look after herself. The Eastern Air Temple believed that freedom and independence went hand in hand, and to be independent one had to know how to do things by themselves. 

But as much as everyone in Ansburg avoided her, nobody had tried to harm her.

Jin and the children arrived to the lower bathhouse without many problems. Flora had apparently also convinced Benny to keep Tom and Ron in line, making her job ten times easier. Even Percy had been well-behaved.

The Ansburg lower bathhouse was a small building that could only have twenty people at a time with a stone bath always filled with dirty water. She knew it was small and dirty because she had seen the Ansburg upper bathhouses. Yes, multiple of them. They were all grand with arches and ceramic tiles and statues and fresh, scented water and one for men and the other one for women. Not the lower bathhouse. No wonder the people were always dirty. Even if they wanted to bathe, they were better off not doing it at all. The difference was that the lower bathhouse was free, meanwhile the upper bathhouses had a hefty price tag Jin couldn’t afford. 

But she had a few tricks up her sleeve.

She closed the heavy wooden door. All of the children started jumping up and down in excitement, for they knew what was to come. Jin stared at each one of them, then put a finger to her lips, the universal sign of a secret. All of them nodded somberly. 

Jin waterbended the dirt out of the water, making sure to slowly show the motions so that the children could follow along, even though none of them could bend. Carol and Victor were the best ones at copying her movements, their bodies as flexible as water. 

Trusting children to keep her bending a secret was a big gamble, but they all loved her and understood that this was a very serious matter. The first time Jin had bended they had been surprised but not too baffled, repeating the word “magic” over and over again. Jin didn’t know what it meant, but it must’ve explained what she was doing. 

Now that the water was clean, the children jumped into the bath and started playing around, quickly forgetting her earlier fantastical feat.

That was another reason why she didn’t mind bending for them. Until a few weeks ago, Jin had had everything she could’ve wished for. She was her own hero. Here, the kids didn’t even have someone to take care of them the way the should be looked after. If she could make their lives a bit better by providing some clean water once a week, she was going to do it, no matter the consequences.

She looked down and sighed. This was why Aruk may have been the better choice in coming to this world. He definitely would have put their world first, Thedas second. He wouldn’t have fallen so easily to the charms of orphans to the point that he would put his cover on the line. The Host was five hundred years wiser than her, so why had he decided she must go?

The plan had been simple on paper. Learn a common language of the world, reveal her fearsome powers to gain an audience with the world’s leaders, then broker an agreement to peacefully coexist. This had all assumed Thedas would be much more advanced than what they currently were. Also, less fearful. If they shot Jin looks just for looking a bit different, how would they react when she told them she was from another world?

Jin admitted that staying with the orphanage helped the kids as much as it helped her. For now, at least she had a routine, a job with clear ways how to achieve it. But she couldn’t live like this forever. Eventually she had to figure out a way to tear down the Veil without killing anyone, cure the Blight, and find a way to bring the world’s leaders together to at least negotiate a hundred year ceasefire. 

“Jean!” Mandy yelled in fright.

She snapped out of her musings, stiffening when she saw ice patterns etched on the stone floor and the icy mist that had descended on the bathhouse. She could regulate her own body temperature because of her airbending, but the children were shivering from the cold. Jin emptied her mind of negative and positive thoughts, reigning in her destructive magic. 

The mist and ice disappeared, leaving only a terrified group of children staring at her. Jin carefully walked towards them, making sure to seem as nonthreatening as possible, and extended a hand towards them. Everyone except Lily flinched at her, their fear stinging something deep inside of her.

Lily stared at Jin with a glint of determination and walked towards her. Felicia and Robin tried to hold her back but she stubbornly wrenched her arms free of their holds. Lily stopped right in front of her, her brown eyes staring deep into her green, and took Jin’s hand into her own two.

“Magic,” she said in a small voice, shivering slightly. She then pointed at Jin’s chest. “Mage.”

That word must mean magic, and what she had called her… That’s what she was, a mage, one that struck fear into the hearts of little kids.

Oh, Gei.

Jin slowly raised her free hand and rested it gently against Lily’s small cheek. “Sorry, Lily.” Jin looked past the girl and into the children, who still sported wary looks. “Sorry.”

But sorries were meaningless unless she did something about it. 

It was time to stop avoiding Duty and Knowledge. She had to learn how to control her magic quickly, or else other people would suffer the consequences of her ignorance.

* * *

 

Her meeting with Sloth had brought about one good thing: her ability to recreate the Eastern Air Temple training grounds. Some areas were still blurry, considering she was still a bit of an amateur when it came to controlling the Fade even if she was the Avatar, but the most important parts were there. It was hard to forget the place she had grown up in, after all.

Duty and Knowledge were not there. She had made it very clear she didn’t want to be bothered weeks ago when she stopped talking to them. Since then, her visits to the Fade had been devoid of interactions. Jin would recreate old memories and play them out for her amusement, feeling like the producer of her own mover, all to avoid feeling as lonely as she truly was.

“Duty? Knowledge?” she called out. She wasn’t sure how distances worked in the Fade. Could they hear her? Did they at least feel her? Could she find them, instead? 

But if the Fade was like her own Spirit Realm, then there was no way of finding a spirit if they did not want to be found. This was their dominion. The Avatar and Host walked a fine line between mortal and spirit, was even at their strongest in the Spirit Realm, but even they could not be called residents of the Spirit Realm. 

Jin frowned. It didn’t matter if she didn’t know how to find Duty and Knowledge; she was going to find them, no other choice was acceptable. 

She shouldn’t have been surprised when Duty and Knowledge materialized at her sides, she really shouldn’t have been, but nevertheless she was.  

This world would never cease to amaze her. 

“You… You came back,” Jin whispered.

Duty said, “Your will is exceptionally strong, Jin. There was little we could do to resist such a call.”

“Unexpected, to say the least,” Knowledge continued. “I don’t remember ever feeling compelled by you.”

“Subjugating other beings to do my bidding has never been my intention,” Jin said softly. “I apologize if I caused you any discomfort.” 

“Young mortal, just because you compel us to come to your side doesn’t mean we’re slaves to your magic. A strong will can do many things in the Fade, but becoming a god isn’t one of them. I was curious as to why you called me, and I’m sure Knowledge was as well, considering you wanted little to do with us.”

Jin smiled sheepishly, looking away from the spirits’ curious gazes. “I was… Ah… Avoiding you because I didn’t want to answer any questions. But now I realize that I can’t just continue taking without giving.”

“And what brought this change of heart?” Knowledge asked.

“My magic,” Jin replied grimly. “I can control it but only after it has gotten out of control to begin with, and I can’t afford to… Lose myself, not about that, at least.”

“You would ask spirits to help control your magic?” Duty asked, astonished.

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re beings made out of magic, living in the Spi–– Fade, manipulating it every second of your existence. If anyone could become a magical expert, wouldn’t it be you?”

Knowledge’s robed projection glowed slightly. “Your way of thinking is refreshing, though that is expected coming from you, a human from another world.”

“Something tells me it doesn’t work like that in Thedas.”

“Like I said before, magic is feared throughout much of Thedas, and spirits are part of the reason. Nobody has ever asked me to teach them magic.”

“Why not?”

“They fear possession,” Duty explained. “I will admit demons take advantage of weak-willed mages and use them as a doorway to your world. Rather than finding out if spirit or demon has possessed a mage, they are all feared altogether.”

“So that’s what Sloth wanted to do?”

“You’ve encountered Sloth? And you successfully resisted its temptations?” Knowledge asked.

“Not exactly. I realized until after the fact that it tried to possess me, but by then it was too late. Didn’t give me time to explain that I cannot be possessed.

“Why not?” Knowledge pressed.

Would it harm to tell them the truth? So far, they had been helpful in acclimating her to Thedas, and they already knew she was from another world. They also had little care for the Living World. If there was anyone she could trust this secret to, spirits would definitely be the only ones that had little to gain from telling another person.

“Can you keep promises?”

“As long as we’re not corrupted into Sloth or Ignorance, yes,” Duty answered.

“Will you promise not to tell anyone, spirit or non-spirit?”

“Yes.”

“Of course.”

Jin breathed in deeply, then exhaled slowly. “I can’t be possessed because I’m the physical embodiment of Raava, Spirit of Light, Order, and Preservation. I am both spirit and human. In my world, I’m called the Avatar.”

“You’re the physical embodiment of a spirit? Wouldn’t that mean you’re Raava, not Jin?” Knowledge asked in fascination.

Jin shook her head. “No, the Avatar doesn’t work like that. The Avatar isn’t immortal, like spirits; we die. When an Avatar dies, their soul joins Raava’s and they reincarnate into another human, who becomes the new Avatar. If Raava hadn’t reincarnated into me, I would still be Jin, but because she did, I’m her physical embodiment, her power given flesh. When I die, I will join Raava’s spirit and reincarnate into the next Avatar, while maintaining my individuality, because I was never really Raava.”

“Can you talk to Raava?”

“Not easily. The Avatar Spirit is built upon layers. I can easily access my predecessor’s soul, Karina, but to access her predecessor, Yonsen, I have to make first contact with Karina, then I can talk to Yonsen, and so on. Luckily I don’t have to repeat the process all the time. I can talk to Yonsen without going through Karina. Raava has immediate contact with Avatar Korra, so if I wanted to talk to her, I’d have to go through all the Avatars until I reached her. That’s almost ten thousand years worth of Avatars.”

“Your relationship with this Raava goes beyond what I know about possession,” Knowledge admitted. “From what I can understand, your physical body is full of inhabitants, and has no room for another one. Certainly explains your unimaginable amount of mana.”

“Why?”

“I imagine that whatever energy Raava was made of in your world became magical energy here, which is why I believe magic comes to you like second nature. It _is_ your second nature.”

Jin’s eyes widened. “A conversion of spiritual energy! Of course! How did I not think about that before? Flesh is flesh in this world and the other, but the same can’t be said about spirits. That means that when the spirits of my world cross to this one, they will exchange my world’s spiritual energy for this world’s spiritual energy. I wonder how that will change their natures. I think that Raava changed in composition, but not in nature.”

“How so?”

“I can still bend all four elements, I can still access the Avatar State, and if I can do those two crucial things, I can do all the other things that come with being the Avatar.” 

After all, it was because of Raava that she could bend all of the elements, not only earth. Avatars stored their non-native elements in the Avatar Spirit, so if Raava truly wasn’t the Avatar Spirit anymore, she wouldn’t have been able to bend fire, water, or air. Same with the Avatar State. Surprisingly, using the Avatar State hadn’t felt different in this world compared to her own. She would’ve thought she’d noticed if the Avatar Spirit was made out of magic.

She scrunched up her nose. Magic was turning out to be a real pain in the butt by being this world’s counterpart to bending. Bending was easier. Bending was tied to the flesh, and flesh was immutable. Magic… Not so much. She would have to meditate soon to find out if there were any small changes she didn’t know about, but as long as she had her bending she would be fine. 

“Though it is good news that you cannot be possessed, this makes it harder for us to teach you how to wield magic,” Duty pointed out.

“Wield? No, no, no, I just want to know how to control it. Magic is too weird for me to use it day to day.”

“You’re a mage,” Duty said, as if that was all the explanation she needed.

Jin crossed her arms. “And a bender. I rather stick with only one form. I don’t want confuse my body.”

“You cannot expect to use your bending to get you out of trouble, especially if you refuse to kill,” Duty continued. “What happened to keeping  the fact that you’re from another world a secret?”

“It still is, but eventually I’ll have to tell somebody. I’m an ambassador for my world, after all.” She wanted to continue arguing, but she couldn’t deny the logic behind Duty’s argument. Her missions required a tad bit of secrecy, and an alien roaming around Thedas wouldn’t go unnoticed. But there was a flaw in its arguments. “Didn’t you mention that magic was feared in Thedas, though? Wouldn’t that be counterproductive?”

“Feared, but not unknown, unlike your bending,” Knowledge explained. 

Jin blew a raspberry. “Fine, fine, how do I” ––she waved her hands around randomly–– “do magic? Teach me, please.”

“Casting magic here is effortless, very unlike your side of the Veil. There are those in the Waking World who are quite talented in manipulating the Veil and performing magic.”

“So what you’re telling me is that I should ask someone who is not a spirit to teach me magic?”

Duty said, “That would have been true a year ago, but not anymore.”

“Huh?”

“Jin, there is much you need to learn about this world’s history that you are unaware of. Luckily for you, we know countless of lower spirits who like to recreate events from the near and long past. First, Duty will teach you how to control your magic, yet you won’t be able to wield it, as you wished, and then I shall take you to the first event that pertains the most to you.”

She felt her heart soar in excitement. History! Finally! But before she could let her imagination run free with different scenarios, the entire reason why she avoided Knowledge and Duty crept back in. “What do you want in return?”

“I’m Duty,” the spirit replied. “If I can help you in any way I can, it helps fulfill my purpose.”

“I would like to know more about your world,” Knowledge replied. “Considering it’s an entire new world, anything you impart will be greatly appreciated.”

Jin uncrossed her arms and curled her index finger underneath her chin. What the spirits asked fell in line with their natures, so she wasn’t too surprised. They were also not influenced by the politics Waking World, and considering the amount of people who apparently feared them, they couldn’t easily betray her. 

“You said I would be meeting more spirits? Will I need to make deals with them too?”

“There are thousands of different types of spirits. The most recognized are those feelings and concepts those from the Waking World experience, but there are many mimickers who use the Fade as their canvas. Most just enjoy having someone to witness their work. Others, most probably, yes, though they will each give their benefits.”

She took a large breath in and bowed at both spirits deeply. “Very well. Please, teach me.”

* * *

 

Having the vocabulary of a toddler made any of her missions or travel almost impossible. Thus, Jin had spent almost two months in Lower Ansburg, and she still hadn’t gotten used to the way of living. 

For starters, the stench still made her gag. The upper class had a better sewage system (it existed, for starters), while they had to walk a couple of blocks for the nearest communal latrine. The amount of times she had seen people casually stop in the middle of the road to poop was more than she could’ve thought possible.

At least she didn’t gawk anymore. That had served to alienate her from Lower Ansburg even more.

The lack of instant food was almost criminal. If she ever got hungry, she only needed to go to her 3D printer to print herself anything she wanted as long as she owned the schematic and had the right materials. On a hurry? No problem! She just had to swallow a food pill that contained her caloric needs for a meal and signaled the brain to get rid of the sensation of hunger.

In the orphanage there were no leftovers. She could barely keep up with her body’s energy needs, and she knew her presence was causing a strain in Valerie’s coin. It’s not like she could lower the amount of food she ate by not exercising or foregoing her mental problem solving, either; if she skipped too many days, her implant would start consuming even more energy since she wasn’t at her peak and starve her even faster. She had to adopt a meat eater’s lifestyle to avoid starvation. Valerie couldn’t afford to buy all the vegetables, fruits, and grains that made her diet back home, so it was either adapt or die.

Oh, and the clothes! The clothes! She only had three outfits and one pair of shoes. She had never worn the same outfit twice in her entire life, and now she looked like a walking photo. The only thing that made her feel better was that _everyone_ looked like a walking photo. Jin knew what outfit Valerie was going to wear before she even woke up, and it wasn’t creepy because it was so obvious.

At least she didn’t have to worry about keeping herself entertained.

The children behaved wonderfully. Every day Valerie delegated more duties to her than before. She was now the only one who could break fights with a single glance. Lily was her second shadow, but Jin adored the girl and liked to think that she was the cutest little girl in the whole neighborhood. Carol had cried a bit when Jin had cut her own hair three weeks ago, but she was delighted to find how quickly it grew. In return, Jin had learned how to braid Carol’s yellow hair, which still surprised Jin. Yellow hair had never occurred to her before. The only colors that made sense were black and brown. But here the options were almost limitless. Flora’s hair was even reddish brown!

Robin taught her the alphabet, but learning how to read and write was harder even with her augmented brain capabilities. Her world only had one language, a combination of tongues spoken by old empires. She had never envisioned learning a new one, especially one from another world. As far as anyone was concerned, she was illiterate, but from she could gather from her surroundings, this was the norm. Robin was the only one who could read and write in their orphanage, and only three other people on their block could make out street signs. 

Valerie taught her how to cook. She had gone from absolute disaster to decent when the stars aligned in a certain manner, but nobody ever made any disparaging comments towards her. Valerie also tried to introduce her to her group of friends, women from around her same age, but the language barrier was not as tolerable outside the orphanage. Jin resembled a statue for all of these forced outings until Valerie took pity on her and stopped bringing her out. Jin was just grateful Valerie had cared enough to try. 

She would whine about her sad state of affairs if she weren’t so busy.

Okay, maybe she whined here and there, but only mentally. Nobody would understand her grievances anyway.

Besides, every night Duty and Knowledge would take her to a new place in the Fade to learn about some historic event. Most of the showings were reminiscent of a mover, with the story colored by the point of view of an individual spirit imitating a person who witnessed the event first hand. The spirit-movers, as she had come to call them, were not in chronological order, however. When she woke, she catalogued what she learned on a piece of parchment bought with her meager earning in neat Elvhen script that she somehow knew how to write and read.

Most of the events she witnessed were from the Dragon Age, the age they were currently living in, since most of the spirits remembered it easily. The farthest she had seen was an assault by Qunari forces on Starkhaven and Kirkwall during the Storm Age. Jin wanted to find more, go farther than most people remembered, but that was harder than what she thought, even in a place as nonsensical as the Fade. Knowledge and Glory, a new spirit she had met in one of the spirit-movers, reminded her to be patient. Apparently, she already saw more than a normal dreamer because of her spirit-human duality. The Veil was a minor inconvenience for her rather than a metaphysical barrier between two worlds. As it should be when it came to being the Avatar.

This, of course, attracted the attention of numerous “demons.” Most dreamers felt their presence as painful, but Jin only saw spirits, and only after certain tells did she realize they had negative jing. Since she wasn’t physically in the Fade, she couldn’t spiritbend them back to their positive jing form, but this didn’t bother her. These spirits were harmless, after all. One time, a Spirit of Sadness turned into Humor when she took its dour outlook in life as a challenge to make it laugh. Spirits here didn’t really _feel_ emotions like people do (another unfortunate difference between her world and this one), but they were very receptive to what mages wanted them to do. Now whenever Humor visited her it would tell her a joke it must’ve heard somewhere, only for it to fall flat because it didn’t really understand intonation and exaggeration and the like. Humor probably didn’t even understand the joke.

Great deadpan, though. Made her snort one too many times. She would try one of its jokes once she learned the language.

In short, every day she accidentally found something new about the Fade or the Waking World, or both.

Her destination today was the marketplace, the one she had seen when she first arrived to Ansburg.  Now that Jin had a better grasp on the language, Valerie made her get out of the orphanage more to experience more of Ansburg. Valerie was short on potatoes and chicken and had asked her to go out to get them meanwhile she stayed with the children.

Being out in the open was a bit dangerous for her as a mage. Ever since Anders had blown up the Chantry in Kirkwall six months ago, the Ansburg Circle and its templars were extremely antsy about anyone acting weird. That Valerie had taken her in spoke of how open-minded or desperate she was to hire a random woman who only spoke Elvhen. Or maybe she didn’t care about that part and had sensed Jin meant them no harm. Jin knew that attitude towards her wasn’t going to last if Valerie found out she was a mage. The children defied every expectation she had of them keeping secrets by keeping hers for so long. She didn’t want to be taken away to some random Circle to be taught how to wield magic when she had an important mission to complete. 

She could spot a templar by their armor, the insignia of a flaming sword hard to miss, but made no move to avoid them. She had found out that templars couldn’t actually sense magic. Even if worse came to worst, Jin could easily metalbend all of their armor and weapons. Attacking templars was the easiest way to draw a target on her face, however, so it was a last resort plan.

Jin arrived at the marketplace and made her way to the meat section first. The stall next to the farmer she usually bought chickens from was occupied by a group of three elves. Only they looked different from all the elves she had seen so far. They wore clothing that reminded her of the woods and bore strange facial tattoos. 

One of the elves, a dark-skinned male with a what she thought was a snake tattoo running down his left eye, noticed her but made no move to greet her.

That was expected. She was used to everyone avoiding her.

Not that it had ever stopped her.

“Hi!” she said with a wide smile. Her accent on the Common Tongue had improved greatly and she could almost pass as a local for five seconds.

The elf scrunched his nose and grunted something about shemlen.

Jin perked up.

“ _You called me a quickling?”_

He made a double-take. “ _Quickling speak_ our _language?”_ He tapped the shoulder of his fellow elf, another dark-skinned male with black hair and an equally black branching tattoo on his forehead, who was in the middle of selling furs to the other stall-owner. “ _Mahanon, hear!”_

Mahanon stopped his conversation with the farmer and rolled his eyes at his friend. He spoke something in Common that Jin didn’t fully understand, but she could hear the annoyance in his voice. It disappeared when the elf mentioned her ability to speak Elvhen.

“ _A quickling speaks us?”_ Mahanon asked her in broken Elvhen.

Jin couldn’t quite contain her excitement. “ _You have no idea how long I have waited to speak with someone in complete sentences! I feel like I’m slowly deteriorating even though I know that is impossible!”_

Mahanon, his friend, and the other light-skinned male elf stared at her in surprise and confusion. Jin felt something inside of her break. “ _Do any of you understand me?_ ”

The light-skinned elf with a tattoo similar to Mahanon’s said, “ _Mahanon, Aenor, go back.”_

_“And she?”_

_“Us,”_ Mahanon said resolutely. He then turned back to the farmer and spoke quickly, gesturing at the furs with much more enthusiasm.

Aenor stared at Jin suspiciously and asked her something in the common tongue that went beyond the simple words she had learned.

“ _I am sorry, but I do not understand you.”_

Aenor became even more skeptical of her, but did not press the subject. 

After Mahanon traded the furs for coin, he turned to her and said, “ _Come.”_

Not one to refuse the only ones who understood her partially, Jin set with the three elves and left Ansburg. Two miles away from the city walls, near one of the woods she had traveled months ago, was a group of elves who also bore the interesting clothing and facial tattoos. The camp was surrounded by boats on wheels and beautiful white deer that grazed nearby. She counted twenty-eights elves sitting around a campfire, roasting a large animal. 

All the elves stood up when they noticed her. Not only was she dressed differently in simple brown trousers and a white tunic, but the distinct lack of pointed ears attracted everyone’s attention.

A woman with pale white hair and dark skin stepped forth, her grip on her wooden staff tight and shaking. Her clothing was different than everyone else’s and she could feel the magic emanating from it. “ _Why have you bring a quickling to we?”_ she asked in a low tone.

Mahanon gestured at Jin.

“ _It is a pleasure to meet you,”_ she replied and bowed towards the woman. 

The elves gasped and took a step back. Everyone except Aenor, Mahanon, Lahlas, and the woman with white hair. 

“ _How…?”_ she trailed off, her blue eyes astonished. “ _You speak Elvhen. Why?”_

Ah, this was the delicate part. How exactly does anyone explain a disembodied voice in the Void had implanted the knowledge in her brain without sounding like a total lunatic needing a good whack in the head? Not even spirits could exist in the Void, and yet she had come out of it. 

“ _I don’t know,”_ she replied honestly. “ _I just do. I cannot speak Common, either.”_

“ _True?”_ the woman asked Mahanon. 

He nodded and said something in Common she didn’t understand. He could be insulting her predecessors for all she cared and she wouldn’t know.

“ _Who teach?”_

_“I don’t know. I can’t remember. I know how it sounds but please believe me.”_

_“Speak weird. Words no make sense.”_

Jin had noticed that too. But she was sure _she_ was speaking it correctly, not the elves. Knowledge had mentioned that she spoke the language of Arlathan, an ancient Elvhen empire. It would make sense if grammar and vocabulary had deteriorated over the years. But that just made her even more suspicious. A human who spoke Elvhen was already a stretch, but a human who spoke _ancient_ Elvhen was too much.

“ _I am not sure why I speak like this either. Perhaps whoever taught me did not know the language fully.”_

The pale-haired elf nodded, her brow furrowed. Jin risked a glance to the other elves standing behind her. They were still wary of her, but they seemed more relaxed than when she first appeared. 

“ _Make sense. Clans have different speak. Dalish must teach you before. Not Common. Or maybe, made you forget.”_

Jin nodded slowly, but inside she was starting to feel giddy. Nothing like another person taking a guess at her origins. It made her lies more realistic. 

“ _Teaching you mistake, but late. You know. I am Deshanna, Keeper of Clan Lavellan._ ”

“ _My name is Jean.”_ Not really, but by now it was almost a reflex to say Jean instead of Jin.

Deshanna waved for the elves standing behind her to get closer to her. She spoke to them in common and whatever grievances they had against her faded. They went back to sitting around the large bonfire and cooking the meat, though they kept glancing back at her.

She then said something to Aenor, Mahanon, and Lahlas. They didn’t seem happy at what they heard, but they respected her word and left their company. Some elves made room on the logs for the three men to sit and didn’t even give them a chance to breathe before they fired questions at them.

“ _Come, Jean. Walk.”_

Deshanna led Jin towards the one of the woods near the camp. They were sufficiently far away from prying eyes, but still within everyone’s line of sight.

“ _One parent maybe Dalish,”_ Deshanna began. “ _Powerful mage. Keeper, First, Second, maybe. Magic strong within you. Wild. Dalish. You not fully quickening, not fully elf. Not Dalish.”_ She frowned heavily at the last part. And, from the spirit-movers Jin had seen, she understood why. Humans and elves didn’t have the most amicable relationship. The alienage a few blocks down from the orphanage showed her how terribly elves were treated.

She had also correctly guessed she was a mage. Did the magical clothing Deshanna was wearing have something to do with her sensing abilities? No, no, silly her! Mages could detect mana and magic. Deshanna must also be a mage.

“ _I know,”_ Jin sighed sadly. “ _I do not seek to become Dalish. Rather, I want to learn how to speak Common. Nobody understands me.”_

Deshanna nodded. “ _I teach Common. What give?”_

She cocked her head to the side. “ _Give what?”_

The elf motioned a hand between them. “ _Give. I give you. You give me?”_

“ _Oh! I have little to call my own. You would teach me Common?”_

_“Yes. We stay here long. The hunt is good. You stay long?”_

_“I live in Ansburg.”_

Deshanna crossed her arms and frowned. Though she looked young, her eyes looked incredibly old. “ _Fool me, but I sorry for you. Parent betrayer of Dalish. Other parent quickling. Speak little Common. Not Dalish. Not quickling. Nothing… Debt. Give a debt.”_

“ _I owe you a debt?”_

_“Fool to take word from quickling. But I sorry. I teach Common, you give a debt.”_

Jin guessed Deshanna meant she owed her a debt, but she couldn’t be sure. Still, it would be much easier to learn Common if she could translate from one language to another. Her mind would pick it up quickly and within a year she believed she could start speaking more fluently. 

Nothing motivated learning more than desperation.

“ _I accept.”_

Deshanna nodded in approval. She extended a hand towards her, one of the fingers sporting a beautiful ring, and Jin met her halfway. The first time she ever shook someone’s hand had been awkward, but now she had seen it so many times that it no longer felt completely foreign.

She was one step closer to being the ambassador her world needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Codex: Gei (给)
> 
> The Spirit of the Sun, named Gei, is a wandering Great Spirit living on Earth. With the exception of his involvement with the Savior Host, he steers clear from the dealings of both humans spirits, and changes his shape whenever anyone figures out his form. 
> 
> He is most remembered for the firejay shape he took when he journeyed with the Savior Host. Though no longer his disguise, the firejay is a good omen and a sign of friendship. Avatar Jin's spirit guide Feni is beloved by both spirit and humankind for his showy and cocky attitude.
> 
> Not much is known about Gei's personality, but from the writings of the Savior Host, he found delight in dropping feces on the unsuspecting heads of animals, humans, and spirits alike.


	4. Blood Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understanding what the people around her are finally saying does not make it easier for Jin to understand what is going on in Thedas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Jin finds a tentative position in the Thedas as an orphanage helper, asks spirits to help her control her magic, and stumbles upon Clan Lavellan, whose Keeper offers to teach her Common.

"Jean!" a soft, high-pitched voice whispered. "Jean! Wake up!"

Jin groaned and settled herself further into her covers, comfortable enough that she could ignore life around her. Though she could heat her body with her airbending, nothing beat a good snuggling with a warm, soft quilt, especially in these cold, dark winter months. 9:37 Dragon had come and go, bringing the death of trees and a blanket of snow upon Ansburg. Lethargy was on the rise, and Jin was one of the first victims. 

"Jean," the voice now had a bit of warning. "If you don't wake up I'll call Miss Valerie over."

"Noooooooo," Jin mumbled, then shifted further into her pillow. Valerie was especially mean in the mornings. She didn't have much patience for Jin's troubles when it came to waking up. She would shake her awake, yell in her ear, remove her quilt abruptly, or tickle her awake. If it wasn't so cold outside, she would douse her with frigid water. 

Though the children found this little tradition hilarious, Jin had one little ally who took pity on her. No, not Lily; the little demon would be the first to call Valerie over. Her morning helper was Victor, the orphanage's only elf. He was still the same shy boy who hid behind her legs whenever Benny picked on him for being an elf. Though Jin had tried to end that sort of attitude, it was hard for her to remove those sentiments from the older boy when almost all of the adults shared it. Even Valerie slightly looked down on Victor for being an elf, and the other children followed by example. 

But he had found an ally in Jin. She didn't care that he was an elf. She even spoke the language of his people, and was a mage. There was no one stronger than Jin in his book.

Except in the mornings, everyone had an upper hand over her.

Jin frowned and tried to open her burning eyelids, only to close them again. Victor rocked her shoulders back and forth again, forcing her to fully wake up. She glared at Victor blearily, but she couldn't keep the mean face at the dark-skinned boy any longer. He was just so cute!

"I'm up," she said rather hoarsely. Jin wiped her eyelids of morning crust and yawned loudly, stretching her body until she heard a loud pop. 

"Are you going off to do your morning exercises?"

"Yes. Want to join me?"

Victor nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please!"

"Go ask Valerie if she needs anything from the marketplace. I will be out soon."

The boy ran out of their shared room towards the kitchen, where Valerie could be found making the meals of the day. She had gotten used to the small size of the room and the lack of privacy. The beds were bunked, with the older children sleeping on top and the younger on the bottom. Only Valerie and Jin didn't have bunk beds, mostly for faster reaction times.

Jin got out of bed and headed to the wardrobe, looking for something to wear. In the last five months she had acquired two new outfits for the colder winter months, even though she didn't need it. They were made out of animal fur, and though a part of her felt disgusted to wear clothes made out of animals, there was nothing else she could wear without attracting undue attention. The coat was rather big and warm and she knew it had cost Valerie a fortune, at least compared to what the government gave her to maintain the orphanage. 

She put on her underwear, brown trousers, long-sleeved shirt, brown boots, and finished the look with the dark brown coat. Even this was minimal protection compared to what most people wore in these cold, harsh winter months.

Victor was neatly waiting for her in the dining table by himself. Breakfast was served in front of him and in the chair across him. Jin sat down and started wolfing down her eggs and beef jerky. Within seconds her plate was empty, and only the milk in front of her remained. She gulped it down and wiped her mouth of the milk mustache.

"Miss Valerie said that she needed some potatoes and ram meat."

Jin's eyebrows shot up. "Meat? On a Wednesday?"

Victor shrugged. "Miss Valerie didn't really say."

"Oh. Okay. Well, ready to leave?"

"Yeah!"

"Do you know if anyone else wants to come?"

"I think everyone is out playing with the kids from the other side of town."

Jin frowned. Those were usually the troublemakers. They liked to steal from the lower marketplace where she sometimes frequented. Sometimes her own kids would be involved in the mix and she would have to go apologize for them. Didn't really help with relations between her and the vendors. 

But before heading to the marketplace, Jin always did her morning routine in one of the solitary gardens of the city. Ansburg was an agricultural city that loved nature and wildlife. According to Valerie, no other city in the Free Marches had as many gardens as Ansburg did. The nice, grand ones were located in the upper side of the city, where the rich merchants and nobles lived. The ones around them were not ugly by any means, but they didn't have the same appeal. That and almost everyone was too busy with their lives to take too much time to spend on the gardens.

Jin had to make time to keep her body and mind in shape, and the empty garden was the only place she could do it uninterrupted. Though she looked like a normal woman, her muscles were well-defined and hard, and even if people could see that, they still wouldn't expect her implant-augmented strength. Keeping that kind of power didn't come easily or freely, which meant a harsh daily routine.

Victor liked coming with her in the early mornings to copy her routine. He try to follow her routine of pushups, sit-ups, pull-ups using the tree branches, jogs, sprints, and planks but he would always give up almost immediately. Jin was more surprised he wanted to attempt her regimen, considering she was beyond his league. His favorite part was when she practiced her bending katas. He liked the fire katas the most, but the water katas came the most easily to him. 

The training would always leave her starving, so after a small snack, Victor and her would head out to run her errands.

Her little follower would always get out of his shell and talk her ear out. He would talk about his earlier day if Jin hadn't seen much of him with vivid detail. Jin always listened in rapt attention, absorbing not only his story but his words. In the last five months, Jin had learned the language at a startling pace. It had taken the Dalish three months to teach her the grammar and some rudimentary vocabulary, and another two to fully understand the alphabet. It had taken a while to convince Deshanna to teach her how to read and write, but now a whole new world of books had been opened, which further helped her understand the common tongue of Thedas.

Whether learning the language so quickly had come out because of her genetics, her implant-enhanced mental capabilities, or because of desperation, she didn't know. She would guess it was a combination of the three. 

The only part that slightly annoyed her was her accent. She couldn't quite place how it sounded different than the rest of the Ansburg residents. The children said her way of speaking was soft, and she unconsciously shied away from harsh sounding words. There was almost a lyrical tune to her sentences that would make people look at her weirdly. It's not like she meant it. She had been speaking Elvhen for so long that the soft, musical way the language came out had influenced how she spoke the King's Tongue.

Her knowledge of Elvhen hadn't helped warm up the Dalish to her, unfortunately. They no longer made a point of standing five feet away from her, but they still viewed her unfavorably due to her half-Dalish, half-human parentage, even if she had never outright confirmed such a thing. The Dalish still believed what they wanted, and Jin wasn't about to argue with them when they were giving her a backstory she could use in her travels.

Deshanna had been a bit more suspicious of her origins, but had accepted her mysteriousness as an aversion to the topic. She had been appalled when she found out Jin didn't know how to use magic, calling out her Dalish father for being incompetent in one of the most important things to teach a mage child: how to use her powers and protect herself from demons. Glory and Knowledge had taught her how to keep it under control, and she could manipulate the Fade as easily as breathing, but manipulating the Veil to let the Fade through sounded far too complicated for something she disliked. As for demons... There was nothing to fear from spirits that were made out negative jing. 

Not that Deshanna cared about her reasons.

So now she owed her another personal debt even though she had never wanted to use magic. 

Mahanon, the lead scout, had warmed up to her, and so had Deshanna. Deshanna she knew for obvious reasons, but Mahanon would always greet her cordially and call her by her name, instead of shemlen, like the other Dalish. In return she would tell him any news of the Ansburg market. While Clan Lavellan lived off the wilderness, they would usually sell their crafts, furs, meats, and weapons in other cities. Now that the winter months were here, the city depended more on the Dalish to bring about wares since not many merchants traveled during these grueling months.

She tried to spot Mahanon in the market square, but the scout –or any elf, for the matter– could not be found. Jin felt a prickle of disappointment, but it only lasted a second before she lost herself to the bustle. Victor took her left hand and gripped it tightly, his eyes flitting from human to human with some wariness and fear. As long as Victor was with a grown human, no one would dare say anything to him, but she knew he had received many insults from some unpleasant people. 

Jin wanted to protect him from that, but Valerie insisted Victor needed to grow a thicker skin. According to her, the only place he would be safe from jeers was in the alienage, and that was not a safe place for an orphan elf boy. The elves could barely look out after their own; they would have little to spare for Victor, as much as they had wanted to care for him.

She gave Victor a reassuring squeeze. He snapped his head up at her and returned her smile with a radiant one of his own. How could anyone be so cruel to a child? Jin had been warned extensively about the dangers of violence, and she herself abhorred violence, but if anyone tried to touch the poor boy she would have a hard time restraining herself. 

"No! Get away from here, whore!" a man yelled. 

Jin looked behind her and saw a woman cower away from the spice seller. She had long, messy brown hair and wore a ragged black dress underneath a dirty cloak. There was also something about her, a presence she could sense but could not exactly pinpoint, that attracted Jin to her. She opened her mouth but the seller yelled again, causing her to flee from the market place.

"Victor, what does 'whore' mean?"

The dark-skinned boy blushed and looked away. "It's a mean word to call a miss."

She frowned. Well, that wasn't nice. She didn't know the full story behind the altercation, but there had to be better ways of ending it. "How do you feel about doing a good deed today?"

"I'd like that."

They both went after woman, though neither had seen were exactly she had gone. However, something in her gut was telling her where to go, and soon enough she found the woman leaning against a wall looking despondent. 

"So, you found me," she said in a small voice.

She cocked her head to the side. "Was I supposed to look for you?"

"No, but it would've been nice to see a friendly face."

"What was that back then?" Jin asked, changing the topic. She wasn't very good asking clarifying questions.

"That man assumed I had come to his stall to steal. I tried to tell him I just wanted some spices, but he wouldn't have it. And to think that even now I would have trouble with people."

Jin looked down at Victor. "Think you can do this, Victor?"

He nodded vigorously. 

She smiled and looked back at the woman. "We'll get you your spices."

The woman visibly brightened, making her ashen face look a bit more pleasant. She moved her cloak out of the way and retrieved a pouch she had strapped in her belt. "Usually I wouldn't want to give such rude person my patronage, but I'm in terrible need of the following spices. Can either of you read?"

"I can." Though she was unsure if she knew what the word meant. Maybe Victor could give her definitions. 

"Great. The list is inside the pouch. I'll be here waiting for you."

Jin was about to leave when something suspicious stuck out to her. "You're just going to trust me with your money?"

The woman grinned, showing her slightly yellow teeth. "No, but I can easily find you, remember?"

No, she didn't remember, but frankly Jin wasn't in the mood to play a thousand questions. She also had to buy the things Valerie had asked her. "Oh, yes, of course," Jin lied. Then again, maybe the woman could sense her like Jin could sense her? She had the same feeling as she did when she was around Deshanna.

Oh, she was a mage.

Dumb. 

The duo went back to the marketplace and bought the mage and Valerie's requests in record time. By now, all of the sellers knew her by name, and though they were not fond of her, they didn't overcharge her like they did in the beginning. 

It hadn't been fun explaining to Valerie in the beginning why a small piece of pork had cost twenty gold coins.

And just like the mage had said, she as in the same spot they had left her. Jin handed back her money and the spices she had asked for. The mage jiggled the pouch, sensing for the weight and how many gold coins were left, and, satisfied with the purchase, gave Jin and Victor five gold coins each.

"Thank you both," she said with genuine gratitude. She leaned closer to Jin and whispered, "Us mages have to stick together. I don't know from what Circle you escaped from, but we're sisters in arms. If there is anything you need, come find me. I live in the west side, by the alienage. You'll know what house is mine." Jin smiled back at her and nodded. The mage looked at Victor next. "And you, young man, make sure to take care of..."

"Jean!" he yelled happily. 

"Make sure to take care of Jean," she repeated. "My name is Lydia, and I'm friends with lots of elves. Should anyone try to do anything to you, just run to the alienage ask for Lydia, okay?"

Victor nodded. "Okay, thank you, Miss Lydia."

She giggled. "What a well-mannered boy you have here. It was a pleasure to meet you both. I should be on my way. May we meet again."

"Good-bye!" Victor waved energetically, and Jin mimicked him.

Once she was gone to elf looked up at her and asked, "Did you understand most of the conversation?"

"There were a couple of words that I made me confused, but I think I understood most of it."

"She was nice, wasn't she? She also lives near us! I want to go see her!"

Jin smiled at Victor. Meeting another nice human had left a very positive impact on the boy, but she was uncomfortable with letting him go see her by himself. A young elf boy being by himself so close to the alienage wasn't very safe. Elves were safe far away from the alienage or very inside it, but the in between was risky. "We'll see if we can stop by another time. Let's go back home and get this to Valerie."

"Okay."

* * *

Valerie stared at her with some doubt. "Are you sure you can handle the kids?"

Jin nodded. "You and Flora do what needs to be done."

The blonde finished braiding her hair. Instead of wearing trousers and a shirt, she wore the best dress she owned underneath her large wool coat. She and Flora were heading to some of the upper houses to find Flora some work. The girl was approaching adulthood, and once she did, she would have to leave the orphanage and start her new life as a maid or kitchen worker for some rich family. 

Adulthood was one way of putting it, though. The girl was barely thirteen. 

But still, she couldn't do anything to stop it. Besides, Flora seemed content to be going through the process of looking for work and earning money. She wasn't going to get in the way of her freedom and independence. Tui and La know she's been searching for those two things herself.

Flora left their room also dressed as professionally as Valerie. Her thick black hair was also braided and fell on her back. Her posture was different, more erect, more afraid. 

She looked older than Jin in some ways.

"I'm ready."

Valerie appraised her ward slowly, then fixed a sleeve on the girl's dress that was longer on one side than the other. "Good, you look good. We should leave now so we can come back before it gets too dark. It's not safe lately."

Jin perked up at that. "Not safe?"

"I've been hearing some rumors, and they may be rumors, but I don't want to tempt fate. The Maker knows we must all do our best to protect ourselves."

The Maker. It was still weird for her hearing that name. Her world had a rather rocky relationship with deities, so hearing someone so open about her belief and trust in one still made her feel uncomfortable. But from what she had gathered about the Maker, belief in him was as normal as sunshine. She had to start peppering her speech with the Maker every once in a while simply to fit in better with Ansburg.

Flora headed out the door and called all the children that were playing in the snow outside. The kids marched back in, surprisingly somber and without giving the older girl any trouble. 

"Well, you all know the rules. Jean is in charge until we come back. I'm ordering you all to stay inside for the rest of the day because of this." She quieted all the groans and whines with one quick glare. "If I hear one complaint from Jean you will all wish you were leaving with Flora soon, okay?"

Jin cringed a bit but managed to hide it before any kids saw her. She didn't mean to undermine Valerie's authority in the orphanage, but hearing her talk so cruelly still made a part of her die. In her world, children are encouraged to act their age, considering they have so long to live. To try to force that out of them was... Well, just another thing to add to the list of differences between Thedas and Earth.

Everyone nodded and wished Flora good luck. As soon as Valerie closed the door, everyone turned to look at her with puppy eyes.

Jin raised her arms in surrender. "You heard Valerie. No going outside."

"But Jeaaaan," Pierre begged.

"We'll behave," Benny promised.

Jin scoffed. "You're the last one that should say that, Benny. Stay inside, keep yourselves warm."

Mandy blew a raspberry. "You can keep us warm with your fire magic."

She narrowed her eyes at her. "Mandy," she warned.

"No one is around!" she justified. "Besides, we've kept your secret for this long. You should play with us!"

"Hey, Mandy, that's not nice," Victor spoke up in that soft voice of his. "Jean trusts us, you shouldn't say that."

"Nobody asked you, knife-ear," she replied with a sneer.

Everyone in the room stiffened. Victor himself was in shock, and Jin had never seen him with such a look of betrayal. He was called such horrible words by people in the street, and now he was being called that inside his own home?

Unacceptable.

"Mandy, please apologize to Victor," she said very calmly.

For once, the brown-haired girl looked afraid. "W-Why? Everyone says it? Why can't I say it?"

She sighed and smiled sadly at her. "Just because everyone says it doesn't mean you should." She leaned down in front of both Victor and Mandy. She always found it easier to communicate with them when she got on their level. "Knife-ear is a really mean thing to say to an elf, Mandy. There are a lot of mean words out there, but that doesn't mean you should use them. Now, Victor and everyone here is the closest you'll find to siblings. You must protect each other and love each other. You've all grown up in the same circumstances, so it should be easier for everyone here to empathize."

Mandy stared at her with shame and guilt. She murmured an apology to Victor then fled to the room. The kids all started murmuring amongst each other.

"Should we do something?" Anna asked.

"I don't know," Ron said, staring longingly at his room.

"No, leave Mandy to her thoughts," Jin said. "Now, how about you all help me around in the kitchen?"

Carol snickered and shoved her elbow lightly in Robin's side. "If we want to eat lunch, we definitely should."

Jin tried to frown, but she couldn't keep down the smile. They all knew her so well.

They still had some of the meat they had bought five days ago, so there was their protein. Jin could cook some potatoes, meanwhile the rest of the children could prepare the stew. The warm winter months made everyone happy to get their stew, even if wasn't the most filling of foods. 

She couldn't deny the guilt she felt every time she ate meat, but the voice inside her head got smaller every day. Granted, this was because she hadn't talked to Yonsen, the Air Avatar, in a long time. He hadn't been raised in the Air Philosophy, but he still never ate meat. Karina, her predecessor, wouldn't understand her pain every time she bit into flesh. Every day was a betrayal of her morals for the sake of surviving, for her mission, and so far she had been able to take it in stride, but only because nobody from her world knew. 

The Eastern Air Temple monks would've come up with a way to avoid bloodshed. They always did. Violence was the easiest measure to resort to, but not the right one. She knew that, and yet she still ate animals. Drop a monk in her place and she knew there was no way they would've tasted flesh that came from an animal. 

"Jean!" a voice screamed.

There was a magical presence in the house.

She stiffened in alertness, her muscles becoming taut with adrenaline. That wasn't a normal yell of surprise or delight, she could knew those. No, this was fear, the type of fear ingrained deep inside of humans. 

Jin had felt it once, in another life, and she could recognize it anywhere. 

The living room was in complete disarray. All of the children were huddled in three different corners, their faces showing the same fear. In the middle was Victor, his face drawn in a tight grimace, utensils and wood floating around him in jerky motions. Mandy was in the middle, her face numb with shock. 

She stood there, unsure of what to do. She only had so much time to dissuade the situation before someone found out Victor was an unstable mage. She had to act swiftly, but she couldn't allow Victor to unintentionally harm any of the other children. 

The most dangerous things under his control right now were the pointy utensils. If those went flying off, they could easily stab someone with the power of his telekinetic blast. She metalbended the silverware out of his magical grasp, fighting with his magic over dominion. The metal answered far more easily to her chi, and she threw the utensils behind his line of sight, behind her. 

Now what remained was the table and chairs. That was still dangerous, but she could easily destroy it should he throw it somewhere. She would rather not; explaining to Valerie a destroyed house wasn't high on her list.

"Victor," Jin said clearly. "I need you to empty yourself of your emotions."

"W-Why?" he asked with a slight hiccup. "So everyone else can make fun of me again?"

"No, of course not. Victor, we're your family. You should never hurt your family."

The elf boy opened his eyes, his dark gaze trained on Mandy. "My family hurt me."

Such words from such a young soul. It really tore into Jin's heart, and she would definitely have a serious conversation with Mandy about Victor, but he couldn't let him harm anyone. 

The wood stopped its jerky motions and started levitating gently in a circle around him. The table levitated on top of Mandy and he flipped it upside down so that the top would slam right into her. Mandy's face was still empty, but she tear tracks down her cheeks. 

"You know that there is no way I would ever let you hurt Mandy," Jin said, much more calmly than what she actually felt. "If you do anything to her, it would actually be to me."

Victor just looked at Mandy with intense eyes before his face fell. He let out a sob and everything started falling to the floor as if their strings had been cut. Jin was diving for Mandy before she even realized it, taking the fall and cradling the girl to protect her. The girl clutched her yellow shirt with white knuckles, her face buried in Jin's chest. 

The elf's shoulders shook as he cried harder, his hands trying to contain the tears from falling. The rest of the children stared at them teary-eyes, clutching at each other for comfort.

Jin caressed Mandy's hair gently and picked her up by the knees and shoulders. Everyone's attention was on her now, and she could feel them beckoning her to say something,  _anything_ , to let them know it was going to be all right.

"Give me some time, all right? I'll... I'll figure something out, I promise. For now, let's keep Victor's secret like you've kept mine."

Alex stood up, fear etched into his face like a detailed painting. "But... Jean..."

"I know, believe me, I know." She looked at Victor, his head still looking down at the floor, still crying. "But we'll get through this. I did. Victor will, too."

* * *

Jin woke up the next day feeling more frustrated than she ever had. None of her spirit... friends? Helpers? Acquaintances? Argh, none of the spirits knew how to teach Victor how to control his magic. It was different with Jin because she was half-spirit, but Victor was an elf channeling the Fade with the help of his mana, as they called it. The only person that could teach Victor magic was another person from Thedas, but there was no way she was letting a Circle get to Victor, not with what the spirits had told her about mages in Thedas after Anders's attack.

So the only one left was her, who had some mastery over her powers because Deshanna had taught her, but she was nowhere near proficient enough to teach another person. Now she regretted not paying attention to Knowledge when it told her to learn how to wield her powers. At that time, it was just another thing she didn't have time for. If only she could yell at herself in the past to get her head out of her ass and  _learn_.

Well, it wouldn't have mattered, anyway. Magic behaved differently in the Fade than in the Waking World. From what Glory had told her, mages channeled the Fade through their mana to perform magic. When in the Fade it wasn't necessary to do this since they were already in that world. It was a bit like bending in that sense. Only Deshanna could teach her and though she was good at learning, she wouldn't call herself the best teacher. 

Ugh, finding analogies to bending wasn't going to fix her problem with Victor. Since yesterday he had become a ticking time bomb, and everyone around him could soon become a casualty. Besides, how long could she trust the children to help her keep his identity a secret? It was one thing to keep her secret, since she had her own powers under control, but Victor? The boy was as unpredictable as they came. 

If Valerie noticed something about the shift in mood in the house, she doesn't say anything. Maybe she has her own things to worry about and she isn't as perceptive at the moment. Though, how can she not notice the how much everyone avoids Victor? Even the boy tries to distance himself as far as he can from everyone else.

There was a note waiting for her on her spot on table next to a bag with gold. It was a list of supplies, ointments and food and some herbs. It was longer than most of what Valerie asked of her, and it would take her longer than usual. She couldn't shorten her training either so it would be a long day.

She grabbed the bag and tied her around her belt, then sat down and chowed down her food. The children gazed at her uncomfortably, not sure how to act around her. Even Lily, who idolized Jin, couldn't quite keep a conversation. 

That was fine, though. She knew she was asking a lot from them, keeping secrets from Valerie and Flora. She was surprised Anna hadn't said anything yet, considering she was Flora's puppy. The kids cared a lot about her, she knew that, but Victor was a different story. It would only take one of them getting mad at Victor for them to go divulge his secret to Valerie. 

The blonde would definitely turn her in to the Circle. She probably wasn't sure what was going on in the Ansburg Circle. Technically, none of them were supposed to. The only reason she knew was because the spirits had showed her their memories, and oh, how dark they were. She could feel how that world transformed them all day by day into hopelessness. 

She didn't want that life for Victor.

Jin abruptly got up and pushed her chair back in. Valerie peaked her head from the kitchen and asked, "Heading out?"

The Avatar nodded. "Yeah, I'll be back a bit late."

"Could you come here for a second before you leave?"

Oh, no.

Jin crept toward her, trying to not let her apprehension show. She's not supposed to feel wary over Valerie, a woman who took her in when no one else would, but here she was, acting like a criminal around her. 

Valerie was chopping a carrot when she came in. "I didn't want to tell the kids anything because they'll worry, but please don't come back too late," she whispered.

"Dangerous out?"

She nodded. "Fourth day now. Only victims have been women, from what I've heard. They've disappeared, and not a peep has been heard from them. Everyone is hush about it, but it can't stop the rumors."

Her heart softened at her concern. And here she had been preparing for the worst. "I'll be careful, don't worry."

"Please do. I don't know what the kids would do without you, Jean. I know it's barely been half a year, but it's honestly felt longer."

Jin chuckled softly. Yes, it felt much longer. Thankfully it was not. "I'm just glad I have somewhere to sleep for a while."

"I'm not sure what your mission is, why you came here one day not speaking a word of Common, but if you need somewhere to stay, I've already talked to my boss about hiring another full time worker. The city is getting bigger, and sadly so are the people that join the Maker before their due time. I could use some more help with these kids. You... They like you, a lot. You've got something special about you that they can sense. You're like them."

"Like them?"

"Yeah, you know, you understand them better than I ever could. You can even learn at their pace. Maker knows I didn't think you'd learn to communicate with us this much in such a short time. Honestly feels like magic."

"Ha, you didn't see me practicing every second I could, then."

"Maybe those Dalish aren't as savage as we've been led to believe," she commented, unapologetic about her rude words. "Still, I tell you this because I know you can be like them. I know you look after the small ones. You want to be their hero. Don't, not this time. Stay out of trouble. Remember you have people waiting for you back home."

"What makes you think I would be involved in this?"

"I don't. But just a precaution. Maker knows you always need to be cautious in my line of work."

Jin hummed. "I... Um... Thanks, Valerie. For your kind words. I promise to look after myself. And, hey, maybe those city guards will put our tax money to good use and find whoever it is that's doing this before I get tangled up in this."

Valerie glared at her. "Don't joke about that."

Jin breathed a small laugh and held her hands up in mock surrender. "All right, all right, no joking about that. I better head out now."

"Stay safe."

She was in autopilot for most of the day. She found a way to empty her brain of all of her problems. She even managed to push back the inevitable departure from the orphanage to the back of her head. Somehow, she had been able to forget that her current living arrangement was temporary. She had a mission, and a bit more than a decade to achieve it, thirteen years, actually. Sure, it wasn't tomorrow, or the day after that, or even the week after, but those months would start piling up. For now she was getting on her feet, trying to learn how to survive in a hostile world, and she needed the crutch daily life offered her. Soon she would start paying one of the stable boys to teach her how to ride a horse and then leave to try to find out more about this world, to find a cure for the Blight and tear down the Veil in a peaceful way.

Glory and Knowledge liked to remind her that her goals were close to impossible, but Duty thought she had a chance. She agreed with Duty. 

The sun was on its way to setting when she finished all of her errands. Her stomach growled and she felt her bladder cry for relief. Her world had many advancements, but getting rid of the need to do their business wasn't one of them. She entered one of the latrines near their orphanage only to stop when she heard the cries of a girl. 

Her heart stopped beating. Was this one of the victims from the attacks? Jin placed her purchases gently on the ground and crept closer, readying her body for any sudden movements.

When she got closer to the holes she almost let a sigh of relief when she saw Flora. "Oh, Flora, you scared me! What's wrong?"

"I-It's n-nothing," the girl hiccuped. Frosty breaths were coming out of her in quick succession.

She breathed in deeply before heading closer. She had never gotten used to the stench. "Did anyone hurt you?"

"N-no." Flora held a bloody rag close to her. "Nobody h-hurt me."

Jin leaned down and observed the cloth, which was actually her underwear. Why was it bloody? "What happened?"

"I... I have to tell Valerie," Flora whispered. "I'll have to leave soon. I'm a w-woman now. I can't s-stay with the children."

A woman? "Flora, you're still very much a girl."

She shook her head and clutched her underwear tighter. "J-Jean, I thought you would understand! I'm... I-I can't stay."

Jin placed her hands gently on her shoulders and squeezed. "We'll talk to Valerie together. I'm sure she'll say you can stay. You don't even have a job yet, you'll be fine. Now, I left my bags in the snow path by the entrance. Wait for me there and then we'll head out together."

Flora nodded and hastily put her underwear back underneath her skirt. She waited anxiously while Jin relieved herself, tapping her foot and looking around to see if anyone was nearby. Besides two women and a man, nobody knew what had happened to her. Flora was safe from their judgements for now.

The black-haired woman stepped out from the wooden doors with a gentle smile. Jin took the bags from her and led them back home. She asked Flora about her day, hoping to distract her from the impending conversation, but she couldn't get more than three-word sentences out of her. 

More guards patrolled the streets. They seemed more anxious, their hands never straying too far from their left hips where they kept their swords. Ansburg was in a state of alert, but their Baron hadn't made a comment about it yet. Then again, none of the attacks had targeted the nobility, so there was no reason for them to get involved yet.

Typical nobility. Jin found it hard to find positives about their existence.

Flora stopped before the orphanage, staring at the door as if it were her biggest enemy yet. Jin pushed the door open and waved Flora inside. There had to be a way for her to know that this was still her home, and nobody had taken it from her. 

Some of the kids were playing in the living room/dining table, while others were holed up in their room, laughing about something. Valerie stepped outside from the kitchen to welcome them both. She always did that. No matter how long or how late they were out, she always greeted them with a smile.

"Valerie, there's something Flora wants to talk to you about."

The blonde woman nodded and beckoned them both to the kitchen, the only private place in the house. Jin set the bag of supplies in one of the cutting tables and leaned against the door frame, acting as look out. No need for any curious rascals to get in here.

"Well, Flora?"

"I... I got my menstruation, Miss Valerie."

Valerie blinked in surprise. "Oh... Well, Flora, you know how it is, dear girl. You must leave the orphanage soon."

Flora nodded slowly, defeated, but Jin couldn't stop gaping at her coworker. She had just done the very thing Jin had told Flora Valerie would never do. How could she kick someone like that when they were already feeling bad?

"Wait, Valerie, you can't do that. She's just a kid."

"A woman, Jean. You should know too. It's time for her to leave."

No, she didn't know that when one bled out of their vaginas they became a woman. In fact, she had never heard of anyone bleeding. Menstruation was something one read in old diaries and old physiology books. It was part of the old world, a crueler world.

One that Thedas apparently fit into.

"She is  _thirteen_." The age still boggled her mind. At thirteen, she had been blissfully playing with other children her age in the White Lotus compound of the Eastern Air Temple. At thirteen, she was a  _child._ Physiologically, she looked younger than Lily back then, and her physical age had matched her mental age and that had been fine because growing up before due time was  _hard_.

"A  _woman,_ Jean. Now, I'm not sure where you came from, I've never asked out of respect, but you must respect the rules of this house. Flora knows her way around the kitchen and knows how to clean and is obedient. I  _raised_ her like that. If you think this is any easier for me than it is for you, then you're very wrong."

"You sure are making it hard for me to believe," Jin replied quietly.

She shook her head. No, this was too much. The amount of negative emotions she was feeling was getting to her. Jin was unsure if she could even name them all? Anger? Yes, it's there. Betrayal? A bit. Fear? For Flora, sure. Disappointment? Oh, there's a lot of that. She had never felt so much before in such little time. This was place was too  _real_ and she didn't like it.

"I need some time," she said.

"Jean, what about dinner?" Flora asked, her voice small.

She was at the door when Valerie called out, "Don't come back too late! It's dangerous!"

Jin huffed. "I can defend myself from you people," she muttered under her breath.

Now that she was out, she couldn't think of a place to go. This whole damned city was too small for her comfort, too backwards. It wasn't floating in the air. It didn't have indoor plumbing. It didn't have mecha. It didn't have movers. It didn't have free food. It didn't have free clothes. It didn't have virtual reality. It didn't have flymobiles. People were rude and mean, but also capable of so much good it honestly made Jin's mind hurt from the contradiction.

Aruk, her counterpart, the Host of Vaatu, had reminded her every day to not judge the people she encountered in this world. The scenarios were different. The way their world worked was different. For the past six months she had been able to stick true to this philosophy, focusing on the good things of this world rather than the bad. On the nice encounters rather than the rude ones. On the people that hadn't judged her for being so foreign rather than the ones that still took an extra step to avoid her. 

But Valerie had meant safety. She wasn't like everyone else. She was kind and understanding and  _good_. So why was she sending a kid out to fend for herself in this harsh world? Jin was over two hundred years old and she still felt trepidation about the people here, and she was the Avatar, the most powerful human to exist on Earth. What would Flora do?

The bathhouse came into view and Jin strode inside. Moonlight from Satina and Lunaria streamed from one of the few windows, providing the only source of light. Two full moons tonight. The power of her waterbending had doubled in Thedas due to the two moons. She wondered if the moons had spirits like they did in her world, and what their relationship was to the Spirit of the Ocean. Every Avatar worth their knowledge knew that Tui and La were inseparable, so maybe the twin moons and the ocean were too. 

She sat down in a meditation pose near the water and closed her eyes. Jin hadn't left her body and traveled in her astral form in a long time. Traveling as a spirit was different here than on Earth. Every fiber of her being was made out of magic. It was still the same sensation, same weightlessness that came from this old airbending technique, but everything was different. She wondered if she could still perform magic in that form, but she had controlled her curiosity. There was too much at stake and the risk was too high.

No, no traveling in astral form tonight. Even if she could defend herself against anything Thedas threw at her, leaving her body defenseless in a time like this was stupid. That meant no communing with the past Avatars, either. Not that she would've done it either way. She hadn't sought any of them out ever since she arrived to Thedas, and she would like to keep it like that for a bit longer. Jin knew they were playing a waiting game, trying to see how long she could pretend she didn't need their guidance, and she knew she was going to lose, but now was not that time for such conversations.

"Sometimes life doesn't give you what you want, but what you need," a gentle voice said.

Jin stiffened and opened her eyes slowly, dreading what she was going to see. Much to her horror, she was here, in Karina's pocket of space. As the Water Avatar, she had always gravitated towards large bodies of water, even if she had neglected bending for the majority of her time. The sand on the beach was soft and more white than yellow. The water was almost translucent and she could see different species of fish swimming around.

She stood up and dusted herself off the imaginary sand. "I was hoping you wouldn't be able to understand me anymore, now that I speak some ancient dead language from this world," she said before turning around to face Karina.

The dark-skinned woman laughed. She had more Water Tribe in her than almost all past Water Avatars combined. All the races of the world had been mixed so finding someone that looked like those of the old was a surprise. Karina had light brown hair that fell past her chest and warm gray eyes. She was dressed in a simple tight white shirt with a water logo on her right arm and black pants with wavy stripes at the sides. She was barefoot, her feet digging deeply into the sand she had always loved.

She looked exactly like before she had died, radiant and happy and young.

"Magic was the last thing I expected to find in this world, as well," Karina said. "But yet, here we are. I'm made out of magic now, and so is a large part of you. We must learn to adapt if this will be our new home."

Jin grimaced. "New home... You must've seen some of my struggles by now."

"You have a daunting task, but you have the combined power of all of us at your disposal to achieve it."

"I don't need power, though. I wish I could just fight the Blight or Veil away, it would've been much easier."

Karina's smile disappeared. "I know. But you won't find the answers you seek in this place, Jin. You must leave soon."

"It's hard, though. I... I am attached to the people here, their problems. I want to help! Nobody has ever needed me as much as they need me now. Victor, Valerie, Flora, the kids... They all rely on me and it's so new and I  _like_ it. I'm leaving, and I'm leaving soon, don't worry, I just don't want to leave things as they are. I feel obligated, somehow."

Karina took Jin into her chest and cradled the back of her head. "I'll never understand why Aruk let you go. You're just a child."

Jin frowned and pushed back against her embrace. "I'm not a child," she groused. 

"Maybe you don't look like the little ones you care for, but you're still not fully an adult, Jin. This world is harsh, and you've only experienced luxury. We all have, I'll admit. But Aruk was more emotionally equipped to handle this. You should've stayed back and you still would've had an important role organizing the migration."

No negative emotions, no negative emotions, no negative emotions. "Maybe you're right, but it's too late now. I'm here and Aruk is back on Earth. Anyway, I'm not sure why I unconsciously came here, but I think it's time I head back."

"Are you sure? I thought you came here to ask for my advice."

She probably had, but she couldn't really stand it when Karina got overprotective. "It's fine. I'll figure something out."

Karina didn't seem convinced, but she just sighed and nodded rather weakly. "As you wish. I'll always be here for you, Jin."

Jin smiled. "Thank you. I know."

She left Karina's space, dissolving the magic with ease. At least that was still simple. Communing with past Avatars had always come easily to her, and that hadn't changed.

When she opened her eyes she was back in the bathhouse, still in her mediation pose. She got up, stretched, and left the place, feeling strangely refreshed. Though she still had no idea what to do, talking to Karina had made her feel better. She hadn't judged like she thought she would've. She had just felt bad for her, which strangely made her angry, but she would take that over admonishments any day.

She was almost at the orphanage when she noticed Flora leaving the house and heading west. Jin is about to call for her to wait, but there is something wrong about her movements. They seem mecha-like, as if something is controlling her. She could snap her out of whatever is going on or see where she's heading and figure out what is happening. It is very late, and very unlike Flora to sneak out. Something important must've happened.

Flora led her near the alienage and stops in front of an old, decrepit house. She confidently entered the house, unfazed that she was breaking in a stranger's home, and closed the door softly behind her.

Jin waited for a couple of seconds before getting closer. She could feel a strange, powerful magic at work in there, and some part of her body was screaming danger. It also smelled weird near the house. Not exactly bad, but there was a very strong smell, almost as if someone was cooking.

She opened the door and almost gagged when she took in her first breath. She looked around and stiffened when she saw three corpses in a corner. The house was completely empty, almost abandoned, but obviously there was someone at work here. Goosebumps appeared on her body and she shivered as she crept closer to the bodies. She had never seen death so close before. This was... This wasn't good.

The three bodies belonged to women of different ages and sizes. Their eyes were open, unseeing, and their expressions blank, as if they hadn't felt any pain. Jin's hands shook as she searched them for any wounds and fell on her knees when she saw the open cuts on her wrists, darkened with dried blood. 

Her sensitive hearing picked up something coming below them, and it was then that she remembered why she came here in the first place.

"Flora," she whispered.

She scrambled up and tried to find out where the girl had disappeared to. Jin knew the floor was hollow and there was something below her, but where was the staircase? Though her eyesight was good, the room was almost pitch black and she couldn't see anything. 

No time to find out. She was the Avatar for the reason. 

Jin breathed in deeply and punched a hole in the floor. The decrepit wood easily gave in under her enhanced strength, falling a couple of feet down. She removed her shoes and jumped into the hole, immediately gaining "eyesight" with her seismic sense. 

The stench got worse and Jin felt bile rising in her throat. The cadavers were lumped in the lower right corner of the basement, their rot invading her nostrils. There were five people standing up in the room, three lined up a bit ahead of her and a mage holding a girl the size of Flora with a rather sharp knife behind a table.

"Whoever you are, let Flora go," she said in a low tone.

The mage that held the knife stiffened and lowered it. "I'm surprised to hear this voice. Jean, was it?"

Jin felt cold. "You..."

"I thought I said us mages had to stick together."

"Not like this! What have you done?"

"Practicing my magic, of course. What Circle did you come from that you can't recognize the signs after you see them?"

"Let Flora go," she growled. 

"How do you know I'm holding on to her?"

Because she could sense it. Her earthbending was top shape. She knew where everyone was even if it was pitch black. "I just know. Now let her go."

Lydia did, though Flora didn't seem to move away. In fact, she remained frozen in her spot.

"There, I let her go. Unfortunately, it seems I can't let  _you_ go."

Jin sensed Lydia getting ready to throw her knife at her, but she easily metalbended it out of her grasp. Jin caught the knife and clenched it with her right hand. "W-What is this?"

"The bigger question is what are you  _doing_? Have you no shame?"

"I'm taking advantage of the increased security around the Circle to gain strength and break them out. I thought that was your mission too."

"By killing people?"

"These people have no love for us mages. They would see you behind a locked door at the mercy of templars if they could. Or have you forgotten how life in the Circle felt?"

"You're a murderer," Jin said with a wobbly voice. "You give mages a bad name."

Lydia sighed. "Look, sooner or later, the templars will come for us, unless you somehow destroyed your phylactery. They'll invoke the Rite of Annulment in all of the Circles and there we all go, mages of all ages and genders and races. I'm trying to save  _us_."

"I still fail to understand how this involves killing innocent women."

"Are you stupid? I'm a blood mage. I'm amassing enough blood to lead an assault on the Circle and free the mages. From my numerous experiments, I've found that menstrual blood gives more magical energy than regular blood, and I'm trying to collect it before these women die."

Jin scrunched her nose in disgust. "You... You treat life as if it isn't precious. They are  _people_. Find another way to free the mages."

"It's too late now. My concoction will fade away and eventually my neighbors will smell the stench of decay. I promise these will be my last victims. You can take your girl if you want."

"No!" She jumped in surprise at her own yell. She had never yelled in her life. There had never been any reason to, but this was just from a nightmare. How could people like this exist? "You'll leave them all alone and turn yourself in to the authorities."

"What? So they can kill me?"

Would people really kill her? Jin shook her head. Now was not that time. "You'll go through trial. The people will decide your punishment, and will be in charge of your rehabilitation."

"Which is death," Lydia said in a deadpan. "I'm starting to believe you're a bigger idiot than what I thought, I don't know what fantasy world you grew up in were mages aren't killed any chance they can get."

"You're not a good person, but you don't deserve death.  _Nobody_ does. I'll see what I can do to convince them otherwise."

"That's nice, but words won't work, Jean. I appreciate your sentiment, I really do. I wish I could be as innocent as you, but not today. I promise it won't hurt."

Lydia went for something in her belt which glowed in an eerie red light. She sent numerous icicles towards her, which she dodged easily, but Jin didn't know how long she could go before the women were hurt.

"I'm sorry, Master Toko," she whispered.

She drew on the power of the twin moons and bloodbended Lydia to stand still. She let out a strangled cry of shock and whatever magic she had over her victims disappeared. 

The quiet of the night was broken by their screams. They ran around the room, trying to find a way out, and grew even more rattled when they couldn't find a staircase. Flora stood still right next to Lydia, as if she was still under her control.

"Everyone, get out of here!" she yelled. "Go get someone. Tell them a blood mage is here."

They stopped yelling in fright, but simply froze.

"Y-You fool!" Lydia croaked. "T-T-They'll just––"

"Now!" she yelled again.

They nodded frantically and started running towards a hidden staircase by the altar, avoiding looking at Lydia who stood a couple of feet away.

"Hey! You!"

The woman at the base of the stairs stopped and turned her head towards her.

"Can you please take the girl with you? She's in shock. Also, can you please tell her to pack my things and Victor's? She'll understand."

"B-But, she's there!" she cried out.

Jin tightened her hold on Lydia, which made her cry out. "See, it's fine, she won't hurt you. I got it. So please, take Flora with you."

The woman inched closer to Flora, avoiding Lydia with all of her mind, then, once she had her hand, bolted out of the basement, Flora in tow. 

Lydia tried to fight Jin's hold, but her power under two full moons was absolute. 

"This... This isn't blood magic," Lydia growled. 

"No, it isn't."

"Who are you?"

"Nobody of consequence. Now, stay quiet."

Lydia groaned a laugh. "They'll just kill us and ask questions later. Even if we manage to fight them off, there's no way we'll be able to run away."

Someone slammed the house door open, and many armored men started streaming in. 

"Find the mages!" one of them yelled.

Her heart started beating faster. She couldn't fight the men without seriously injuring them. She would have to run away now.

Lydia gasped when Jin let her go. The younger woman disappeared from the hole she had come from with a stream of air powerful enough to slam her against the wall. 

The guards yelled at the appearance of the Avatar who came from seemingly nowhere.

"Smite her! Silence her! Attack her!"

The darkness benefited her, but eventually one of the six men was going to land a hit on her. She metalbended the men in place, their heavy armor freezing them where they stood, and threw away their swords around the house. She could've achieved the same effect with bloodbending, but she felt dirtier about using it.

Jin ran through the men, the power of her airbending pushing them farther into the walls of the room. Once outside, she ran as fast as her body and airbending permitted her towards the orphanage. Flora was inside their room, packing her stuff quietly just as she had told her to by the candlelight. Thankfully, no one was awake from the commotion. 

"What... What is going on, Jean?" she whispered when she saw her by the doorway. "You're a mage?"

"Yes, and I need to leave now with Victor."

"Why Victor?"

"He's also a mage. I'll find a way to teach him, but I can't let a Circle get a hold of him."

"Why not?"

How to explain all the memories Knowledge and Glory had showed her throughout the months? How could she make Flora understand that the Circle wasn't the place for any mage to be at the moment?

Flora handed Jin her backpack. Inside were her and Victor's clothes, some chopped vegetables, and her coin purse. It wasn't enough to last a day, but Jin appreciated her thoughtfulness. 

Jin placed a hand against Flora's cheek. "You'll be fine, I promise. Valerie will look after you, I know she will." 

"Are you never coming back?"

"Not for a while, at least. I'll be back, don't worry, and I'll repay all the kindnesses this orphanage has given me."

"N-no need. I was glad to have met you," she whispered back.

Jin kissed Flora's temple and ruffled her hair. "Now be a good girl and go back to bed. No use in attracting more attention here. If anyone asks, tell them I had an emergency and had to leave with Victor. Tell everyone I love them. And... look after Lily for me, please. She..."

"She won't take it well, I know."

"Thank you."

Victor stirred slightly when Jin picked him up, but didn't wake. He shivered and snuggled deeper into his blankets, letting out puffs of cold breath.

"Jean, wait, before you leave."

Flora opened one of the drawers and took out a long, black, hooded cloak. "I was making this for Miss Valerie, but you'll need it more. It should protect you from the cold." The girl put it on Jin and Victor's body and clasped it by her neck.

Jin didn't really need warm clothes to protect herself against the cold, but Victor would. The months of Wintermarch were unforgiving, and though she was more than capable of keeping Victor warm, she would take all the help she could get.

"This is great, Flora. I appreciate it."

"I... Thank you, Jean, for today."

"Please. It was my duty. Now, go back to bed."

Flora got back under the covers, but didn't fall asleep until long after she was gone. It was weird... It was weird to think that she would never see her again.

Jin snuck around the streets of Lower Ansburg, using alleyways to hide from the fires of the city guards. They were looking for two mages, so she would guess that Lydia had managed to get away as well. There was no doubt she would go for revenge. Luckily, it was not easy for mages to track mages, or else templars would use them instead of just phylacteries. Magical presences weren't like beacons in the night. They were more like a little nudge that only happened once they were sufficiently close.

As long as she couldn't sense Lydia, Lydia couldn't sense her.

The city gates were heavily guarded with a mixture of templars and city soldiers, both on the ground and on the top of the walls. She could've easily outrun and outmaneuvered them if she were by herself, but carrying Victor made things harder. She could bend with just her mind, but this called for more intense and concentrated power than mental bending could afford.

There was a weak spot in the eastern wall of the city. Most of the security was congregated around the gates, naturally, but these parts only had one guard patrolling large stretches of the wall. Jin easily jumped thirty feet into one of the corridors, her landing quiet with the help of her airbending, The guard kept walking, unknowing to her presence. She jumped back down into the ground and started surfing through the snow with the help of her waterbending.

She reached the edge of the dead forest in ten minutes, faster than a horse at this time of the year. Victor was still blissfully asleep in her arms and was now clutching her tightly. 

" _You poor boy,_ " she whispered in Elvhen, the language that came to her most easily. " _I didn't mean for this to happen to you._ "

She heard a step on the snow, a couple of feet from where she was.

"Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you where you stand, shem."

" _Oh, thank you! I... I completely forget you were here._ "

The Dalish elves started murmuring amongst each other.

"Stop this. It's Jean, you should all know this by now." Mahanon stepped into her field of vision, the moonlight reflecting his dark-skin and silver vallaslin. "What are you doing this late at night? You scared my team half to death."

"I... Something happened. Something bad."

* * *

Victor huddled close to the fire, trying to keep warm in this cold Wintermarch night. All of the elves were sitting in long logs and staring at Jean warily, and he didn't like it. These elves were different than the ones that lived in the alienage, more proud, more confident, more wild. 

However, the true focus of the evening was on Deshanna and the hahren of the clan, Doshiel. Jean had explained the events of the evening, and Victor was glad he had been asleep for most of it. Everything had sounded creepy, from the blood mage to Jean sneaking around Ansburg trying to find a way to escape without Lydia or the guards finding her.

"Dumb, foolish humans," Deshanna muttered darkly from her spot on the log, next to Doshiel.

"They'll come for you, Istimaethoriel," Doshiel said. "Those templars dislike leaving any mages in the wild."

The white-haired woman nodded. "We leave at dawn, then."

The elves murmured their agreement. They were a larger clan than what Victor had thought, thirty-one in total counting the children. All this time when humans spoke of their Dalish neighbors he had thought them small and savage, and he had been grateful to live with the humans. Now, he didn't know so much. Everyone seemed nice so far, even if they didn't trust them.

"I would ask all of you a favor, then," Jean said, moving to sit on the ground in front next to Victor.

"You already owe me two personal debts, child," Deshanna said, not unkindly.

She nodded. "I know, but I would still ask it of Clan Lavellan. Victor is a mage, but I couldn't leave him to the cruelty of the Ansburg Circle at the moment. I would ask of you to teach me like you have taught me, and to take him in like your own."

Victor thought the elves would deny her outright, but everyone was strangely silent. Doshiel had a surprised look on his face, but no signs of refusal. Even Deshanna seemed to be considering the offer.

"We lack a First," Doshiel said. "It will be a while before the next Arlathvhen, and none of us are with child."

"I know," Deshanna replied. "He is young, not set in the ways of the flat-ears. It wouldn't take too long for him to get used to our way of life. Victor is a shem name, however. He would have to give it up if he wants to belong to Clan Lavellan."

Jean looked at him, her green eyes pleading. "Are you ready to do that?"

He wasn't sure. He liked his name. Valerie had told him his mother had given it to him before she died. It was his grandfather's name, and he had grown attached to it in the six years he had lived. But... Jean had never looked at him like that before. It must be important for her.

Victor nodded slowly. "I-I think so. But... what about you, Jean? You're gonna stay, right?"

"I'm sorry, Victor, I really am, but––"

"She'll have to pull her own weight," Deshanna interrupted.

Now everyone in clan started arguing, each one having their own reason to either let or not let Jean in. The elf that had brought them in, Mahanon, was very for letting Jean in, but there were too many saying no, calling Jean a shem that would never fit in. 

"Quiet!" Doshiel yelled. The clan stopped talking as loudly, but Victor could still hear the murmured arguments here and there. "Istimaethoriel, you cannot be serious. Allowing an elf mage into the clan is one thing, but a  _shem?_  A _shem_ mage? No, I cannot allow that."

"This shem has been visiting us for almost four months now. Everyone knows her, and everyone knows she means us no harm. She even saved an elven boy from sure doom in these trying months for mages under the Chantry. Besides, we have room for one more mage before we start attracting demons, and she's half-Dalish."

"Not confirmed," Doshiel grouched.

"Oh, Misuin, what other explanation do you have for her broken Elven?"

"A shem who likes to pretend she's Dalish?"

Jean laughed, a true, sincere laugh Victor always heard whenever she played with them. "I promise I won't pretend to be Dalish."

"You won't be a true Lavellan," Deshanna said gravely.

"I know. I wouldn't want to take that away from any of you, anyway."

Though Victor could tell not everyone was happy with the events, the word from Deshanna and Doshiel was law in this place, and thus nobody complained. Mahanon got up from his spot on the log and crouched next to Jean. He placed a warm hand on her shoulder and murmured, "I'm glad you got in."

She grinned at him. "Thank you. Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Codex: Host
> 
> The Host is the counterpart of the Avatar, the vessel of Vaatu, Great Spirit of Chaos, Darkness, and Change. Though Vaatu's title has a negative connotation, everyone in the world knows that he is important to maintaining balance in the world. 
> 
> Like the Avatar, the Host learns all four elements in the order of the seasons and strives to become a fully realized Host capable of calling on the power of past Hosts. The Host's role is similar to the Avatar's, serving as an ambassador for spirit and humankind. Though they usually have differing opinions, they are usually each other's closest friends, though this has not always been the case. 
> 
> The current Host is Aruk, a five-hundred-year-old Water Host known for his wisdom and harsh temperament.


	5. Clan Lavellan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clan Lavellan has a new pariah they are unable, and some are unwilling, to get rid of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Jin gets a reality check on Thedas's harsh lifestyle. She comes across a blood mage named Lydia that forces her to leave Ansburg and join a group of nomadic elves to escape the templars.

Mahanon crept through the bush, careful to not rustle too many leaves, lest their prey run away. Though halla were his tribe’s life blood, deer were the nourishment that kept Clan Lavellan alive. All other animals were much too small to feed their rather large clan. It was unfortunate the mammal was extremely skittish, which made hunting with his pupils a bit of a problem.

  
Part of his job as leader of their group was teaching the next generation how to hunt. With the exception of mages, a Lavellan child could choose one of three roles: hunter, warrior, or gatherer. The warriors protected the clan and taught hunters and gatherers how to use weapons. Though they had never been attacked by anything larger than a small group of bandits, the Dalish still remembered times when warriors were the most respected jobs. The Master warrior was Ellana, a woman with impressive musculature who wielded a giant claymore as if it was just a wooden staff.

  
Gatherers searched for herbs and fruits as well as good places to lay down their aravels. The lead gatherer, Ashara, was also their head healer. She was an elderly woman with an impressive knowledge of herbs and their medicinal properties. Mahanon had heard rumors that she had been taught by a human apothecary, but this was hearsay, and had never been confirmed. Though it wasn’t shameful to learn from shemlen, the Dalish preferred to take pride in the history they kept and the knowledge they discovered by themselves. Still, no one could deny that Ashara’s skilled hands had saved them during the coldest months of winter, so even if she had been taught by a shem, no one was complaining.  
And then there was him, one of the youngest head hunters in a long time, or at least that’s what Deshanna told him (who coincidentally also was one of the youngest Keepers). His master, Ivun, had retired to become one of the village elders. Mahanon wished he’d stay a bit longer, but Ivun had been confident in Mahanon’s abilities to lead, even though he himself wasn’t. Still, at least Ivun was still alive and hadn’t been claimed by the winter, so he  still helped with the finer details.

  
Teaching kids how to hunt did wonders to his ego, however. Nothing like watching kids fail to improve his mood. They either scared their prey or missed the shot so horribly the arrow couldn’t be recovered. Perhaps the person who improved his self-esteem a bit too much was the current annoyance of the group: Jean. The poor girl looked absolutely awkward in their camouflaging garb of browns and greens. She held the bow with such a disgust that it almost offended Mahanon.

  
He had known Jean for almost eleven months now, if memory served him correctly. Though he had been wary of a human who spoke garbled elvish, he quickly found out that there was no reason to fear the girl. She was almost incapable of harming a living thing, much to his amusement and annoyance. This was their third hunting trip together and she still hadn’t even dared draw her bow fully. He couldn’t even blame her sheltered (unknown) upbringing, since she had adapted to their nomadic style much better than anyone had thought. She just seemed fundamentally against taking a life.

  
Which meant everyone else had to pick up her slack. Mahanon noticed Sileal had started giving her nasty looks ever since she was in his general line of sight. Even Elera, despite her eternal patience, had started to be snappish towards the half-elf.

  
As the oldest, it was his duty to make sure those three got along. Bad teamwork would spell disaster for this amateur hunting party. They had already trained with other, more experienced groups, so now was the time to build chemistry.

  
Mahanon made a sign with his hand to get their attention. He pointed at Sileal and ordered him to prepare to shoot the deer. He ordered Elera to get as close as she could get to the deer just in case the shot didn’t kill it. Jean was assigned to watch them work, and seemed content to be out of the action.

  
Sileal drew his bow just as Ellana had taught him and fired with high accuracy. The arrow lodged itself in the deer’s behind and the animal let out a squeal of pain, but did not die. It prepared an escape but Elera was nearby to land another blow. She ran towards the fallen body, muttered a quick prayer to Andruil, and slit the deer’s throat to end its suffering.

  
Elera stared at the kill with joy. “Wow. We… We finally did it,” she murmured in a raspy voice.

  
Sileal walked over to the fallen animal and retrieved his arrow a bit more harshly than Mahanon would have. He placed his bow and quiver next to the deer and started checking it to gauge how much meat it had. “You mean you and me finally did it,” he said loudly, his gaze directed at Jean. The young woman snapped to attention, but looked completely unperturbed by Sileal’s tone. “Someone over there just stared.”

  
The gray-haired elf stared elsewhere, uncomfortable with her partner’s rudeness, but not exactly willing to defend her teammate.

  
“Now, now, we all have different levels of experience. Or were you as good as you are now after two months of hunting?” Mahanon said in what he hoped was a sufficiently chiding tone.

  
“If I could just throw shards of ice wherever I wanted to, maybe I could be,” Sileal bit back.

  
Ah, there was the crux of the matter, the one thing both Sileal and Elera resented greatly. Jean was a mage, but since she had human blood in her, there was no way she could ever be considered to be Keeper. Deshanna still trained her and honed her magic, but she had been delegated to other roles in the clan. That didn’t mean she was prohibited from using magic, however; Jean simply chose not to use it. And this grated her teammates greatly. A mage hunter had been a Lavellan dream for a long time, but they were rather incapable of producing mages. Deshanna herself had come from another clan, and their newest First, Verlen, was an orphan from the Ansburg alienage. Unlike other clans that banished their fourth mage, Clan Lavellan allowed Thirds to either be part of the line of succession for Keeper, or fulfill another role. This had never happened before, until now.

  
Jean was their fabled mage hunter who refused to use magic. Mahanon dreamed about the combinations of attacks they could make, the strategies to prevent prey from fleeing, the detection off faraway game… All these things and more just with a mage in the group.

  
“You mean the ice that could go through you,” Jean pointed out tonelessly.

  
“Impale,” Mahanon supplied for her. Though she was frighteningly good at learning Common, she still missed a couple of words.

  
Jean turned towards him and nodded her thanks. “Impale, impale, impale,” she murmured to herself, feeling the word in her tongue.

  
“Then practice more!” Sileal exclaimed, his blue eyes enraged.

  
Elera placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t lose your temper.”

  
He roughly removed her hand and stepped away. “No, I’m saying it. You’ve heard what my mamae thinks of the shemlen. I came to this open-minded, but enough is enough. Keeper Deshanna is not always right like you may think.”

  
And with that he stormed off in the general direction of the camp, not bothering to take his weapons with him. Mahanon had half a mind to call after him, but decided it would be less work to not deal with the adolescent boy at the moment.

  
Elera stared rather helplessly at Jean. “He doesn’t mean it—”

  
Jean cut her off with an amused smile. “It’s okay, Elera. I know my choice to not use magic is weird.”

  
She stared helplessly at the older girl. “Why, though?”

Mahanon sent the girl a glare. “Elera.”

She at least had the decency to look ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

Surprisingly, Jean shot him a glare. “Mahanon, let her question. It’s fine.”

He shook his head. Elera had to know her limits, even if Jean was half-shem and thus less deserving of respect according to many Dalish. “Anyway, go after your teammate and give him his bow. And tell him if he leaves his bow again I’ll take it from him and force him to make a new one.”

Elera nodded enthusiastically and took off, the clatter of her daggers and Sileal’s weapons spooking all animals in a five mile radius. The hilt of a dagger glinted in the sunlight, showing a weapon Elera missed, one he would have to take.

“That went well,” Jean said with her trademark smile.

“They did finally kill an animal, yes. They might be some hope for them after all.”

Jean giggled. “Is that cockiness I hear? That’s a first.”

He blushed and frowned. “Am I not allowed to feel pride for my pupils?”

“Of course you are. You just don’t. Because you feel bad.”

“It’s unfortunate you get me so well.”

Jean leaned down and picked the deer with surprising ease with one arm. It wasn’t the first time she had done this, but it was still a novelty to see a female human lift things almost twice her weight as if it was nothing. Perhaps she unknowingly used magic to augment her strength?

“You’ve been my… What’s that word?”

“Guardian.”

“You’ve been my guardian for almost five months now.”

“Still, I’ve known some clan members for my entire life. You… You’ve just known me for barely a year.” Mahanon trailed off, not exactly sure how to explain his feelings.  Ever since he had been promoted to head hunter, his childhood friends treated him with a new sort of respect that got in the way of their old dynamics. Though he got more female attention now, he always wondered if it was because of his position or his personality. It truly was lonely on top. Jean, on the other hand, was just so easygoing compared to the other clan members and completely different to all shemlen he had met. She didn’t think she was superior to him because of the shape of his ears, for starters, and she couldn’t care less that he was head hunter.

When had he started referring to her as a clan member? Though she may carry elven blood in her veins, she still looked human. Though he didn’t feel disgust when he saw her like other clan members did, her appearance was a jarring reminder of how different they were.

She positioned her bow on one shoulder and hauled the carcass on top of the other one. “Besides being my friend, I know you well because you’re one of the few that let me.”

He cringed, embarrassment and guilt creeping into his heart. Here he was, complaining about how having a nice position in the clan got him responsibilities while the clan pariah was doing all of the hard work.

Mahanon was about to pick up the forgotten dagger when the weapon levitated towards him, held by forces he could never hope obtain. He looked at Jean questioningly; she never, ever used magic instead of doing things by hand.

She looked away and started heading back to the camp. “Maybe they’re right? Maybe I should start using it more often? Things are easier when I use it.”

He barked a laugh and jogged after her. “From what I’ve heard of you mages, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It’s honestly your choice. But if you don’t mind my asking, why don’t you?”

“I think it’s too much like cheating,” Jean answered, her head looking down to the ground. “And… And I don’t like how it different it feels from b— normal.”

Mahanon recalled how awkward he felt holding a claymore when Ellana tried to teach him. It was awkward and clunky and just not him. He felt one with his daggers even more than with his bow, though it was almost impossible to hunt with daggers. It had taken him less than five minutes to know the claymore wasn’t for him.

“That’s a perfectly valid reason,” he said with surprising gentleness. “Don’t let some young kids make you do something you don’t want to do.”

“What if I have to do it?”

“That’s another matter,” he agreed with a frown. “We have to do things when there are no other options. Protecting ourselves is one of those.”

“True…” she agreed, though she didn’t sound very convinced.

Mahanon decided to let the matter drop and they walked in companionable silence back to camp, with Jean carrying the game on one shoulder and Mahanon the weapons. He would’ve offered to help carry the deer, he really would’ve, but Jean enjoyed showing off her strength to the clan.

A group of five men were sitting around a small campfire, drinking ale, and laughing. They greeted both of them happily, eying the carcass with excitement. They were the meat preparation team, Mahanon’s future profession should he choose it. Those too old to go on any more hunts, but too young to be an elder, joined this group as an interim, unless they decided to switch and do something else. There were a couple of exceptions to this, like his master Ivun, who was too valuable to not have him as a hunter, even if he was only there for strategy.

Jean placed the deer gently by the fire and went off to do Jean things. He had almost convinced himself to follow her and find out what she was up to when a voice killed any thought of doing anything for the next few minutes.

It also sharpened his mind to tread lightly, because this person was dangerous.

“Mahanon! Back already! I thought you had taken my student for the whole weekend,” Ellana said with a smile. Ellana, who could hold a claymore with one hand. Ellana, who had biceps the size of mountains.

“We didn’t really go on a full hunt. This was more to see if they were ready. And let me guess, Sileal?”

“Yes, how did you know? Did he make a mistake?”

“No, actually he landed his mark. I just guessed he would be the one to miss most of his lessons.”

“Boys at that age are trouble,” she agreed with a sage nod.

“And women are trouble forever,” he quipped before he could stop himself.

The men around the campfire, the nosy assholes, quieted down, and though Mahanon’s focus was on Ellana, he could feel their wide-eyed stares. Everyone knew Ellana was the one person no man should ever mess with. Which was a bit ridiculous, if Mahanon was being honest. She was a very nice woman, and had never given any indications of being violent or mercurial. In the odd days she did get mad, she cooled down quicker than even he did.

Then again, Ellana was like peaceful bear. No matter how peaceful the bear was, it was still a bear; no matter how good-natured Ellana was, she was still Ellana.

She started laughing loudly, her extensive Elgar’nan vallaslin moving with the lines of her face. She patted his back gently, a friendly tap, that still sent him into a spasm. He truly hoped she hadn’t noticed, but he had always been unable to hide his fear.

“Mahanon! And here I had you pegged to be like the rest of the men.” She shot the meat team a knowing smile, and, caught for the eavesdroppers they were, got back to skinning the deer as if nothing had happened. She beckoned him to walk away from them and deeper into the campsite. “Why don’t we eat dinner tonight?”

He was about to readily agree, but then remembered the day of the week. “Um… I don’t think that’ll be possible. I’m joining—”

“You’re eating with Jean and Verlen tonight. If you want privacy, that’s all right, falon.”

He shook his head slightly and looked at her in confusion. “No, no, it’s not that. But I’m eating with Jean.” When she just stared at him blankly, he continued, “Does that not bother you?”

She snorted. “No, of course not. Jean is an amazing fighter and I greatly enjoy our spars.”

“She is?”

“Of course. Did she not tell you?”

He frowned slightly. “Now that I think about it, I never asked. She’s just… Not good with the bow. I thought it applied everywhere else.”

“You’ll find no person, elf or shem, better than her with a wooden staff, I assure you. Once the weapon gets sharp and metal, she falters. But, going back to our conversation, I care little about the shape of her ears, only her loyalty and ability to fight.”

“Ellana!”

They both turned towards the source of the shout, their Keeper, Deshanna. She was with Ashara, the head healer, who sported a worried look.

“Mind coming with us for a moment?”

Ellana gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry to cut the conversation short. Shall I see you tonight, then?”

Mahanon waved a short goodbye and left, but not before noticing the distress in Ashara’s face.

* * *

Deshanna tried to stop the cough and violent shiver that wracked her body, but failed miserably. The winter months had come and with them brought endless illnesses. It was a sad reality all Dalish lived every year. Away from human cities, they were more susceptible to the elements. Normally, Clan Lavellan settled near a city for these harsh months to guarantee food and adequate clothing and herbs, but the recent hunt their Chantry had adopted for mages made the clan fearful they would hunt for her and Verlen.

 

Ashara decided that was the moment to enter her aravel. She added more blankets to her already large pile and made her drink the hot medicine she had concocted. “I don’t like this cough, Keeper Deshanna. It sounds wet.”

“That’s like how most of the clan is sounding, Ashara. At least I’m young and can take it. Have there been any deaths today?”

“No, but I don’t like how Taralin is faring.”

“Taralin has lived a good and long and happy life.”

She grimaced. “Not long enough by his family and my standards.”

“You’ve lived more winters than most of the clan, Ashara. You’d have to be used to death by now.”

“Never, Keeper. That is something I never wish to get used to. I know your magic lets you be more in tune with the energies of the world, to the ebbs and flows of life and death, but all I see is death, and I would do anything to keep everyone away from it.”

Deshanna chuckled, which devolved into a cough, much to her annoyance. Ashara made her drink the medicine again, a bitter, nasty thing. “This is why you shouldn’t listen to me.”

“Verlen is starting to worry me, though,” Ashara admitted quietly.

She snapped to attention, her eyes narrowing. “He’s gotten worse?”

“Not nearly as bad as others, but this is his first true winter sickness, since those city colds don’t count. I think it might get worse, but I can’t really tell due to his pesky guardian always hovering.”

“Jean being overprotective?”

“No, she’s just in his aravel all the time.”

“Which happens to be hers, too,” Deshanna pointed out. “These rumors of you disliking Jean aren’t true, are they?”

“If she’s a patient, I’ll try as hard to keep her alive as the next clan member, but yes, I don’t enjoy a shem’s company.”

“You were taught by a shem.”

“Rumors,” she hissed. “I had a hard time starting in this clan because of such nasty rumors, and I would rather not feed more wood into the fire by appearing to be a shem-lover.”

Deshanna smiled sadly. Even Ashara, one of the most kindhearted people she knew, had a hard time showing the girl some acceptance. “How’s your daughter?”

“How much longer is the shem going to stay with us, Keeper? I don’t mean to undermine your leadership, but I don’t know how much more exposure to her presence our clan can take. She wouldn’t be such an offense if she could learn to pull her weight.”

“She’s a brilliant mage,” Deshanna noted. “She has learned more in a year and a half than so many others. The Fade clings to her like a second skin, and nature loves her almost like a child. We are in the presence of someone with the power for change, and you wouldn’t like someone like that to be in your debt?”

Ashara asked quietly, “Is that your plan? To rely on the goodwill of shemlen to help us when we need it?”

“I would do many things to keep this clan safe.”

“And what if she doesn’t?”

“Jean abandoned the life she knew to bring us Verlen and warn us of incoming templars. The girl may be useless to you, but she has a good heart.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” she muttered, her aged lines more prominent from her frown. “A shem with a heart seems impossible to find nowadays.”

“To answer your question, Jean and I have already spoken about her departure. She seems eager to leave, but she feels unprepared for the challenges of this world, and I’m inclined to agree. The world is harsh to a mage, no matter the race.”

Ashara made her drink more medicine, and for the first time Deshanna felt some strength back in her bones. Her magic helped protect her from nature’s dangers, but Ashara’s craft was unparalleled in this side of the Free Marches among the Dalish.

“Ellana is… Well, getting worse every day, but that is normal for her.”

“She still looks great.”

“And that’s the problem, she thinks that because she looks it, she’s fine. But she’s starting to cough more blood, and that’s something even she can’t ignore.”

“No luck with the antidote?”

Ashara shook her head. “Even if I managed to find the herbs to neutralize dragon’s blood, she would never take it. She relies on it too much.”

“Does she really? Dragon’s blood doesn’t give those muscles she has.”

“No, but it allows her to have them. You were still very young and new to the clan, so you probably don’t remember, but Ellana was a very sick and weak child. She has been working to attain the physique she has before drinking the blood, and only after she did was she able to grow those muscles to that monstrous size.”

Deshanna frowned and looked away from the worried mother. If only she had been a healer… Dragon’s blood had a magical nature. There were things only a mage would be able to see in Ellana that Ashara couldn’t. Maybe she wouldn’t be able to heal her, but she might be able to find out how to.

“Enough about my worries, however. I better go check on Verlen.”

The white-haired Keeper sat up, letting the blankets slide to her thighs. “I’ll come with you.”

“I strongly  recommend that you rest, Keeper.”

“What kind of a Keeper am I if I can’t check up on my First?”

Ashara sighed but relented. Deshanna knew she was stubborn with power, a deadly combination for her opponents, and, on rare cases, herself, since she knew she should gather strength but didn’t want to, and no one was going to stop her.

The two women passed by the aravels, sensitive to all of the coughs and sneezing. There were a lot, but not as many as she predicted. The more powerful Deshanna got, the more she would be able to protect her people from sickness. It was truly unlucky that she had gotten sick, rendering the whole clan unprotected.

The first thing she noticed when she stepped into Verlen’s aravel was the despondent Jean. Verlen was sleeping with a rag on his forehead, his face scrunched up in pain, an expression Jean matched almost perfectly.

Jean looked up and cocked her head to the side in confusion. “Keeper Deshanna! I didn’t sense you approaching. Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“If I couldn’t get her to rest, there’s no one who will, girl,” Ashara pointed out wryly.

“How’s Verlen?” she asked, choosing to ignore Ashara’s comment.

Jean frowned heavily. “I… I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“You humans don’t get sick in the city?” Ashara asked. She sat down across from Jean and started taking out herbs she kept in the bag around her waist.

“We doooo… we do,” she said, a bit unsure at first, but confident at the end. “Just not like this. When we came to you, the worst of winter had already passed. Verlen has never had to live through this.”

“Once his magic grows stronger, I’ll teach him how to resist sicknesses. I’m surprised you’re able to use it subconsciously, Jean. Using nature magic to protect people from nature itself is hard to master.” Though Deshanna couldn’t feel Jean casting nature magic, it was the only explanation she had for the girl not being sick surrounded by so many sick people.

Before the girl could reply, Verlen moaned softly and shifted in his sleep. Ashara finished grinding the herbs and asked for some hot water to mix the concoction with, which Deshanna easily summoned with the power of the Fade.

Ashara gently raised Verlen’s head up and opened his lips with the cup. The boy drank the liquid and coughed harshly, letting out another moan of discomfort. “Hush, boy, and drink,” Ashara demanded softly.

Verlen opened his eyes blearily and followed the old woman’s instructions. He drank the hot medicine in one go and shivered when he finished the liquid. “I-I’m c-c-cold, Jean.” The boy leaned back into the floor and drew the blankets tighter around him.

Jean summoned a fire rune underneath the boy with ease. Normally, this was unadvised, since the aravel could catch on fire, but Jean had a special control of the elements even Deshanna could only hope achieve one day.

Unhappy, Verlen took his arm from the warmth of the blanket and took Jean’s hand into his own. Satisfied, Verlen closed his eyes again and fell back into fitful sleep.

“You used magic,” Ashara pointed out.

“Verlen really needed it,” Jean whispered. She ran her thumb over his hand tenderly.

Deshanna frowned. “Now I really wish I had become a healer.”

“You can heal with magic?” she asked in amazement.

She nodded. “There’s little magic can’t do. Unfortunately, there’s only so much time in a lifetime, and not all of us are prodigy mages.”

“Do you know anyone who can teach me?”

Deshanna looked at her in shock. “Are you actually interested in magic, for once?”

“This is the first field of magic I hear about that doesn’t involve fighting.”

“Casting barriers and dispelling magic is not fighting.”

“If you’re using those spells it’s because you’re in a fight,” Jean pointed out.

She had to admit she was right. Not that she would admit it. “To answer your question, no, I don’t know anyone who could teach you right now.”  
Jean deflated.

Deshanna hesitated. She had been lying, of course. She knew of a way. Unconventional, and not one she herself would ever take, but Jean was weird and perhaps the only person who could pull it off. “I have heard of ways to learn from those on the other side of the Veil.”

“I thought spirits couldn’t teach magic.”

“They can’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t summon them to help you out.”

Jean stared at her in confusion. “Wasn’t that the first thing you told me I couldn’t do?”

“You can’t summon demons, no, but benevolent spirits that want to heal you are fine by me.” Jean had always been odd, but one of her weirdest quirks was her inability to distinguish between spirit or demon. Perhaps distinguish was the wrong word to use. She knew which one was which, but didn’t understand the dangers of demons compared to the spirits.

She had never seen an abomination, and Deshanna hoped she never did.

“So I just ask around for a spirit to help me out?”

She cringed. Ask spirits, ha! Going to sleep was a nerve-wracking experience for her. The woods were filled with old spirits and demons full of power that could walk circles around her day and night. To hear someone willingly go into this with nothing more than opening curiosity was jarring. Deshanna truly hoped she was making the right decision by mentioning this.

Deshanna had to admit that ever since Jean had joined their clan, the amount of spirits that haunted her dreams decreased. They probably haunted her dreams, her magical presence a fire in the Fade those moths couldn’t resist.

“I suppose you see no problem with that?”

“If I say that yes, it scares me?”

“No use in lying, Jean.”

Ashara sighed and shook her head. “You mages are weird. If you do manage to get one of those demons to switch sides and help us out, let me know. There are things magic can’t do that I can, especially when it comes to sicknesses such as this one. If you’re going to be a healer, better be a damned good one.”

Deshanna tried very hard not to do a double-take. Had… Had she heard right? Was Ashara considering taking Jean under her wing? The same Ashara that had just bashed her not even ten minutes ago?

The older woman scoffed at the shocked looks she received. “Would you stop looking at me like fish out of water? Now, whenever someone asks this girl where she learned how to be such an amazing healer, she’ll say a Dalish taught her. Ha! A Dalish teaching a shem. Now how’s that for a rumor?”

* * *

Jin leaned back against a tree’s bark and sighed, her forehead sweaty from her morning routine. Across from her, Ellana panted heavily, her wooden sword forgotten next to her sprawled body. Out of all the sparring partners Clan Lavellan offered, Ellana was the most powerful and challenging one. She was tall, taller than her, even, with bulging muscles that delivered the exact amount of strength one would expect from such a body. Her vallaslin, a tribute to the Elven Creator Elgar’nan, covered her entire face, almost as if she was always wearing war paint.

  
It was against Ellana that she had most trouble hiding her true strength. Ellana kindled a competitive spirit Jin had thought she had buried in her training to become a fully-realized Avatar, and this was dangerous. Jin was modestly fit, and everyone knew how much time she spent taking care of her body, but the amount of power she possessed wasn’t proportional to her physique. Ellana easily brought out a punch that shouldn’t be possible, durability that her body did not show, stamina that no one should possess. She attributed many of her body quirks to magic, like her inability to get sick and strength, but Deshanna wasn’t easily convinced, and was starting to suspect there was even more about her than she led on.

  
There was no way she would ever come close to the truth, however. An alien from a planet connected by a spiritual bridge to the Void of Thedas wasn’t anyone’s first guess to her origins. A moment definitely would come when she would have to admit her secrets, but Jin was enjoying the anonymity so much she couldn’t bring herself to sped the process up. Here, everyone treated her normally, maybe a little worse than usual, but this was understandable amongst the Dalish. Ellana never held back a punch, unafraid to hurt the Avatar’s body. Mahanon always teased her and put her in her spot, unafraid to hurt the Avatar’s feelings. Verlen was a little git sometimes, uncaring that he was being irreverent to a being older than humanity.

  
But she had to leave, and had to leave soon, no more excuses. At first she claimed she needed to learn the language, which was an acceptable reason. But then once that was done, she had to learn the history and culture of the peoples of Thedas. Fine, it would be useful when it came to negotiations to know who she was negotiating with. Then, with the Dalish, she had to learn the land and how to travel. Acceptable; traveling would definitely be involved in bringing down the Veil and defeating the Blight. Unfortunately for her, she had learned how to do this in the first six months living with Clan Lavellan. Then the chance to learn healing magic from spirits had opened up, and Ashara, one of the elves who disliked her the most, had offered to teach her how to use medicinal herbs, and how could she refuse?

  
She always held on the notion that the Dalish would kick her out the first chance they got, and she sure made it easy for them. She was useless in hunting, refused to use her magic, was automatically out of the line of succession for Keeper, kept to herself whenever she could, and they still had not told her to leave. Jin was unsure if they got off on the idea of having a human in their debt or the Lavellans were just that nice.

  
Ellana let out a short laugh and shot up, startling Jin. “Hey! Look at what I found!” The elf ripped a plant from the ground and showed it to her. “A royal elfroot!” She winked at Jin and gave her a feral smile. “I’ll take this as a sign Sylaise wants us to have some fun.”

  
“You know, your mother will kill us if she found out we didn’t bring her royal elfroot.”

  
“Only if she finds out.”

“We don’t even have a pipe!”

The elf shot her an incredulous look and took out a pipe from a pouch she carried in her belt. “Never go out without it.”

“Maybe Sylaise does want us to have fun,” Jin agreed with a sage voice. She knew who Sylaise was, but would bet three thousand firejays that she had never existed. “Why else would she place such a fine specimen next to us after a hard workout?”

“No one will notice we’re gone for the next couple of hours. Can you crush it without your materials, or do we need to go back to camp for them?”

“I’m a mage, Ellana.”

“Only when it’s convenient.”

“Ouch, but true. Right now it’s convenient.”

Ellana gave her the plant in mock solemnity, then returned to her sprawl on the floor. “Prepare the medicine, healer.”

Yes, she had to leave or else this clan was going to drive her to strip naked and admit she was one with nature. She couldn’t rely on them to kick her out, so it was up to her to leave.

  
The effects of the royal elfroot weren’t instantaneous, but when they hit, they hit hard. Paralyzing was the wrong word to use, since Jin could still move, but there was nothing that made her want to move. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on the situation, the effect wouldn’t last that long since her implant processed foreign chemicals faster than the normal human, especially if they affected her brain.

  
“Jean, if you could get a vallaslin, which one would it be?”

  
“Hmmm?” she hummed, then processed the question. Vallaslin… Hallaslin… Tattoo… “Sylaise makes the most sense, right? With the healer stuff and all?”

  
“You don’t believe in the Creators, do you?”

  
“No. Do you?”

  
Ellana let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure if they created anything, but I like what they stand for. That’s enough for me right now.”

  
“What made you choose Elgar’nan?”

  
“No one dares trifle with him, and his is the name people say when they want vengeance. When it was time for me to pick my vallaslin, those were the only things I cared about. I was an angry child,” she admitted with a sardonic smile. “Still am.”

  
“Angry or a child?”

  
“Both.”

  
“That what made you drink dragon’s blood?”

  
She hummed in agreement. “Only way I thought I would become strong.”

  
“So you saw a dragon and got its blood? Wouldn’t that take a lot of strength?”

  
“No, it was given to me by a band of Qunari in exchange for a favor. I’ve never seen a dragon, but I feel a strong pull towards it. Almost as if my blood sings to meet it.”

  
A song… Jin could hear music if she focused intensely, but the idea of focusing on anything was too much to ask of her at the moment.

“Do you like my mom?”

  
Jin glared at her companion slightly. “Gei, Ellana, I thought we  were relaxing, not talking about heavy things.”

  
“We are relaxed, that’s why I’m asking.”

  
She blew a raspberry and leaned farther into the tree trunk, the bark stabbing her back slightly. It seemed there was no way to escape these conversations. “I like Ashara. The better question is, does she like me?”

  
“More than she thinks she should,” Ellana admitted. “That’s good, very good, I just hope she realizes soon, so she’s not lonely when I’m gone.”

  
“You make it sound as if you’re going to die.”

  
“We’re all going to die, Jean.”

  
No, not her. She was in for a wild ride of immortality thanks to the immortal spirit she housed. “Fine, sounds like you’re going to die _sooner_.”

  
“Damn right I am. That dragon blood was never meant to be mixed with a weak body like mine, and I’m paying the price.” Upon noticing her pitying look, Ellana frowned heavily. “I would still do it in every lifetime.”

  
“We’re both looking for a way to neutralize the blood.”

  
“I know, and I wish you would stop. Nothing goo—”

  
“Shh!” Jin hissed, suddenly alert. Her sensitive hearing must’ve picked up the noise, but her drug-addled brain was too slow to process it. “Someone’s coming.”

  
“I’ve always wanted to fight under the influence of elfroot,” Ellana admitted loudly.

  
“Elfroot!” a male voice exclaimed. “By Mythal are you two idiots!”

  
Both women relaxed instantly. “It’s just Mahanon,” they said simultaneously.

  
The elf spluttered. “What do you mean, ‘It’s just Mahanon!’ I’m just as capable of telling Ashara as anyone else!”

  
Ellana grinned at him, making sure to show her canines. “Oh, really? You would tell on me, _Mahanon_?”

  
Jin let out a weak telekinetic pulse that made the grass sway a bit. “You would tell on _me_ , Mahanon?”

  
He glared at the elf. “As the oldest, I blame you for corrupting Jean. She used to be nice.”

  
“Still am!”

  
Mahanon shook his head and straightened his spine. “Anyway, you two better find a way to get rid of the effects of the elfroot. Deshanna wants to see us three.”

  
Jin shot up to attention. “What for?”

  
“News from the outside,” he explained grimly.

  
“Since when do we care about what happens outside?” Ellana asked in exasperation.

  
“When it can affect us, we care,” Mahanon replied, his patience visibly running thin. “Ellana, please. Let’s go.”

  
Jin, sensing a fight coming, stood and helped the sprawled elf up. Ellana dragged herself up, glared at the two of them, and stalked in the general direction of the camp, her moves sluggish. Mahanon and Jin followed closely behind her, noticing her sluggish movements with amusement.

  
“Deshanna will know you two smoked that elfroot,” Mahanon said, his disapproval obvious in his voice.

  
She blistered at his tone, her mind clearing even more from the elfroot. “How were we supposed to know today was going to be a special day?”

  
“You don’t. That’s why I never drink or smoke. You never know.”

  
“See, I understand that complaint for Ellana. She’s in charge of protecting us. And you’re head hunter. But I’m not even a Lavellan.”

  
“Maybe to our parents and their generation, no, you’ll never be a Lavellan, but we consider you one of us. You’re Ashara’s replacement. You’re basically Verlen’s guardian, our future Keeper!”

  
Jin’s heart constricted, and she felt the effects of the elfroot fade away immediately. “Ashara’s replacement is Harea,” she pointed out weakly. “Even if I were to stay, I would always be below her. And I’ve heard the whispers, Mahanon. My relationship with Verlen will end soon. A future Keeper cannot look up to a shem.”

  
“You don’t honestly believe that,” Mahanon replied in a harsh voice.

  
No, she didn’t, but it would make leaving easier.

  
Jin didn’t say anything back, unwilling to dig herself deeper into a hole, and Mahanon refused to speak on the topic further.

  
Ellana continued swaying towards the camp, but she got a hold of herself before anyone saw them.

  
Jin tried to ignore the whispers once they got back, but her hearing picked them all up. Some were wondering if it was finally time for her to be kicked out, while others thought something important had come up that required the help of such powerful members.

  
Only Deshanna would know.

  
Mahanon entered Deshanna’s aravel first, followed by Ellana, and finally Jin. Deshanna’s aravel was the biggest, worthy of a Keeper. Jin, Verlen, and Mahanon slept in the same aravel, and comfortably to boot. The Keeper did have more things than the typical Dalish. Scriptures written in ancient Elvhen, books of magic stolen from Circle mages, and maps of the area were a few things Deshanna kept on the floor of the aravel.

  
“Good of you to join me.” She sat on the furthest side of the aravel, a dirty parchment at one side, a covered, long item at the other. Her blue eyes, usually friendly, were cold and serious, prompting all three of them to stand in attention. “Please, sit. You won’t be leaving soon.”

  
They did as they were told, with Ellana sitting in the middle. Jin knew she was still under the effects of the elfroot, but she hid any indication perfectly.

  
“This” —Deshanna picked up the paper— “is an invitation to a Conclave. One of our scouts intercepted it from a group of templars patrolling this area. That Chantry Divine has called a meeting between the templars and mages to finally end this war.”

  
“What are we to do?” Ellana asked. “This is something that affects the shemlen world, maybe a couple of flat-ears, but whichever way this goes, we’re fine.”

  
Mahanon gave her a stink eye. “Maybe it doesn’t concern you, Ellana, but my scouts have a hard time doing any business in shem towns because they think we’re all apostates. At least before we could go near them without having the templars called on us.”

  
“That’s not any different from before!” she shot back. “They’ve always known the Dalish have ‘apostates’ amongst them. They’re more skittish, yes, but we have never trusted shemlen.”

  
Deshanna raised a hand in an appeasement motion. “Relax, you two. I appreciate your arguments, but you two are thinking too short-term. The result of this Conclave could bring about a change in the future of all of the elves. If mages can get their dignity back, doesn’t this mean elves could? It’s a stepping stone towards a brighter future for us all.”

  
Jin knew what Deshanna wanted. It was a tactic she had read about in her world’s history books. A long time ago, when her world was divided by every identity possible, airbenders were discriminated against for some silly reason in an earthbending-dominant country, but spirit-sympathizers had it worse than them. The airbenders won a civil rights fight against the dominant government, and the spirit-sympathizers took advantage of the more progressive environment to push their own agenda further. Jin couldn’t remember exactly what happened, since this was thousands of years ago, but she could tell they had succeeded because the term spirit-sympathizer didn’t exist anymore; they were all one group, sharing the Spirit and Physical world.

  
“So what would you have us do?” Jin asked. This wasn’t her fight, she knew that, but she had seen how horribly elves were treated, and couldn’t accept that from Thedas, which would soon become her world.

  
Deshanna gave her an approving smile. “Infiltrate this Conclave. Make sure the outcome is one that benefits us. This invitation right here should make it easier for you to fit right in.”

  
“We’re elves,” Ellana deadpanned. “With vallaslin.”

  
“Not you, of course I know that. Jean will be your cover. She’ll be bringing you two as some sort of ‘savage’ exhibition. There will be so many mages in this Conclave even they won’t be able to tell who’s a mage and who isn’t.”

  
Mahanon hummed. “We would have to get some armor for her.”

  
“No need. The letter is more than enough. Besides, this is just to get you into the general area surrounding the Conclave. Once you’re inside, you can all spread out, do what you have to do.”

  
“It’s a sound infiltration plan,” Ellana said, “but I still don’t know how the three of us can influence a shem event. These are forces larger than us.”

  
“A wave starts with a small wind deep in the sea,” Deshanna said. “Have faith, we have the Creators on our side.”

  
Ellana nodded, seemingly convinced. Even Mahanon was excited about the plan, which was a surprise; Jin wouldn’t be surprised if his patronymic name had something to do with skittish.

  
So of course Jin had to shatter the good mood.

  
“Keeper Deshanna, I know I haven’t done enough to pay back these debts, but I—”

  
“Have to leave, right?” she said with a knowing look.

  
Mahanon and Ellana turned to her in surprise, but her attention was focused on Deshanna.

  
“I know we’ve talked about it, but how did you know I was ready?”

  
“Your magic has been restless for a while. You’re a free spirit, you have that Dalish in you, and I know this life doesn’t suit you. _A debt paid different ways_ ,” she finished in mangled Elvhen. By now Jin didn’t even bat an eye at the horrible grammar and pronunciation.

  
“Our life is the definition of freedom,” Mahanon pointed out, his voice soft. “You can’t tell me you want to go back to living a shem life.”

  
“There is something I have to do, Mahanon. There are some things I must discover on my own,” she admitted. “And I can’t do it while I’m here.”

  
“By going to this meeting, I shall consider your debts to me paid back. You still owe Clan Lavellan for taking you in.”

  
“And Ashara for teaching me.”

  
Ellana waved her off. “You’ve extended my life with that spirit friend of yours. Even if my mom were one to collect debts, yours would have been paid off a long time ago.”

  
“When do we leave?”

  
“The Conclave will be held in the Frostback Mountains, the border between Ferelden and Orlais. It will be at least a two months’ journey, and the Conclave is in three months. I would recommend leaving no later than tomorrow, just in case you all run into trouble.”

  
Mahanon frowned. “Our maps of Ferelden are a bit outdated. It will take us longer to make a route.”

  
“We’ll steal some maps on our way there.”

  
“Or, we could, I don’t know, buy them?” Jin offered blithely.

  
“From the shemlen that stole all of our history and lands?” Ellana rejoined, though in good-nature.

  
Jin winced. “Good point, good point.”

  
“I don’t care by what means you get there, only that you do in time,” Deshanna said. “Do try not to get yourselves killed.”

  
Ellana snorted. “One look at me and most people run away. A show of my fists and no one in the Marches will dare go against us.”

  
“You’re going to the Conclave as spies, Ellana. It would do you good to act the part.”

  
She smiled sheepishly. “Yes, Keeper.”

  
“Mahanon and Ellana, go prepare your packs. You’ll leave before dawn, and I’d rather have you both well-rested. Jean, if you would stay for a bit?”

  
“Yes, Keeper,” they both said in unison. Mahanon gave her shoulder a squeeze and shot her a meaningful look, a sign that their conversation was not over.

  
As soon as they were both gone, Deshanna said, “I can’t send you to a Conclave weaponless, Jean.”

  
“And you know my stance against weapons, Keeper.”

  
Deshanna smiled. Sometimes, Jin forgot she was much, much older than the woman sitting across from her. It was a bit jarring knowing what responsibility did to a person’s mental age. “You see weapons as a way to harm, but I see them as a way to protect. I’m entrusting you the lives of my head scout and Master warrior, Jean. If something were to happen to them, it would be of great loss to Clan Lavellan.”

  
She uncovered a long staff from beside her, the other item Jin had noticed when she had come in. It was a simple wooden thing with a blade at one end of it. “I found it by a dead mage. She’s nameless, but I tested her out and works. The magic it possesses is not very strong, but it should help when you get on a melee confrontation.”

  
Jin stared at Deshanna in wonder. “This is more than what I expected.”

  
“Then you have expected too little from us.” Deshanna handed the staff to her awaiting hands. “May it serve you well.”

  
“Thank you,” Jin said. She got up and bowed fully to the Keeper. “I will never forget the kindnesses you and Clan Lavellan have shown me. I’ll repay them twofold.” When she got her people in this world, one of the first things she would negotiate for was a better treatment for the elves. Aruk would strongly disapprove of her trying to interfere with matters from another world, something about moral colonialism, but she couldn’t turn her back on one of the only people who accepted her just because some writer said it was wrong.

  
Deshanna nodded graciously. “One step at a time, Jean. First focus on that Conclave, then on everything else. And do not let your heart be swayed by Mahanon. He is still young, and does not understand there is more than one path that can lead us to where we want to be.”

  
“Your wisdom is also astounding, if I’m going to be completely honest. You’re not even thirty, are you?” Almost three years later, and she still had a hard time comprehending how quickly the inhabitants of Thedas aged.

  
She chuckled. “No, but being a Keeper ages you faster than time ever could. Now go! You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow.”

  
Jin stepped out of her aravel, new weapon in hand, and had not even gone further than ten paces when Mahanon cleared his throat.  
“Going somewhere?”

  
“To look for you,” she replied quickly. “I wasn’t going to avoid you.”

  
“I know, because we sleep in the same place,” he pointed out with a smirk. He sobered up quickly and looked around. “We should head somewhere more quiet.”

  
“Yeah,” she agreed.

  
Mahanon led her a five-minute walk from the camp. Though she wasn’t that much of a village pariah, everyone was concerned about her friendship with Mahanon, especially some of the single female elves of the village. He had a pretty face, and his Mythal vallaslin spoke of his priorities. Jin wished she could tell them Mahanon wasn’t interested in humans, or in half-elves, just to save herself from the glares.

  
“So when were you going to tell me or Verlen you were leaving?” he asked without preamble.

  
She cringed inwardly. “It… never came up?”

  
“Because we never imagined you would just leave!”

  
“I understand why you’re angry, I really do, but you didn’t actually expect the Clan to let me stay, right? I was always a conditional addition.”

  
Mahanon sighed angrily. “Deshanna is on your side. Verlen adores you. Ellana likes you, Ashara tolerates you, _I_ like you!”

  
“That’s five people you just pointed out. The rest honestly would rather have me gone.”

  
“The sentiment has been changing with every scrape you heal and every illness you cure, let me assure you. I wasn’t lying earlier when you said we’re starting to consider you a Lavellan.”

  
“And I appreciate the sentiment, I really do, Mahanon. But I cannot stay. I do have a mission to accomplish, one I can’t accomplish by staying here with you all.”

  
Mahanon ran a hand through his ear-length black hair. “You won’t make me tell Verlen, right? The boy will miss you terribly. I wouldn’t put it past him to run away in search of you.”

  
She frowned and pointed a finger at him. “Wait, do you think I’m just going to disappear from your lives?”

  
He cocked his head to the side. “Isn’t that what you meant by going your own way?”

  
“No, of course not! I’m not going to journey with the clan but that doesn’t mean you won’t ever see me again. I have big plans for the future, and I’d like to have you all by my side.”

  
“Including Doshiel?”

  
Doshiel was the main hahren of Clan Lavellan. He made his displeasure at Jin’s presence known in every possible way he physically could.

  
“Maybe not Doshiel,” she admitted.

  
He chuckled and placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “In that case, I think I’m fine with this arrangement. Will sure be weird not having anyone to carry my weapons around.”

  
She slapped his hand away. “Aha! So you do admit you only had me around because you’re lazy!”

  
“Shhh! Someone might be able to hear you!”

  
Jin glared at him. “It’s not like you have much of a reputation.”

  
“Man, I’m going to miss having someone around to insult me,” he drawled, a smirk on his face.

  
“Watch it, you still have three months with me. I can easily make you not miss them.”

  
“I look forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Codex: Earth Society
> 
> Though Earth's social strata is more simplified than Thedas, it is still divided into three main categories: Providers, Entertainers, and Dependents. 
> 
> Providers advance and maintain society while Dependents live off the fruits of the Providers' work. Entertainers are artists who create content to entertain the world. Earth's government provides food, shelter, healthcare, and entertainment as rights, granted to any living human being, so becoming a Provider comes from the person's own choice.


	6. Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a pilgrimage site, Haven is full of surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Jin becomes accustomed to Clan Lavellan, though not everyone is ecstatic about the new addition. Deshanna asks Mahanon, Ellana, and Jin to go spy on the Conclave.

Jin wasn't exactly sure what she expected to find when they arrived to Haven. Though she was a bit rusty with her religions, she knew that Divine Justinia had called this Conclave in the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Everything about it screamed Thedosian religion all around. And considering the importance of the Chantry in this world, it made sense to have the Templars and mages meet in religious grounds. And if this world was anything like hers, anything that had to do with deities was luxurious at the least, criminally opulent at most.

So, yeah, maybe she was expecting (hoping?) something elegant, even in the winter wonderland that was the Frostbacks. After traveling for two months in a wide range of conditions, she was ready to be pampered and eat everything she wanted as some sort of guest of this _monumental_ Conclave. She didn't want the whole "the-Avatar-is-coming-to-visit-quick-we-must-throw-a-ball-and-large-banquet" treatment she got back on Earth, but she just wanted _some_ spoiling. She had been good at adapting to a world that trailed millennia behind hers. Jin just wanted a small break before her real adventure started.

Haven, she would find much later, was a pilgrimage site. The whole point of the town was to be the opposite of ostentatious. It was a place of spiritual reflection, one where people of all races who believed in the Chant would feel a little closer with the Maker. Call her rude, but Jin didn't want anything to do with the Maker. She just wanted a warm bath and to clean her dirty clothes Deshanna had gifted her weeks ago. Though comfortable and made out of good leather, they smelled pretty badly. Everything in Thedas smelled badly, but this was starting to grate on her nerves.

Mahanon shivered violently in Ellana's arms and sneezed yet again. Mahanon needed medical attention, and quickly, if he wanted to make it to the Conclave on time. They were two days behind schedule, Mahanon's sickness slowing them down before he collapsed from it. The Conclave was today, in a couple of hours, if the invitation was right, but there were no outlooks in which Mahanon got better today.

Though Jin was good at healing magic, she didn't excel in it as much as she did in the combat arts, because irony. Even if she were a better healing mage, mending wounds was significantly easier than curing illnesses. With wounds, what was making a person closer to death was easy. With illnesses, there were a million and one reasons why someone might have some symptoms. Which is why Ashara had taught her the medicinal properties of some herbs, but most of them were only found in the Free Marches, and the rest did not grow in the snow-covered fields of the Frostbacks.

Even asking her friend, Faith, had brought about a negative, saying Mahanon's condition could not be healed solely with magic.

"Hmm, I don't think Mahanon will be able to join us in the first day," Ellana said, her speed in the snow just barely slowed by carrying Mahanon. She was covered in animal furs, a jarring site compared to her almost naked daily attire back in the Marches, and her dark skin was a bit pale from lack of light. "Should we leave him in Haven for the day? Surely there must be someone willing to look after him while we go to the Conclave."

They got closer to the gate, which was guarded by Templars, but they weren't there to keep anyone out. Jin's cover story would come in handy when they attempted to enter the Temple of Sacred Ashes, where only those invited could attend. There was _a lot_ of movement, the likes Jin had barely seen even when she lived in Ansburg. Ansburg was much bigger than Haven, but the movement was divided across the small city. In here, people were crammed and loud. The town could maybe house three hundred people comfortably, but Jin guessed there were close to five hundred, if she was being conservative.

Everyone was so busy that no one spared the two Dalish elves and human mage a second glance. In all the towns they had stopped to stock up on, everyone had glanced at them warily, as if they were there to rob them (which they were, but Ellana always said that it was a small thing compared to everything they had stolen). Though Jin never felt personally insulted, she did feel offended on behalf of her friends. Racism against elves, especially Dalish elves, was a common part of life for elves, so common she was honestly very shocked no one was giving them trouble.

Yet.

"We don't have time for him," the apothecary, named Adan, gritted out as he worked over three potions simultaneously.

The apothecary was bursting with movement and noise, with children wailing and older patients groaning and healers running to and from Adan, asking something unrelated to his work then getting back to the sick.

Ellana's eyes flashed with anger, and she opened her mouth with the beginnings of a rude remark, but Jin put a calming hand on her shoulder, a bit above from hers. "All right, I understand. I don't need time. I just need some place to work with him, and some herbs. Can you spare those for us?"

"You'll find nothing spared here, girl, but I won't hesitate to ever give out something earned."

Jin's hand went to the coin pouch attached to her belt. It was a bit lighter than what they had started out with, but she knew they would be able to afford what they needed.

Adan heard the jingle of the coins and looked up from his work. He frowned and shook his head. "No, no, I have more than enough money right now. What I need is a pair of hands. You're a healer, right?"

"A mage healer," she confirmed somewhat hesitantly, vaguely touching the staff she carried over the black cloak Flora had gifted her. She still hadn't used it, but the weight was now natural to her, and she felt weird without it.

"Mage healer, Dalish healer, poor healer, I don't care," Adan grouched. "Do you know how to treat patients?"

She nodded.

"Good. Most of my time is consumed looking after them. As you can see, I have some helpers, but they haven't been trained yet. They just do what I tell them to do. That'll be your job. I'll give you a potion for his symptoms in advance as a sign of goodwill, but you'll get a potion for a day's work."

Jin looked up at Ellana in askance. The older-looking woman frowned in thought, looked down at the feverish Mahanon, and nodded at her. "Stay then, Jean. I'll deal with the rest."

Adan pointed at a spare bed at the end of the healer's house, gave Jin a green potion, and shooed them. Ellana's massive form provided some space for them to go through. It wasn't every day you saw an elf towering over humans, especially a female one, who were usually small and wiry. It would certainly make it harder for her to infiltrate the Conclave.

Ellana gently placed Mahanon on the bed and forcibly took a blanket from a scared female helper. Jin tried to give her an apologetic smile, but she was already gone and looking over other patients.

"Are you sure you want to do this alone, Ellana?" Jin murmured while Ellana tucked Mahanon in.

He sighed and burrowed even further into the mattress, a surprise for him, to be sure, but a welcome one.

"Deshanna would kill us if something monumental happened on the first day and we weren't there," she said. "Though I'm still not sure about this whole thing. We're just here to watch, right? What good will it do if we just watch?"

"Knowledge is power. If there are certain parts of the deal that aren't mentioned to the public, it's in our best interest to know."

Ellana's dark brown eyes widened, then she smiled and patted her back gently. "I'm amazed, Jean. Here I am learning from the younger generation. I thought the day would never come!"

Jin wanted so badly to tell her she was almost two hundred years older than her, just to see her reaction, but maturity stayed her tongue. "We always have some things up our sleeves," she said.

"In that case, I better start trying to figure out how to get inside. I saw some Qunari on our way here. Maybe I can impress them with some story so they'll allow me to tag along, at least until I get inside. We'll try a different tactic when you two join me."

"Don't get into too much trouble. I'm not sure I can get you out of it with so many Templars and mages around." Though Jin wasn't coming back to the Lavellans anymore, she had promised Deshanna to watch over Ellana and Mahanon as part of paying back her debt. She still would've done it without the debt.

Ellana flashed her a toothy grin, which didn't inspire a whole lot of confidence. "Worry about Mahanon, all right? And don't let that shem boss you around. I'll see you in the evening. Try to secure lodging for the two of us for the night."

That went without saying. Jin was through with sleeping in the snow, and she could regulate her body temperature because of her master airbending techniques. She couldn't imagine how cold Ellana and Mahanon, native Free Marchers, felt. There was no question why Mahanon had fallen ill.

"Good luck," she called after Ellana.

She grinned back and gave a small wave before disappearing in the crowd of sick people.

Jin uncorked the potion and put it against Mahanon's lips, raising his head gently to force the liquid down. He coughed roughly, staining the already dirty bed sheets with green potion, but then started drinking it willingly, no longer needing Jin to help him.

"Is that magic?" Mahanon rasped.

"It's a potion, so it does have magical properties," Jin confirmed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit, but better. Where's Ellana?"

"You just missed her. She left to the Conclave."

Mahanon groaned and let his head fall back to the pillow. "I hate myself."

"You didn't choose to get sick. And if you think about it, it's my fault for not knowing how to fish properly. You wouldn't have stayed so close to the river if I hadn't messed up. Now, I have to go back to work to earn that second potion, but I have a feeling you'll be feeling much better tomorrow, and you'll be able to join us in two days."

"And there'll still be a Conclave to go to, you think?"

Jin snorted. "There's no way Divine Justinia can get the Templars and mages to agree to a truce in a single day. Today is just a formality."

Mahanon looked at her oddly. "Remind me to get myself some spirit friends that can teach me everything about the world."

"Only if you get better. I'll see you later, all right? Try to rest as much as you can."

From then on Jin poured herself completely to her work. People stared at her warily, their eyes always going to the staff she carried, but they quickly recognized Jin's authority over healing. If she were being completely honest, she wasn't that good of an herbalist. What made her special was her spirit healing magic, but Deshanna had warned extensively about using that in public, especially in Haven. Her Spirit of Knowledge had confirmed that this was possibly because of Anders, companion to the Champion of Kirkwall, a spirit healer who had become an abomination after joining with a Spirit of Justice and had blown up a Chantry, starting the Mage-Templar War.

If only Deshanna knew that Jin was born an "abomination."

Still, Jin had to respect people's fears and perhaps having a spirit healer so close to a Divine wasn't the best idea. Besides, she wasn't going to spend too much time in Haven, so it shouldn't be an issue to hide her powers. She had hidden her identity from Clan Lavellan for almost two years, after all.

Jin placed a glowing hand over the pale face of a young woman, her next patient. She could lessen her pain, but nothing more. Jin was adapt at identifying her cold, but was incapable of healing it completely. It still surprised her how easily people in Thedas got sick. Illness on Earth was a... well, not unknown, but very rare. And sickness that lasted longer than three days were almost unheard of. In here, people could die from a simple viral infection.

She noticed the older woman standing next to her, observing Jin's every action with a hawk's eye. "You're her mother?"

The woman nodded tersely.

"I've decreased her pain. Now she just needs rest."

"When will she wake up?"

"I think before lunch, but no later than sunset," she replied with some confidence. If only Aruk could see her now, giving medical advice! "Will you continue to watch over her? I still have other patients to see."

And that was the last thing Jin said before the explosion.

The only light that came through the windows was green. The ground shook, causing panic inside the healing house, and screams from the outside were the only thing anyone could hear. Jin, however, felt something was terribly wrong. Her chest constricted and she had trouble breathing, almost as if something painful had been inflicted on her.

In a daze, Jin left the healing house and stared in horror at the mountain where the Temple of the Ashes was supposed to be, a giant tear in the sky, almost looking like a gaping wound. The blue of the sky had been replaced with green, a color she had only seen when she had physically been in the Fade.

People were screaming around her, but Jin still couldn't completely comprehend what was happening. The Spirit Realm... it wasn't dying, was it? Then what was this pain in her chest? Why did it hurt?

Her cheeks felt wet and she wiped them absentmindedly. Was she... crying? Why would she be crying over the sky?

She felt someone place a hand on her shoulder and lean slightly into her. Mahanon kept himself up through sheer willpower, but he wasn't looking at her. He was also staring at the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes with horror.

"Ellana," Mahanon breathed.

And suddenly everything made sense.

Fen, her airbending master, had always warned her about intense emotions. His concerns weren't solely of a philosophical source, though air, as the element of freedom, also dictated being as free as possible of emotion. His worries were about the Avatar State. Most Avatars and Hosts didn't experience traumatic events anymore. This made their chances of losing control of the States so low that no one really trained Avatars and Hosts with the mentality of sending them to war zones. It was, they said, too barbaric for their age. Fen hadn't seen anything wrong with that, but now Jin had her misgivings.

She had thought she was a fully realized Avatar, and, according to everyone in her world, she was, but only under the right circumstances, and this one wasn't one of them.

Jin felt the dams in her heart open to overwhelming grief, the kind she couldn't put any words to. Her emotion clearing exercises weren't working, and trying to contain the sadness only made it even stronger. It was as if her heart had wrestled complete control of her mind, and was unwilling to give it back.

Logically, she didn't want to access the Avatar State. It would be bad, very bad, if she went into the Avatar State here, not only because she would put Raava into danger, but because she would accidentally harm someone, and her oath against hurting a sapient being was almost sacred.

And yet she couldn't control it. Her body was calling the ancient power for justice (against whom?) and did not care about the repercussions (her world?), because no one should dare harm a friend of the Avatar.

"Jean?" Mahanon whispered in concern. "Are you okay?"

The world started making more sense, her power allowing her to see every connection between living things, an exploit she could use to maximize destruction. She could see life and death with perfect clarity, and the line here was black and white, unlike so many other things.

She closed her eyes as she felt Raava's light inside her body getting stronger. Maybe that could help hide things, at least hide Raava's power that became visible through the eyes?

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me," he said gently.

Jin shook her head, afraid he would see anything different. She couldn't lose Mahanon, not to her own power.

She felt arms envelop her and a soft hand running up and down her back. "Hey, it's okay, it's okay. We'll be okay."

Her mind knew that his words were unlikely, but, surprisingly, her heart rate calmed down, her breathing slowed, and she managed to subjugate Raava's primal power.

Though Haven was no longer in danger of being destroyed under a wrath of elements, Jin was unwilling to leave Mahanon's embrace. Though her arms hung limply at her side, she was comfortable, feeling content in hearing Mahanon's rapid heartbeat amidst the screams of people.

"You know, she's not confirmed dead. There could be survivors, and she could be one of them."

If Jin had known Mahanon had said this for her benefit and his, she wouldn't have shook her head and said, "I... I can feel it. She's... gone."

"Mages aren't able to feel life, though, especially not the life of a non-mage," Mahanon pointed out rather weakly. "You can't know that."

Which was true, mages couldn't feel the loss of life, especially since mages themselves housed mana, not magic. But benders could feel chi, and in her heightened Avatar State, she could see what was alive in the entire Frostbacks.

"It's a hunch," she replied quietly.

Ellana wasn't one of them.

But there was a lucky person who was.

* * *

If Jin had thought she was busy before the start of the Conclave, she was painfully naïve about what actual work was. Adan quickly ran out of beds for soldiers wounded from fighting the demons outpouring from the Breach, the massive tear in the Veil, so they had started treated them out in the cold. Jin tried doing anything to alleviate their comfort, but everyone was adamant in not receiving any magical help.

The Breach was done out of magic, everyone had concluded, and it was another reminder that it was to be feared. Jin felt an unhealthy amount of frustration boiling inside of her as she watched patient after patient. All those wounds could be avoiding with just some magical help! But Jin was being watched by surviving Templars as heavily as they were watching the growing width of the Breach.

At least with everything being so hectic, Jin was spared thinking about Ellana too much. She still didn't know how to process her death.

Mahanon had been kicked out of the healing house along with everyone who was not on death's door. Everyone that could fight had been sent to the front lines to try and keep the situation contained, which would've included Mahanon had she not knocked him out and hid him away in a room in the inn. To her relief, she hadn't been the only one selfish to do that, because most of the relatives of her previous patients had followed her example.

"Hannah?" Jin called after one of the helpers. "This soldier needs a health potion."

The soldier in question, a young woman with dark hair and pale skin, grimaced and clutched the open wound in her abdomen, the blood staining the white snow underneath her body. Jin hadn't been anywhere near close to being a physician in her world, but she understood that losing that much blood was bad.

She narrowed her eyes. "We've ran out of them. The best we can do is give them some comfort," she said before disappearing inside the healing house to tend to other patients.

Jin looked down at the young soldier with pity, but then felt her resolve strengthen. She was the Avatar, protector of spirit and mankind. She shouldn't let some fear get in the way of doing what was right. She called magic from beyond the Veil, to the Fade, and started healing the gaping wound in her wound with the blue glow of her hand.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" someone shouted.

She looked up to see a Templar drawing his sword and pointing it at her. Damn, she had thought they were elsewhere, but she should've known someone would've stationed Templars close to her.

"Healing this soldier," she said without stopping the healing process, staring at the Templar with hard eyes.

The Templar faltered a bit before getting closer to her, the edge of his sword almost touching her neck. "This whole thing is the fault of you mages. If it hadn't been for you, they wouldn't have... we would've..."

Jin felt her expression soften; this man was just mourning the loss of his friends, and without anyone to blame, he blamed her. Not that it made it right, of course, she just understood his grief all to well.

"I understand, but you must let me heal this soldier. She's someone's daughter, someone's friend. You wouldn't want someone else to go through what you're going right now, right?"

"I... No, no I wouldn't," he admitted quietly. "Still, orders are orders. I can't go against them."

Jin had read some old psychology books about obedience and authority. She would need to tread carefully if she wanted to achieve what she wanted. "At least let me finish closing the wound, and we'll go see the person who gave the order. I would like to speak with them."

"Seeker Pentaghast is busy," he replied automatically. "I'll let you finish this healing, but be quick about it."

She had to hold back the smile. At least now she knew who to look for.

The wound closed soon after, much to her satisfaction, and just as she promised, she stopped calling on the power of the Fade. The Templar remained station right next to the healing house, observing her closely while she worked with the other patients that were stationed outside the healing house, doing her best to keep them alive until she talked to Seeker Pentaghast.

When she was sure the Templar wasn't staring at her anymore, she went inside the healing house, grabbed her black cloak from a chair, hid her staff in a corner hopefully no one would pay much attention to, and left the place, drawing her hood up to avoid the Templar from recognizing her.

Once out of his sight, she started searching Haven for Seeker Pentaghast. Normal Haven citizens didn't know where they were, and soldiers had a vague idea, though it still wasn't much.

One Templar, who probably didn't know who she was, asked her suspiciously, "Why do you want to know?"

"There's some problems in the healing house I want to ask about," she replied truthfully.

She sighed and glared at her. "Fine, but if you get me in trouble with Seeker Pentaghast I will personally make you pay. Last I heard, she was in the Chantry, looking after the prisoner. She's with the Nightingale, however, so I would be wary."

Jin smiled. "Thank you. I promise I won't get you in trouble."

The Templar scoffed. "That's what they all say. Now, go away, I'm busy looking after this town."

The Chantry was Haven's centerpiece and where all movement revolved around. Though normally it wouldn't be hard to go in, the Chantry had the added purpose of housing the only survivor of the blast in the prison. There were various rumors about their identity, but the only thing they agreed on was that she was a woman with midnight hair.

Two soldiers were stationed at the entrance of the Chantry. They stiffened at her approach, and one gritted out before she even got to the steps, "What's your business here?"

"Is no one allowed inside anymore?" Jin asked innocently.

"No one who doesn't have official business is allowed inside," the other soldier responded, though not as harshly.

"Then it's a good thing I do. I was told to find Seeker Pentaghast. There are matters about the house of healing she should hear."

"Seeker Pentaghast is busy with the prisoner. It'll have to wait," the ruder soldier responded.

Jin's green eyes narrowed at him. "Your comrades are dying because there's no more medicine. Do you really want us to wait till everyone is dead?"

The two soldiers looked at each other, gauging what they should do. Jin knew they probably had friends involved in this fiasco. The question was, how much did they fear possibly angering Seeker Pentaghast?

"Very well. But make it quick. She hasn't been in a good mood."

"None of us have," the other soldier added.

Jin could relate. She could feel her normally cheery mood withering away with every second stuck in here.

She opened the doors and walked into the stone halls of the Chantry. It was cold and eerily empty, a stark contrast to how full normal Chantries were. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the low light, and she started searching for Seeker Pentaghast.

It turned out Seeker Pentaghast wasn't very good at not being found.

"So the Mark is killing her?" a loud, accented female voice asked from behind a door at the end of the hall. Well, it wasn't exactly very loud. Jin was just focusing her hyper-sensitive hearing for anything.

"Yes, but I am containing it to the best of my ability," a softer, male voice replied.

"Best of-"

Before Jin eavesdropped even more into their conversation, she knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" the female voice asked harshly.

"Adan's helper," Jin replied, unperturbed.

She was quiet for a few moments before she said, "Come in."

Jin opened the door and closed it softly behind her. A tall, muscular woman (Seeker Pentaghast, she guessed) was standing behind a desk and a bald, male elf in front of it. They both stared at her, reserved and wary, their lips taut in a firm line.

The Breach brought the best out of everyone.

"I've come here because we've officially ran out of healing supplies," Jin began without preamble. "I know how hard it is to find supplies around Haven, which is why I would be happy to offer my magical services, but I'm unable to without having a Templar threatening me. I wanted to ask if you could tell them to back off."

"You're a mage?" Seeker Pentaghast asked in surprise. "Why haven't you run away?"

Though Jin didn't appreciate sidetracking the conversation, she knew she couldn't refuse an answer. "I suppose there is nowhere to run away," she replied carefully. "I've heard the Breach threatens the whole world. It's no use to escape. Might as well help while I'm here."

Worse comes to worst, she would try to use the Avatar State to close the Breach. Though the task was daunting, and perhaps impossible, Jin couldn't let the only world connected to her own destroy itself, at least not without trying to stop it. Then there would be no hope for her people, and the twin worlds separated by the bridge would be doomed.

"How good are you with your magic?"

"Pretty good," she said rather modestly.

"You wear no Circle robes. Are you another apostate?"

"Another apostate?"

"It would seem we're on the same predicament," the bald elf finally said, misinterpreting her confusion for confirmation. Though he hadn't exactly warmed up, he didn't have the initial wariness Jin had detected. "Seeker, you have no choice but to trust in us apostates at this moment. I just hope you remember our help once this is done."

" _If_ it's ever done," Seeker Pentaghast grouched. "Fine, another apostate it is. At least give me your name to have some preliminary background checks run on you."

"Preliminary background checks? How much can you hope to find out about me in such a short amount of time?" Jin sincerely hoped they didn't dig too far back. Alien didn't quite have a nice ring to it.

"Our resident Nightingale is not one that should be underestimated," she replied tersely.

Jin didn't know who the Nightingale was, but decided not to ask. She guessed Seeker Pentaghast didn't want to be in her company any longer than she had to be. "I'm Jean. I'm from the Dalish clan Lavellan in the Free Marches."

Seeker Pentaghast sighed heavily. "A non-elf Dalish apostate mage," she said dubiously. "I don't have time for this. Fine, I'll allow you to use magic, and if there's other mages that want to help you, I you can give them permission as well, at your discretion. However, I want you to go to the front lines. You'll save more people there. Tell one of the soldiers outside to direct you to the nearest outpost."

Jin bowed slightly, a habit from her world. "Thank you, Seeker Pentaghast."

She turned around, ready to be out of her sight, before she called after her, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about this Breach, would you?"

The Breach was a tear in the Veil. Having the Veil destroyed was one of her goals for this world, but, like Knowledge had said, it would have disastrous implications if done incorrectly. Jin saw that now. She always knew the Veil would be brought down by magic, but in all her travels of the Fade, she hadn't come across such a spell that could destroy it. She didn't even know how it was made, either, and knowing how things were made was necessary before learning how to dismantle them. 

She looked over her shoulder, watching the Seeker and the elf closely. "Besides the obvious? The magic that did it must be extremely old, or else some idiot mage would've done it already. That means the old, unknown magic that made the Veil will probably require old, unknown magic to mend it, right?"

Seeker Pentaghast became unhappier, stressed about another reminder about how hopeless their situation was, while the bald elf stared at her curiously.

"Right," she confirmed stonily. "Dismissed."

Jin left the room without a second glance, surprised and happy to have a bigger role in the Breach situation. Not being able to do much had been extremely frustrating. It kept getting bigger, and Jin could feel the damage it was doing to the Spiritual and Physical Realm. It was a bit alarming that her connection to Thedas had already reached such an intimate level. If only she could directly access Raava. The Spirit of Light might have some answers about this world, but going to her meant going through the God Avatar, and that was one of the first things her teachers forbade her of doing, and with good reason. 

She opened the door, her eyes adjusting to the extra light and naturally seeking the big green almost-tornado looking green mass in the sky. It was huge, an unavoidable death sentence. When Seeker Pentaghast had asked her why she hadn't run away, she hadn't been lying, but being completely honest, it had never once crossed her mind. She didn't have anywhere to run back to. Deshanna might forgive her for letting Ellana die, but Clan Lavellan would blame her completely. If the Breach caused the end of the world, she couldn't escape back to her world, since she had no way of getting back to the Void.

Jin might be staring at the thing that would cause her death, and oddly she didn't feel panicked about it.

Was it hubris?

"Hey, are you going to stare at the Breach forever or what?"

She snapped from her thoughts and blinked at the rude soldier. Well, maybe rude was the wrong word. He was antsy about the Breach. If he believed in the Maker, this might be one of the trying moments spoken of in ancient scripts.

"I was told to go to the front lines, and that you would help me get there."

* * *

Evelyn followed after Cassandra absentmindedly, her attention entirely focused on the Breach. She couldn't remember anything from before, was only confused as to why everyone blamed her for it. She wanted to say she was one hundred percent sure that she hadn't caused this, but maybe the Maker had a reason to make her forget?

_The only survivor of the Conclave. The only suspect of the explosion._

She shouldn't have been here. This was Daniella's responsibility, she should've been in chains instead of her. She should've represented the Templar's interests as a Templar-in-training and heir to the Trevelyan family, not her.

And Maxwell...

Oh, Max.

Evelyn squashed that thought down for a moment and kept her pace, only a couple of steps behind Cassandra. Evelyn wasn't sure if the Seeker disliked her or was too stressed to entertain her presence. Maybe a combination of both? Evelyn knew she wasn't the most congenial person out there, and being the only lead to the explosion that had killed everyone in the Conclave would probably put her pretty low on the Seeker of Truth's scale.

Oh, Maker, Divine Justinia was dead! How was she going to explain that to her parents when she returned to their family home for dinner?

_Hi, Mother. Hello, Father. Everything went splendidly in the Conclave. The only casualties were everyone, including your favorite, Divine Justinia; I may have set in motion the end of the world; and I got myself a wonderful Mark that is killing me as the Breach gets bigger. Hm, could you please pass the salt?_

Evelyn accidentally let out a half-snort, half-laugh, causing Cassandra to glare at her and shake her head in disapproval. "I wish I can have your sense of humor should I ever doom the entire world."

She should've really ended the sentence with "I wish I had a sense of humor" and it would've made sense, but Evelyn wasn't about to aggravate the only person with weapons. "I'm sorry, Cassandra, but with the world as it is now, I'll take any last laughs I can get."

"Not if you can do anything about it with that Mark."

Evelyn would find out later that Cassandra was right. But later came after falling and almost breaking her neck; fighting a shade with her newly acquired bow; losing more of Cassandra's approval; fighting more shades until they reached a little clearing with a small fight between shades and an elf and dwarf; and having her hand shoved into a rift by the elf while it magically closed itself shut when in contact with the mark.

Magic was so weird. She had no idea how Max had made any sense of it.

The dwarf turned out to be _the_ Varric Tethras. She felt guilty that she was happy the Breach had brought her to meet her favorite author, she couldn't control her excitement. _Hard in Hightown_ was a literary masterpiece the likes Thedas hadn't seen since... Well, maybe since ever. His works had convinced her teenaged self to start training to become a rogue and maybe be as cool as Donnen.

Gushing over Varric right now might be a bit inappropriate, considering the giant Breach that demanded everyone's attention, but damn was it hard to hold back.

"I'm Evelyn Trevelyan. Nice to meet you," was what she meant to say, but what came out was, " _Hard in Hightown_ is a crowning achievement of modern art and you should be proud."

Cassandra groaned and Varric blinked, then grinned. "I didn't expect to find any fans in a war zone, but I'm happy to be proven wrong."

"Why did the Mark choose her?" Cassandra questioned skyward.

"It's not about choice, Cassandra. Let's be grateful she still lives," the elf said, though he seemed inclined to agree with her.

Evelyn smiled sheepishly and extended a hand to him. "Hi, I'm Evelyn Trevelyan. Pleasure to meet you."

He took her own and shook it slowly. "Solas," he said simply. Though he was dressed in rags, Evelyn could sense the noble way he carried himself, and it showed in his handshake. He let her hand drop, but didn't seem to hold the same degree of disapproval Cassandra had. "Now that we know that your Mark can seal rifts, we should attempt to do it with the Breach."

She felt her earlier good mood shift entirely. "Good," she said seriously, surprising her three companions. "I imagine we have to get close so that my mark can come in contact with the Breach."

"Yes," Solas confirmed, controlling his bewilderment faster than everyone else. "If this rift was of any indication, I believe that the Breach will be well-protected by demons."

"We'll need help from soldiers. Us four can't take on that many demons. We should get moving, then. The less time we waste, the quicker we'll find out just what this Mark can do. Where are we going, Cassandra?"

Cassandra blinked and shook her head. "Right, follow me."

Though Evelyn was the youngest child, and thus the most cheerful, she was still a Trevelyan, and had been taught how to lead. Being an example and leader to peasants was her burden and responsibility, one she fulfilled unhappily, but fulfilled nonetheless.

She led them to another bridge, but unlike the first one, which had been a quick affair, passing this one took longer because of a man named Roderick.

"... I order you to take the prisoner to Val Royeaux to face execution."

Evelyn almost snorted. Almost.

Leliana and Cassandra sided with each other to verbally beat down the Chantry Chancellor, and if Evelyn had a seat, she would've sat farther back.

A very young woman (or very old girl) came from the tent behind the Chancellor. She wore a tattered black cloak over a tunic and trouser of dark greens and browns, the ranger look completed with some leather boots. But that was what she observed after staring at her face.

They looked eerily similar, right down to the color of their eyes and the length and color of their hair. Their faces had similar soft, delicate structures, though her eyes were more almond-shaped. Their builds were slightly different, with her body taller and more muscular, but still.

Creepy.

"Chancellor Roderick, I know you're trying to do your job, but I can't do mine if you keep talking so loudly," the girl said in a wry voice. Evelyn noted that she conveniently left out Leliana and Cassandra, whom had also been loud. Well, she can't fault her for being biased.

"Watch it, apostate, you're another one that-"

"Oh! You woke up!" The woman sidestepped Chancellor Roderick and went to stand right in front of Evelyn. "I'm Jean, and I'm trying to keep everyone I can alive. I was starting to think we were all going to die here!" Though it was a horrible reality they had been facing, she didn't sound too upset about it. Had Evelyn been thrown into the fray with a bunch of freaks?

"We have some reasons to believe she can close the Breach," Cassandra said.

" _She_ can speak for herself," Evelyn muttered rather darkly. "Listen, Chancellor, I'll ship myself to Val Royeaux if you want, but only after this is done, or at least we've tried our best. Now, Leliana, Cassandra, do we have any plans to get there?"

"The position is hopeless," Roderick replied. "Let us retreat while we still have a chance."

As if to spite everyone in Thedas, the Breach became active, and with it the Mark, the pain so intense she considered cutting her hand off just to alleviate it.

"There's no where to retreat to, Chancellor Roderick," Leliana said.

Cassandra turned to Evelyn and said, "What do you think we should do?"

After they both said the pros and cons of charging with the soldiers or going for scouts, Evelyn only hesitated briefly before saying, "We'll charge with the soldiers."

"In that case, I was hoping you'd let me go look for the scouts, Seeker Pentaghast," Jean said in a good-natured voice. Maker, how was she not stressed about all of this?

"Alone?" Cassandra asked. "Leliana has to stay here and bring everyone to the valley, and we can spare no one."

"That's quite all right," Jean said. "I will try to move as fast as I can and avoid demons."

Evelyn noticed Cassandra didn't seem enthusiastic about the idea, but Leliana butt in before she could say anything. "In that case, I would thank you for trying to save my scouts. I won't forget this."

"I'll go prepare myself. I wish you all good luck," her almost-clone said and went back inside the tent.

"Creepy," she caught Varric muttering from behind her.

She wholeheartedly agreed.

When Evelyn recounted their heroic charge to the Breach over drinks, she would say how she shot over one hundred shades and closed the Breach after defeating a Pride demon almost single-handedly. She wouldn't mention being internally flustered over Cullen Rutherford's luscious hair, or being knocked out of her ass by stopping the worsening of the Breach.

Varric would take care of pointing that out for her, drunk or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Codex Entry: God Avatar
> 
> The God Avatar was an Avatar that lived three thousand years ago, almost immediately after the Warring Era. The high approval Avatars and Hosts had after ending the wars elevated their status greatly, which the God Avatar used to their advantage to elevate themselves to godhood, causing a clash between Avatar and Host the likes that haven't been seen since Avatar Korra clashed with Host Unalaq. 
> 
> The God Avatar's identity has been lost to obscurity, with no one remembering their name, not even their gender. However, the ramifications of their existence can still be felt in every day life.


	7. Partings and New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin is unsure of her path in the wake of the Breach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: The explosion at the Conclave leaves many dead, including Ellana, and the rest of Haven is overwhelmed to contain the disaster. Jin tries her best to save as many people as she can, but the true hero of the hour is Evelyn Trevelyan, who stops the Breach from growing with her mysterious Mark.

Jin sat next to Mahanon, trying to not feel creepy about watching him sleep but failing at it, but she knew this was necessary. The disaster that had befallen them had put the ill people at a much lower priority compared to the wounded, and even though the Breach was officially closed, that didn't take care of the backlog of patients they received. While she had been out in the front lines mending wounds and saving lost Scouts, Mahanon had been here, recovering from his illness, which had worsened.

She had a sneaking suspicion that Ellana's death had affected his body. She still hadn't fully processed her death, but at least she was swamped with work. Mahanon spent his time here, resting in the overcrowded inn, with nothing to keep his mind occupied. What did he think of her, in these moments? Did he blame her, because it was because of her that Ellana had died alone? Or did he thank her, for getting him sick and therefore avoiding her fate? Jin had seen the burnt bodies near the blast site, the scent almost making her vomit.

Thedas was crude. Even the way people died in this world was too raw for her.

Tomorrow, though, she would have to confront what she had run away from these last couple of days. The Breach was closed, but not completely mended. Evelyn Trevelyan, the holder of the Mark, had seen to stopping its spread, which meant the apocalypse would take place another day. Not exactly a success, but Jin was just relieved knowing that this world her people desperately needed wouldn't disappear before she could even heal it.

Evelyn Trevelyan was currently knocked out. Safe and healthy, she had personally seen to that, but she wouldn't wake before morning. Even though Evelyn slept, Jin had already heard whispers that they would found an organization to heal the Breach completely, and find those responsible for its creation, and they would no doubt invite the Herald of Andraste to lead them. Unfortunately for Evelyn, she was stuck in this new adventure because they needed her Mark to seal Rifts that had sprung up in the vicinity, but Jin still had a choice of what to do. Should she join this religious organization to help "save the world," or should she continue her own mission to shape this world into one inhabitable by her people?

Jin knew her own limitations, and though she had traveled from the Free Marches all the way to Haven, her understanding of the world was still very rudimentary. Oh, she knew about this world's history, more than its own people sometimes knew, but she stuck out like a sore thumb. Knowing why people were the way they were was useful, but without knowing how to be like them, her options for traveling and actually finding something meaningful were low. Staying here, laying low, and learning the way people lived might be useful. Plus, she might be lucky to gain connections like Seeker Pentaghast, which might open some doors in the world.

But then again, she had a mission, and this technically counted as a sidetrack. Well, maybe saving the world wasn't a sidetrack? Could she trust these people to make sure the Breach didn't grow bigger? Could she trust them not to fail?

She frowned; not really, no.

Jin shook her head. She was being arrogant. The only person that could to anything about the Breach was Evelyn Trevelyan. And Jin knew that as Herald of Andraste, a blasphemous position, she would be in danger. Everyone would have to protect her, even if she herself didn't want to be protected. In that case, could she trust this organization to protect her? If Evelyn died, this world may very well die with them.

What if Evelyn didn't join? Jin almost snorted; as if the Nightingale and the Seeker would ever allow that to happen.

And then, what of Mahanon? Would he go back to the Lavellans? Of course he would, why would he want to stay around unknown shems when he could go home and recover? Jin felt her heart clench. She had been prepared to leave even before Deshanna had given them this assignment, but spending these last weeks traveling with them had made her grow fonder of Mahanon and Ellana. Could she maybe convince Mahanon to stay? No, that would be selfish of her. Clan Lavellan needed their Head Hunter. She had already deprived them of their best warrior, no need to take their best hunter as well.

The door opened, and light and sounds of merriment and cheer flooded the room full of sick patients. Though upstairs was grim and dark, everyone downstairs was celebrating the closing of the Breach and praising the Herald of Andraste with a lot of alcohol. Which was annoying because the whole purpose of the Singing Maiden was to be the party place, while the inn the sleeping place, but apparently there was not enough room in the Singing Maiden for all the festivities and the owner of the inn wanted in on the money.

Many of the relatives of the patients shushed the person who just came in.

"All right, all right, no need to be so prissy," Varric Tethras responded grouchily and closed the door. "I'm just looking for this girl named Jean, any of you have-"

Jin rolled her eyes and stood up. She could almost feel the judgement from everyone in the room, and she didn't blame them. "I'm here." She waded past the row of beds and went to the entrance of what used to be the upstairs lounge, which had been converted into a sick ward. "Let's go somewhere else."

"I didn't take you to be a brooder," Varric said once they outside of the inn. They walked towards the outside of the camp, where it was quieter, but close enough to still be near the light. For all its religious traditions, Haven sure knew how to throw a party. Well, then again, most people in Haven right now weren't native to the place.

"I'm not," she responded with a sigh. "I was just watching over a friend."

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I just thought you were sleeping."

"In the sick ward?"

Varric shrugged with a rather awkward look in his face. "I thought you were very dedicated to your job."

That got a laugh out of her. She had never really been dedicated to anything. It was one of the things that annoyed Aruk the most about her. "Well, surely you meant to wake me up for some reason."

"I didn't get to ask you about Evelyn's condition. I would ask the Seeker, but I rather keep my head where it is."

Ah, yeah, Seeker Pentaghast and Varric didn't get along very well. Jin was actually quite curious about that. "She's fine, so don't worry about losing our Herald just yet. I've been checking in on the Mark, but honestly I would leave that to Solas. He knows much more than I do."

Varric raised an eyebrow. "What do you think of Chuckles?"

"Not even a day after the Breach was stopped from growing and you want to gossip already?"

"Well, isn't it suspicious? None of the mages, well, none of the surviving mages knew anything about the Mark, but this apostate that came out of nowhere knew enough about it to save Evelyn's life! Now, I'm no mage, I'm a dwarf, by Andraste's ass, but I know that's too convenient."

By Yue above, was everyone in this world so suspicious, or was it just Varric?

"Bah, I'm just being paranoid. Everyone in the world has secrets, so what if Chuckles has some?"

Jin contained the relief from showing in her face. "Maybe you could ask him. He does love talking."

Varric barked a laugh. "And you haven't even spent a day with him. We'll be spending a lot more time around each other. We should get used to it."

"We?"

The dwarf looked at her in confusion, then nodded in realization. "I forget not everyone around here is a prisoner, like me and Evelyn. I suppose you're free to go. You're also a mage, right? I guess I can understand why you would want to leave."

It took Jin a moment to realize he meant the discrimination against mages. After being outcast for being human, she had forgotten she could also be outcast for a mage. Quite frankly, it didn't really bother her. These weren't her people, so she sought no approval from them.

"Though if all my years dealing with the Templars and the Chantry have taught me anything," he continued when she didn't respond immediately, "it is that Chantry won't accept a Herald of Andraste. It's simply blasphemous."

Jin wasn't sure why, but to keep appearances of being an integrated Thedosian, she agreed with him silently. "So you don't think it'll be an issue."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Hating on mages is a pastime everywhere but in Tevinter, and hating on Vints is also a pastime everywhere but in Tevinter. But hey, it's your choice. I myself am a tiny bit wary of mages, especially ones that have a hatred for the Chantry, but I suppose Hawke was all right and he was a damned blood mage."

"Hawke? As in, Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall?"

Varric shot her an incredulous look, then said slowly, "Do you not know who I am?"

Jin stared at him sheepishly. "I don't know much about the outside world. I'm from the Dalish clan Lavellan."

"A Dalish clan? But you're human!"

"Half-human," she corrected, though it was a big lie. But everyone else believed it, so it was a truth in this world. Now, she should really shut her mouth before he started prying, especially since Mahanon was still around and he could point out certain peculiarities about Jin.

"So, you were raised by the Dalish."

Jin almost groaned. He had mentioned earlier being a writer, so why was she telling her lie to the one person that crafted lies for a living? "Not exactly. It's a long story. But, the bottom line is, I'm not entirely sure who you are."

"Well, I can't say it's not refreshing to meet someone who hasn't already made-up their mind about me. Well, Jean, I'm Varric of House Tethras, rogue and storyteller extraordinaire who happens to be Hawke's best friend and partner in crime. I should give you my book, The Tale of the Champion, to catch you up to date."

Jin thanked her past self for having the foresight to learn how to read and write so quickly. "I would like that. Even the Dalish have heard some of the tale, but I suppose that if I want to help out, I should know more."

"So you'll stay?"

She was an alien with nowhere else to go. The thought made her inexplicably sad. Even back on Earth, all her homes were temporary. The Avatar and Hosts owed no allegiance to a specific species or people or land, only to the world. She was used to not belonging anywhere. But why was she sad about it here, in the one place she had nothing to be attached to?

"If I'm asked to. I guess I could do some good here."

"You saved those Scouts when no else would. I even heard those demons didn't give you any problems. I'm sure you'll have an important role in whatever becomes of this group."

Though seen as an act of good will, she had saved the Scouts to gain some favor with Leliana, with the hope that a favorable impression would make her background check less intrusive. It also had the added benefit of saving people and spirits. No one around her felt bad for the spirits, who had done existing in peace but were suddenly ripped from the Fade and dropped into this immutable world. No wonder they had turned into demons.

Switching the spirits' jing and sending them back into the Fade was harder in the Physical World than the Spiritual World, mostly because of the secrecy, but she managed. She simply ordered the Scouts to run back while she handled things around the Rift, which she found she could close with the Avatar State. Aruk would have berated her for putting her cover on the line for a couple of spirits, but Jin wouldn't start picking and choosing who deserved to live and who she could let die so early into the game. This world had already forced her to eat meat, it wouldn't force her to take a life.

"Hopefully not too important. I'm not much of a fighter. I like healing better."

"I sure hope there's not much fighting, but that's wishful thinking."

Jin smiled at him. "Have a little faith. The world isn't as dark that way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should go back to my friend."

Varric stared at her blankly, then nodded. "Right, I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

 

Jin woke up bright and early to help out Adan in his apothecary, which was now a house of healing. Her magic was no longer as needed as it had been during battle, since now they could do nothing but wait for the patients to get through their exhaustion and heal by themselves. The potions Adan made were much more useful, but there was still the odd case or two that required magical assistance.

It was like this that Mahanon found her. Jin briefly thought about dropping whatever she was doing and leaving, but she contained herself. She waited till one of Adan's helpers had some downtime and asked him to give her a hand with her patient. Jin had become somewhat of an authority in her short time, so the healer didn't mind to take some of her workload.

She stepped out with Mahanon for a stroll around Haven. Like the first day they arrived, Haven was busy, but there was something different about this busyness. Before there was a tangible tension, but things were now much calmer and it felt like a normal town, almost like Ansburg had been. In fact, the mood was so relaxed that no one stared at her and her Dalish companion.

"You certainly looked in your element back there," Mahanon said.

"It's a house of healing, and I am a healer, you know."

"I forgot, considering how big of a pain in the ass you are."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Only to you."

Mahanon chuckled. "I've noticed. So, what will you do, Jean? Are you going to stay here, or are you coming back?"

"You and I both know I won't be accepted in Clan Lavellan, even if I wanted to come back."

Mahanon frowned and pointedly looked away from her. "I know," he whispered. "And it doesn't matter how many times I tell them, they won't believe it wasn't your fault."

"I don't think they blame me, rather, they'll wish it had been me and not Ellana."

Which she understood. No matter how much Jin tried, she would never belong to Clan Lavellan.

"Stop that," he muttered.

Jin jumped slightly and stared at him in confusion. "Stop what?"

"Your face gives it away. You're thinking that it's okay, that their way of thinking is okay. But Jean, it isn't. You belong to Clan Lavellan as much as I do. You may not have been born into it like me, but you respect our culture, you practice it, and sure, you may not be a full-blooded elf, but that's not as important to me as your actions. And you can't deny that you have been true to us, so I consider you a true sister."

They had stopped walking a while ago, but Jin hadn't noticed. She could just gape at this man standing in front of her, who had just told her that she mattered, and for once, she believed it. Oh, she knew she mattered. She was one of the most important people in the world, but she had never mattered to someone. It was a surreal experience, this feeling of being accepted. Of course she hadn't cared before, to not be accepted, because she hadn't known she was missing out.

"Mahanon... That... thank you, brother. I... I have no words," she whispered back. "You have no idea how much I'll miss you."

He sighed. "I just want you to believe it. I don't know your past, completely, but-"

"About that..." Spur of the moment decisions like the one she was about to make were not normal, but after that small speech, she knew it was the right decision. "Would you mind coming somewhere private with me?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Sure?"

There weren't many private places in Haven, so they had to go to the outskirts, where only lumberjacks went to gather wood.

It was here that Jin confessed she wasn't from this world. She tried to keep certain details out, like the source of her powers or going through the Void and Fade, but explained as much as she could without putting her complete mission in jeopardy, like the whole bring down the Veil portion of her plan, considering the current situation.

"I'm not sure I believe you," Mahanon said after a few minutes of silence.

"It's a lot to take in, but please, believe me. When have I ever lied to you?"

"Never, but you could start now," he replied rather dubiously.

That hurt her more than it should have. "Please, Mahanon, you just told me earlier how you thought of me as family. Please, extend me the same trust."

"But- I- Fine. Fine, say I believe you, why would you tell me this after you kept this hidden for so long."

"Because I need a favor," she said with an embarrassed smile.

He rolled her eyes and muttered, "Of course."

"It's nothing too bad, I promise. This organization that I'll probably join has a very dangerous person that will probably ask around for my past, and she'll definitely ask Clan Lavellan about me."

"You want me to make sure she doesn't reach us?"

"No, that'd be far too suspicious. Just, that if she asks, leave out the pesky details like me not being able to speak the common tongue or only being able to speak Elvhen. Just say that I was taken in after you met me at a young age in Ansburg because my Dalish mother, part of Clan Lavellan, died."

Mahanon gave her an annoyed look. "So you're not an elf, either. Wait, how do you know Elven, anyway?"

"If I don't look like an elf, can I really be called an elf?" Jin asked back. "You saw in your travels how differently I was treated. Even if I were half-elf, if people don't know that, then I can't be considered one. Besides, you said it was my actions that mattered, and I never wanted to deceive you. I did because... Well, imagine telling Clan Lavellan I'm from another world."

"I suppose I can't be mad about that. They despise you after everything you've done for us. Also, don't think I didn't notice you didn't answer my question."

Jin gave him a sad look. "There are some things I must still keep secret. But, once everything is over, I'll explain, I promise. Also, don't think I haven't forgotten my debts to Clan Lavellan. Should you ever need my help, know you have it. I won't hold anything back in your defense."

"Considering you're your world's most powerful being, I don't doubt you. Can you show me, by the way? This... This bending?"

Jin looked around. Though they were alone, they were still far too close to Haven for her to feel comfortable with. But this was important, maybe not to her mission, but to her. She wanted Mahanon to believe her, and this was a sure way for him to believe. Seeing was believing, after all.

She moved her arms in circular motions in front of her, one arm over the other. Her movements summoned the wind and bent it to her will, to her chi. She heard Mahanon gasp, but her attention was on her bending. This type of bending was mindless, child's play compared to the bending she could do, but she hadn't bent in so long that she relished this opportunity.

Her dislike of magic had decreased, but it was not gone. Bending was her heritage, what made her the Avatar. Here, nothing separated her from other mages.

Well, besides her ability to close Rifts. But that was more an ability granted by Raava. Besides, closing that Rift had been harder than she had initially thought. Closing the Breach like Evelyn did might truly be impossible for her.

"That's… That's not magic, is it?" Mahanon finally said.

"No, this is my power. It does not come from the Fade, but rather from within."

"And everyone in your world is a bender?"

She stopped her airbending and stared at Mahanon, her pride for her homeworld obvious when she said, "Yes, we're all either benders, or none of us are. True equality for all."

"That sounds… Nice. Your world, I mean. I hope you get to bring them here before your world is destroyed."

"That's what I hope to, as well.

"And… And do you think they would object to the treatment elves receive from shems?"

Now Mahanon was going into very tricky territory. Aruk, the White Lotus, and the Red Lotus had strongly expressed non-interventionist opinions about the new world. They were meant to coexist as separate peoples. After all, having a culturally different group impose their morality on another group almost never worked, and would only breed hostility. That meant the only other popular course of action was colonization, and that was still a sore topic amongst some peoples, especially spirits.

Though the Avatar was always expected to follow the White Lotus's opinion, it was not exactly decreed by law. She could find allies in the Parliament that saw the plight of elves as a sensitive issue, if Jin played her cards correctly. She was as apolitical as she could be, both as a personal choice and as tradition dictated, but to leave Clan Lavellan and so many elves to the hands of this cruel treatment just because they were still afraid to make the same mistakes of the past? Wasn't the entire point of history to learn, not to avoid?

"I object," Jin said. "Though I may be a single voice, I am a powerful one. If I can do something to improve the lives of elves, I will."

Mahanon grinned at her. "You know, back when you told me you basically lied to us for years, I will admit I felt betrayed. But, you never really gave us a false image of who you were. You're still you, Jean."

"Jin," she corrected. "I adopted that name to make it easier for everyone to pronounce, but my true name is Jin."

"Jin it is, then," Mahanon said, sounding her name out carefully. "Just Jin?"

"Just Jin," she agreed.

Mahanon smiled sadly. "That part was true, then. The part of being abandoned."

Jin craned her neck back, in shock. "Abandoned? What makes you say that?"

"Didn't your parents abandon you?"

"No, they turned me in to the White Lotus. In order to be truly impartial, the Avatar cannot be clouded by familial or nationalistic bonds." Oh, she saw the irony of that . But the elves were from another world. She had no obligation to be impartial to Theodosians.

"I hope you forgive me for saying this, but that sounds incredibly sad. To not feel your father's encouragement, or your mother's praise, or hear an 'I love you' from them… I don't feel bad for you, Jin, but I hope your time in Clan Lavellan showed you something different, something good."

Jin frowned heavily, but she opted not to say anything. Mahanon had said he didn't feel bad for her, but she could see the damn _pity_ in his eyes and it angered her greatly. How dare he assume to know better than centuries of Avatar tradition? Earth needed to prevent another God Avatar, and if raising her away from her parents meant doing that, then she accepted that burden. But she didn't want to fight Mahanon right before he left. She also still felt bad about all the lying, so she would allow this one to slide.

"Don't worry about me, Mahanon. Now, shall we go back to Haven?"

The dark-skinned elf shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Jin, but this is where I part."

She observed him carefully. He had his heavy winter clothes and weapons, but the pack he always carried was dangerously empty. He also wasn't fully healed. How would he survive the trek back to the Free Marches, especially alone?

"Would you at least let me get you some supplies?"

"I checked out the food stores before I came to see you. Haven's not doing so well, and I doubt they would spare a Dalish elf food."

"What about me?"

"They'll only give you what's necessary. Don't worry about me. I'm sure I'll find some wildlife as I travel further. As for water. Well, we're surrounded by water. I taught you how to get water from snow, remember?"

"It wasn't that hard," she muttered, somewhat grouchily. She gave him a pleading look. "Would you at least consider staying for a little while longer?"

"And do what?"

"Rest? Gather your strength for the long trip?"

"Give you more time to think of reasons why I should stay here indefinitely?"

"Am I really that transparent?"

"Really."

Jin smiled sheepishly. "I know is incredibly selfish of me, but you're the only person that truly knows me, Mahanon."

"Not completely, by your own admission."

"Enough to make me want you around."

Mahanon stepped forward and took both of her hands in his. "I'll be fine, Jin. I'm head hunter, remember? I was the one that got us here to begin with. I'll write to you as soon as I get there to let you know how silly you were in worrying. Besides, I must tell them about Ellana."

Jin twined her fingers in his. "I… Do you think I could've done anything to save Ellana?"

"Do your powers allow you to revive the dead?"

"No."

"Then there's nothing that could have been done to save Ellana. Now, if there's anything that can be done to avenge her…"

"Vengeance is, uh, well, not good, right?"

"Killing everyone in that temple wasn't good, either."

Oh, she wouldn't start arguing morality with her friend right now. She needed to remember she was in a different world, and realities were different. In Thedas, you had to seek justice for yourself, and that usually devolved into vengeance. Who was she to judge?

"Right," she agreed weakly.

"If there's anything that can be done to avenge Ellana, I would do it."

"Even if it meant staying here?"

"Even if it meant coming back," Mahanon said, and squeezed her hands. "Would that be better?"

Jin grinned at him. "Wonderful."

He unwound his hands from hers and gave her a knowing look. "Now, I really must go. I want to find a nice shelter before sunset, and I won't do that if I stay here talking with you."

"Of course. And, oh, Mahanon, about what I told you earlier, it'll all remain secret, right?"

"Are you joking? I'll stop by Val Royeaux, request an audience with the thief Celene, and tell her about your wonderful story! She'll definitely believe me because I'm Dalish and dashing."

Jin swatted his arm. "Stop that! It was actually a concern of mine."

"Well, I'll keep your secret. I have a feeling Deshanna suspects you're not who you seem you are—"

"Oh, she _knows_ , she just would never guess the truth."

"And I have no obligation to tell her. She's a Keeper, not a Seeker."

"I'm surprised you know about the Seekers of Truth."

"I've been hearing so much about this Seeker Pentaghast I had to do some scouting of my own. By the way, Jin, take care of yourself. This…. Whatever will become of this place is dangerous. I don't trust shem on principle, but everyone in this place had a reason to go to the Conclave, and I don't see too many mages around here."

"Don't worry, Mahanon. I'm the Avatar."

"Ah, yes, most powerful person in a world I don't know about."

"Have faith in me."

Mahanon smiled at her. "Always. Good-bye, Jin Lavellan. I wish you the best, sister."

Jin felt her heart swell, and she waved back. "Save travels, brother."

He turned back, gave her one last parting look, and started trotting away from Haven. Jin stood rooted in her spot, unwilling to move even after Mahanon had become a small speck in the horizon. Part of her wished to go back to the Lavellans, but she knew she would only revert back to old habits, pretending the end of the world was a distant concern while she enjoyed her time amongst her friends.

But it wouldn't be the same. Mahanon knew who she was and Ellana was dead. She had been an outcast before for "unfair" reasons, as Mahanon put it, but now there were very authentic arguments against having her in the Lavellans. She failed the First, allowing one of their own to be killed. She felt at peace that Mahanon thought nothing could be done to save her, but if she had gone to the Conclave, she could've protected Ellana.

She could've also died, and her mission would have failed.

Jin hadn't thought about that, about how close death had been. In her world, dying was a choice, not an eventuality. Sure, there were some accidents here and there, but as the Avatar, Jin had always been above those. Not here, though. Thedas couldn't even protect Divine Justinia, so called leader of their Chantry faith. There were no guarantees in this world.

She turned her eyes towards Haven. Even this far away, her sensitive ears could pick up the boisterousness inside the town. She could sense that this place was about to be the birthplace of something great in the wake of this tragedy. But should she really be a part of it? What would Aruk recommend that she do? What would Master Fen tell her she should do?

Well, they may have controlled most of the areas of her life because of their experience, but in this particular area, she was now the most experienced one. She needed to remember that fact more often.

But she was a Spirit Healer, and she refused to hide that for too much longer. She already hid so many parts of herself, why add one more?

Soft footsteps in the snow alerted her of a new presence. Jin turned around to see Evelyn Trevelyan walking towards her. To the untrained eye, the two looked very similar, from the shape of their faces to the color of their hair and eyes to their body shapes. Granted, Jin was more muscular, while Evelyn more lithe, but this wasn't as immediately apparent as their similar features. Jin, however, had facial features like those from Earth, while Evelyn had Thedosian features.

"I didn't think it would take me so long to find the one person with a stable job in this place," Evelyn said with a huff.

Jin cocked her head to the side. "Evelyn Trevelyan. I can't say I expected you to be looking for me."

"What, not going to call me Herald of Andraste like everyone in this bloody place?"

Jin stiffened slightly at her acerbic tone. She seemed to be in a much better mood back when they were knee-deep in demons than when everyone was praising her for saving them. Maybe she didn't like the attention? "I'll call you that if you want to."

Evelyn sighed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. I came here first and foremost to say thank you, after all. Many mentioned how meticulously you watched over me, and even Solas thinks that my quick recovery was in part because of you."

"No thanks needed. Whether you're the Herald or not is up for debate, but no one can deny the Mark you have and its power. I would be a fool to give you any less attention."

"Regardless, no one can deny your expertise with healing. Now, this is recent, but Cassandra and Leliana have reinstated the Inquisition, and bullied me into joining. Well, maybe not bullied, but I was strongly advised to do so. Considering the infancy of this organization, we're in dire need of members."

Ah, the moment of truth. "And what is the purpose of this Inquisition?"

"According to Cassandra, to mend the Breach completely and find those responsible for this catastrophe. Additional duties will surely be added as time goes by, since Divine Justinia has died and something has to fill the void," she said in an almost annoyed tone, as if this whole situation was an inconvenience. Which, in a way, it was.

Jin cringed inwardly. Organized religion had a bloody past on Earth, and though it was very separated from the state, the people still clung to the Spirit Gods, and the Avatar as their messenger. She had hoped to get away from that in Thedas, but it was just wishful thinking at this point.

"And I'm guessing you want me to join."

"If I haven't made it obvious by now, yes, I want you to join. But I don't want you to join the Inquisition specifically, I want you to join _me_. I've recruited Solas and Varric so far, and Cassandra, though not completely on my side, has pledged to protect me. You would officially be part of the Inquisition, but—"

"I would answer to you?"

"Not _exactly_ , but, yeah," she finished rather lamely.

Huh, that was new. She should be offended, but it was quite frankly refreshing to hear someone wanting the Avatar to be under their command.

"I'm not asking you to join me without any benefits, though," she added after Jin said nothing. "I am extending my protection to Solas from the Chantry so he can do his weird apostate thing and continue to study the Mark, and I've already promised Varric he has my permission to write about whatever he wants if we make it out alive. If there's anything you want, and I can grant it, you can have it."

Now that was interesting. "Before we continue, there must something about me you must know. I am a Spirit Healer."

Evelyn's eyes widened, and she took various steps forward. "A Spirit Healer? Like… You channel a spirit's power to heal wounds, right?"

Jin couldn't help the impressed look she shot her. "Um, actually, yeah. I thought most people would assume I was bonded with a spirit."

"Anders was an exception, I know," Evelyn said darkly. "My older brother was a Spirit Healer. He got a lot of shit from both mages and Templars during the war because of that bastard. I made sure to learn the difference to educate ignorant assholes. Pardon by language."

She chuckled. "Nothing to be sorry about. Anyway, the spirit I mostly get my powers from, however, is very against the loss of life, to both demons and people." A lie, but who would ever find out? "I'm sure you know how important it is to not displease the source of my healing powers."

"Maxwell did mention some spirits could be fickle. That since they were from the Fade, their own way of being was very different from ours. Their essences cannot change without twisting them."

Wow, Jin was now actually impressed. She wasn't sure what she had initially thought of Evelyn, but it was certainly not this. "Correct. I'm relieved I don't have to explain so much."

"Solas may just have talked to me about spirits a bit ago. You two would get along. Uh, not because you talk a lot, but because you both like spirits."

"I guess I should actually have a conversation with him, then."

"But, back to the original topic, what you're basically telling me is that your healing powers relies on you not killing anyone. Huh. Well, a small hurdle, but the reason why I want you to join me is because I don't want to get terribly wounded and die, not because I need more fighters. Acceptable. Now, what do you want to get you to join me?"

"I want to find more about the Blight, and would want any sources you have or find along the way."

"The Blight?" Evelyn repeated, confused. "We just survived a Blight. You don't think another one will be coming so soon, right?"

"No, I don't think a new Blight is upon us. But I want to research it for a personal reason."

Evelyn raised both of her hands in defeat. "Right, I didn't mean to pry." She dropped her hands to the side and nodded approvingly. "I think it's a very reasonable request. Thank the Maker you didn't ask me to research spirits. I know we just talked about them, but considering the state the Chantry is in, I can't have the Inquisition spending resources on that," she told her with a knowing look.

"Of course, Evelyn. I didn't think otherwise," she replied in a meaningful tone. She knew very well about this world's fear of spirits, and wouldn't ask the very organization that perpetuated that fear to help her research them. Well, she didn't want to research spirits, but rather bring down the Veil, but that was even more preposterous to ask, considering the present situation.

Or any situation, really.

"However, if you want to research them on your own time, you can do as you wish. You may be a part of the Inquisition, but I don't care what you do. Now, with the Blight business, I don't know where the Grey Wardens are, but chances are we can find one. I don't know how lucky you'll be in getting any information out of them, however.

"Well, I'm glad that's set, then. Welcome to the Inquisition, Jean. I'm not sure what we've gotten ourselves into, but hopefully we make it alive. We'll be setting off to the Hinterlands in a week's time. I hope you have strong legs because it'll be a long journey, since we have no horses. I still can't believe we have no horses."

"I'm sure we'll make do."

Evelyn waved a disinterested hand. "Right, we've wasted enough time talking about this." Her body shivered, and Jin pretended to at least look somewhat cold. Regulating body temperature with airbending was a thing only she could do. "Man, I need a drink. I'll see you around, Jean. Nice meeting you, finally."

"See you around, Evelyn."

Jin stared at the setting sun in surprise. She didn't think she had spent this much time outside, but it made sense; a lot had happened. She was now an Inquisition member, albeit not the way she initially envisioned it. Being beholden to Evelyn, the Herald of Andraste, might be a bigger advantage than just being a random member of the Inquisition, though. Leliana would no wonder be more thorough in her background check of Jin, but that's where Mahanon came in to cover her ass.

She might make strong connections here, and she supposed part of her role was to also serve as a negotiator and ambassador to her people. She couldn't do that if she was a nobody.

But then again, connections were necessary for ordinary people. She was an alien, and the Avatar to boot. She need only show a fraction of her power to have Thedas's attention. Showing her powers might be taken the wrong way, however, and she didn't want to start her message of peace by bending people to her will. So, maybe it was for the best that she keep this course of action. Plus having powerful allies would definitely be a boon at the negotiating table.

Jin sighed and kicked at the snow. She really wished Aruk were here. This was too much for her. No person, Avatar or not, should be in charge of the fate of the world.

Many of her predecessors have been, though, she told herself. It was her duty and burden as Avatar. It was sad how many times she needed to be reminded, but at least she didn't need anyone to tell her anymore.

She would do it. She would save Earth and heal Thedas at the same time, because only the Avatar could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Codex Entry: Avatar and Host Parentage
> 
> After the God Avatar era, historians came to the conclusion that one of the sources behind the God Avatar's complexes was their parents, as they raised the God Avatar as a divine being rather than a vessel for Raava. To prevent future parents from making this mistake, and future Hosts and Avatars from believing this, parents of an Avatar or Host are obligated to surrender the child to the White and Red Lotus, respectively, to be raised as worldly people. The information on their parentage becomes available to Avatars and Hosts once they're fully realized, but few have chosen to seek them out.


End file.
